| Welp it's been a while guys. Umm i'm still seeing her and we still havent fucked yet =/... I've gotten close a few times -> the big problems now are she doesn't really wanna kiss me + LMR. Extreme LMR... For instance tonight she stopped by and as soon as she got here she had a time constraint - her mom was mad and wanted her home. So she got here, she said she was exhausted so i carried her from her car, inside my house and set her down on top of my as i layed on the couch. I was rubbing her thighs and stuff while we talked. I reminded her that i owed her a massage from her birthday so i carried her to my bed, took off her shirt (no resistance - i'm just gonna call it NR), played with her tits (NR), layed her down, unhooked her bra (NR), pulled her pants down past her ass (slight resistance) "why are you...?" "so i can massage your lower back", got out the massage oil and applied it to her back and began massaging, she loved it, i put a lot of oil on her ass and began massaging that (NR), i can see her camel toe from behind and that's turning me on, pulled her panties down past her ass(NR) and can she she is already dripping wet. Massaged her ass and back for a while longer while we talked.
Rubbed her thighs (NR), brushed my hand against her pussy (NR), stuck a finger inside her pussy (NR) "omg your hand is cold..." "lol"... I fingered her like this while i massaged her ass and feet with my other hand (NR). took off my pants and boxers - "what are you doing?" "getting comfortable". turned on music on my computer and walked back over to her and rolled her onto her back (NR)
Spread her legs and fingered her(NR). I went down between her legs and teased her pussy with my tongue (NR). I kissed her, she kissed back for a second. I began bringing my hips closer her hers, getting ready to penetrate and (LMR) she closes her legs. I said "sorry", "for what?", "moving too fast", no response. I tried to kiss her again and she wouldn't. So i got up, ignored her for a minute and changed the song. I began eating her out again and fingering her for 5 minutes or so(NR). She was getting really into it so i decided to try again, I layed on top of her again and began kissing her neck (NR), i lowered my hips towards her again, right as my dick touched her clit she said (very quietly at first),
"no... no... stop, stop, danny stop(louder)", "what is it?" "this doesn't feel right, I---"... I already knew what she was gonna say so I stopped her pulled away and said "Shh". I said "kiss me", she said "no". I kissed her neck and nipples. I started to rub her clit again but alot more slowly and with less intensity. Her mom called like 1 minute later wanting to know where the hell she was. She quickly put her clothes back on and left. Before she left i asked if everything was okay, "ya i just don't want either of us to get into trouble" I didn't get another kiss, just a hug.
There have been other instances where we were in her car making out and i'd do as little as try to rub her pussy and i'd get LMR. She always has an excuse. This time i didn't want to hear it but last time she said it was because she was thinking of her bf. We were on drugs and I pulled away last time and told her how i was feeling. After I got a little emotional she told me it's cause i treat her so much better than her bf does and it makes her feel bad that we're having all this fun that she doesn't have with him.
What do you guys generally do when you get LMR? The only thing i know of is to just pull away as soon as she resists and hope she comes to you. She didn't come to me when I did it and i probably shouldn't have eaten her out after getting LMR. If i would have escalated gradually instead of trying to go all the way after only fingering her for 3 minutes then things might have gone differently. If i would have given her 15 minutes between my tongue and hand without a break before moving on, I think she would've been turned on enough to fuck. My game is all thrown off when i'm with her because i like her so much, I don't use the same moves i normally would and not in the same way. With other girls it's sooo much easier because i perform better because i'm not concerned about it.
Another problem i'm still having is my feelings for her. Like I wanna kiss her so bad and she turns her head away 75% of the time that i try. She's not like other girls i've met, she describes herself as having "a manly personality" and that's because she isn't very emotional, she doesn't talk about her feelings much and she's not very considerate of other feelings. And this huge wall she puts up makes things impossible to get close to her. I've froze her out a couple of times but it didn't really do anything. Since she loves someone else her feelings aren't as strong for me(I just don't think she has room in her heart to love another)... I have been fucking another girl and taking my sexual frustration out on her but it's not enough to get my mind completely off of her. I still want her more than she wants me and it's driving me crazy that we haven't had sex yet, i've never waited this long (2 months) for a girl. Andd i feel like the longer she makes me wait for sex the stronger my feelings for her get. It's so fucked up.
P.S. I texted her asking what she meant by "it doesn't feel right" and she responded back saying "it just didn't feel like the right time". Oh ya! and she's also my "secret" valentine and i'm gonna take her to sacramento, have a nice night out on the town and get a hotel so i think i'll be able to make it happen then if not sooner.
Thanks for reading this long ass post! I appreciate your time,
-Hairy
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At the end of the day you need to ask yourself, am I a sheep or a wolf?
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