Okay, so I was seeing this girl for the past five months, and she recently told me she didn't want to be with me anymore because she felt like we fought too much. For the first two months, I maintained a nonchalant persona, one in which I felt like I was in control. But about two months into the relationship, she took an all-girls trip to Vegas and did not invite me. Needless to say, I got pretty pissed about it, and when she came back I found myself with a load of trust issues. We started going through each other's phones. There were a few guys I had issues with her talking to, and there were a few girls she had issues with me talking to as well. (She had trust issues with me because she thought I was a player and that I was doing stuff behind her back, which I was. I hooked up with 19 different girls during the five months with her, but none of them meant anything like she did.)

After about two months of checking each other's phones, she told me she no longer liked me as much and that she did not want to pursue a relationship with me. This really hurt. I tried talking to her to tell her that our fights weren't that bad or that frequent. And I sent a few texts after we stopped seeing each other in person. I know, really AFC. It's been five days since we've seen each other now. She replied to one of my texts yesterday, but I have not read it/replied. I know it's best to forget about her and start gaming other girls, but I still really miss her. And I don't have many friends so it's hard to go out and game other chicas. (Solo game feels awkward to me.) Do you think going NC will prompt her to contact me? Even if I don't want to take her back, it will boost my ego a lot if she begged me to get back with her.

One final note: one of the reasons I had trust issues with her is because she cheated on her ex-boyfriend (who was her only relationship before me) of three years during a break. During the break from him, she took a trip to Vegas with her friends and ended up hooking up with a guy there, but did not go all the way. Not hard to imagine why I dislike her Vegas trips!

Thanks for the advice, guys!

How old are you? You aren't ready for a exclusive relationship man you hooked up with 19 different girls in 5 months hahah. You need to forget about this chick don't contact her again and do some solo gaming. Solo gaming isn't too bad once you get used to it.

Thanks for the reply. I'm 23. We go to the same med school so it's going to be weird to see each other every day in class when we start back in January. I wasn't really wanting to be in a relationship with her, but it just got to the point where I was used to her presence. Since we are in school together, we spent nearly every hour of every day with each other, either studying or just chilling. It got to where we pretty much lived together. If you have any advice on solo gaming, I'd be grateful to hear it.

You hooked up with 19 girls??? WTF Do you expect?

And why are you getting jealous of her when you're banging chicks out left and right? If you're banging 19 girls on the side she has the right to get at least one other dick... it's the laws of the universe.

You either try to make amends and become exclusive with just her... or become fuck buddies and you don't complain when she's getting her side dish of dick & balls.

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Hahaha! Thanks for the tough love. I didn't bang all 19, but I did stuff with 19 ranging from makeouts to F-closes. I think what really messed up the relationship was that she caught me with lipstick on my face when we went to a party together once. I told her some girl pretty much attacked me and I had to push her off. But once you see something like lipstick on your dude's face, it's pretty hard to trust him afterward. Definitely learned a lesson from that--that I need to keep a cleaner image in the next relationship and hide my creep better.

lmfao... despite the tough love I do applaud you for your accomplishments. It's a shame you didn't get to reach 20 before getting caught.

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I did cuddle one other girl. I don't count that, but it's kinda like the 20th one. I also went on dates with at least four different girls and did probably 70+ approaches during my time with the main squeeze, including many approaches when I was out with her.

Does anyone have any advice on dealing with post-breakup boredom? That's really all I'm struggling with now. I haven't been finding anything appealing. I've been trying to watch TV, study random subjects online, read, write, walk around, clean, drink--nothing seems to fill the void. I live alone and all my classmates are gone for winter break so it makes it worse. When I was with the main squeeze, we'd just watch TV or go out to eat and it'd be fun. I'm literally getting ready to go out gaming right now, but I'm going out alone so I don't anticipate much success. I have a bad tendency when solo gaming of walking into bars, heading straight to the bathroom while scanning around, then going to the bar, ordering the cheapest drink available, drinking it alone, and not doing a single approach. When I'm with the main squeeze, I just tell her I'm going to the bathroom and disappear and do countless approaches. I don't know what my problem is with gaming when I'm not around her.

Go lift man it does wonder for your body and mind. As far as solo gaming goes, I'm pretty good at making random friends with people in bars and then they introduce me to their girls. But I don't suggest that. Just have confidence and don't be afraid to go at a girl, confidence is key.

Thanks for the reply, brother. So I ended up going out to a bar right outside my apartment last night. I met four dudes, all PhD students, and went bar hopping with them. Cool guys. I ended up having one of the most philosophical conversations I've ever had. One of them, this Brazilian dude in town for school, offered some really important advice: he said, when I suggested going to find chicks, that going out is about having a good time with your bros, chicks are secondary, supplemental. This made a lot of sense. What I realized from this is, I don't need to be with the main squeeze. There are a lot of people out there smarter and more fun than her. I ended up doing three approaches (It was a slow night.), got one number, and two "boyfriend" lines. I also hooked up with one of my regulars before going out and am meeting another tonight, and am going out gaming with a friend after her. I think this separation from the main squeeze is turning me into even more of an animal. Three more K-closes till I hit 40 this year--a record for me. Here's to happy playing for the last few days of a wonderful year, fellas!

Hey, gents, just a quick update if anyone is still reading. (I figured I'm going to log my experiences here so that I can reread in the future for additional knowledge or help anyone else in similar situations.) I went out last night with one of the PhD students I met Thursday. It was somewhat of a slow night for a Friday, but my approach game was on fire. I ended up opening practically every set of girls I came across, pulled six numbers, and scored four K-closes (Hit my goal of 40 in one year!). I relinked with a two-set I had met earlier in the night around 1 a.m. and stayed with them till the bar closed in hopes of pulling back to my apartment, but they were getting picked up by a friend and had to leave. I ended up K-closing both of them, and one got a little mad. Oops. I'm going out tonight, by myself again so we'll see how it goes.

I still find myself struggling a little with post-breakup boredom/missing the main squeeze. It's been three days of NC and I haven't heard anything from her. I'm starting to feel the first effect of a drought--it's been six days since I've F-closed anything. I'll be trying to recruit some girls back to the pad tonight, but I have a hard time scoring SNLs. It's bothersome thinking about what the main squeeze may be up to, whether she's going out or what. I hate knowing that girls can practically go out any night of the week and pick up any guy they want or just get with a guy they're not interested in because they're rebounding/wanting to get revenge. Does anyone have any advice on dealing with these emotions? I feel like the only way to get over them is to find a better girl, one who blows the prior one out of the water. But finding girls like this is difficult. It seems like all of the girls I meet at bars/clubs are uneducated, boring girls without any good qualities.

P.S. I'm sick of seeing these AFCs who orbit around girls, buying them drinks all night. I had one approach my two-set I was gaming. He started talking to me, and I just cut him off and started speaking to one of the girls. This loser bought each girl a drink and left, without even getting a number. Lol. It really unsettles the mind, however, knowing that one of these weak-ass fools could be dicking down my main chick right now because of her current state of mind. Gawwwww!

I broke up with my girlfriend 3 months ago and I can tell you from my experience that getting over them completely takes awhile, I still think about my ex alot.

I just keep/kept telling myself that I was better off without her, thought about the bad things about her and tell myself that I wouldn't want those problems back in my life again. You are free of the responsibility of a relationship now, its like having a noose take away from around your neck.

But like with pick up theres no miracle pill to make things easier, just keep focusing on Pick Up and it will pull you through like it has for me.
Haha too right. me and my ex are apart of the same Snowsport society and I have to put up with her being around every Tuesday night at the social events. This one guy whose a mutual friend recently bought her quite a few drinks and shared food with her that he brought into the bar, I just remember saying to myself "Wow if he's trying to get in her pants he's got no chance. Friendzoned for sure"

Funny too because if she did get with him the only thing he has goin for him is his confidence and money. He looks like he weighs more than me and has weird eyebrows, the weight issue is something my ex complained about at me towards the end of the relationship. Lost a stone since we broke up too

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Keeping signatures original since: Wed Oct 09, 2013

Yeah, I agree. I had a serious relationship that ended about two years ago. That was a REALLY tough breakup. I was pretty much crushed for a good two months. Going through one that bad definitely makes this current breakup a lot better, but it still aches a little.

I think pickup is the best way to get over an ex. Eventually I'll land something that carries some potential. But until then, it just gets old collecting all these numbers and K-closes and then not have them lead to anything. I wonder, do you guys think girls miss guys during breaks as much as guys miss girls? Since girls can get pretty much get any guy they want, I imagine it makes it a lot easier. It's like having a club full of hot girls who are all receptive to going home with you.

So another update. (I'm going to post one every time the boredom or loneliness starts to creep up. Consider this my post-breakup therapy--writing to you guys.) I went out last night alone. It was an unsuccessful night. I went to two different bars and did only one approach. The target said, without even a hint of an accent: "I don't speak any English." I didn't waste any time on her after that. Late at night, I had one of my regulars come by. We didn't go all the way but did some stuff. She wanted to stay. I didn't want her to but didn't want to be too rude either so I let her. Early morning, I gave away some hints that she should leave, and, after begging me to walk her out (which I refused), she left. I'm having a hard time dealing with my regulars when I know they're not the girl I'd really prefer to be spending time with. It's difficult dealing with girls who aren't as successful as the main girl. All my regulars are uneducated, and none of them are as pretty as she is. I'm still brainstorming on where quality girls can be found and am currently coming up blank. I'm at the point now, as a medical student, where I'm not interested in any uneducated girls or even undergraduate ones, which limits my dating pool significantly. The boredom/loneliness is hitting me pretty hard today. It's been four days of NC, and I still haven't heard anything from the main squeeze. I'm going to hold out for good, but it'd be nice to see at least a little suffering on her end through means of a desperate text, FB message, or phone call. I've been trying to read and am also putting together some ideas for school things, but it's difficult devoting my full concentration when all I keep wondering about is how the main squeeze is being so strong. I don't understand how girls can walk away so easily--especially when they're in low positions in life. This girl for instance has no family or friends outside our class in this state, and she hasn't been doing well in school. That's why I'm wondering if she'll hit me up once she gets back from winter break--once the comfort of being home with her parents and friends is gone. I find myself just going for walks every night and smoking. I know I should be focusing on healthy habits instead, but it feels better when I'm smoking or drinking. Today is the first day in the past four that I haven't drunk, and I'm not going to again until New Year's Eve. I just need to cope with the boredom till then. I'm supposed to meet a new girl for drinks tomorrow night. We'll see how that goes. And I have plans to go out with some classmates on New Year's. I have been trying to get at one of the girls who's planning on going, but last time I heard she had a boyfriend in another state. My biggest issue still is coping with the void that used to be filled by being with my main chick. I've made up my mind that today is the last day I'll be smoking. Tomorrow I'm heading back to the gym and am going to begin focusing on school things full-time. At the very least, I hope any success that comes from that will make the main chick jealous. Part of me feels now that I'm in a competition with her. Neither one of us is going to break NC, and I'm not going to squander my entire winter break missing her. I think maybe I'm suffering the way I am because I have issues with my inner game. I let myself become too comfortable with the presence of regular booty, to the point where I was devoting more time to her than to school. I stopped working out and even stopped flossing (Lol.). These things have to be avoided, to both maintain a healthy relationship and to especially maintain individuality/personal strength. I don't know. Just gotta hold out till New Year's and then game the hell out of the other girl I'm interested in and hope she left her lame-ass boyfriend who lives on the other side of the country. As I wrote above, I'll post updates whenever I feel the effects of the loneliness creeping. Thanks to whomever who is reading.

It's been like, four days of NC.

You're trying to force yourself to feel better. It doesn't work like that.

It was a full month of absolutely zero contact, not even a hint, before I stopped thinking about my ex so much. You need time to grieve and heal, as lame as that may sound. Give yourself time, and as for girls, so what if they're not rocket scientists? Just fuck anything that offers itself on a plate, it helps.

Yeah, I know that's true. I'm just tired of dealing with it. You know what's funny, is that before this goddamn relationship I felt like I was the man. I've been closing girls repeatedly this whole year, and I have a lot going on for myself. But, for whatever reason, I got a bad case of oneitis for this girl. I sometimes get kinda mad at myself because she's not even close to being the greatest. When I met her, I was trying to close her roommate, but then the roommate fell asleep so I got stuck with her. And at the time, I remember thinking she wasn't even in my league. As I said in one of my earlier posts, she's like a 7, maybe an 8, when she's dressed up, and she doesn't have that great of a personality. She's sarcastic, selfish, unaffectionate, and uncaring.

I've been giving myself time to grieve and adapt to the life change. I just wrote a few hours ago that I wasn't going to drink until New Year's Eve, but the shit was creeping up on me a while ago so I had to make a beer run. I don't like that alcohol helps with this breakup shit, but it really does. I feel like I'm abusing my body, but honestly it's the only way the ache truly goes away. I've been reading that alcohol after a breakup is not a good idea, but I feel like if it keeps me from breaking NC then what's the issue? I know that in a few weeks when this withdrawal phase is over, I'll be proud that I didn't beg her to come back; and alcohol really is a magical drug for helping forget someone. I'm taking it that you'll approve as you wrote taking time to grieve after a breakup is healthy, and every dude grieves in his own way?