I figured this thread use another update. Well we still talk and text and whatnot. I usually Let her initiate contact first, make her walk to me, stuff like that. She's opening up more. Texting gets pretty amorous and sexual at times. But that's the extent of it. A key thing to remember here is she's very moral and doesn't want to cheat or do anything that goes along with that eve though she already did by kissing me, but whatever.

So I'm wondering, why the hell is she texting sexual shit like she does at times and not just give in and go through with it? I understand where she's coming from but why even text like that at all? Is it her way of not cheating but still liking me in her own way or what? She's admitted that this is the first time she's wanted another man (me) but is still with another. I'm nobody special or anything, maybe to her... Anyways, her thing is, if it's meant to be then it'll happen, I'm assuming that's her referring to a relationship, which I wouldn't mind, sounds beta, I know. But she's afraid of change, and that's what's keeping her from moving on. It's probably a lot more than that but I gotta be a boss and shit and not wait forever. Eventually I WILL move on due to her indecisiveness.

Everything is there, the attraction, sexual tension I guess you could call it (she wants to rape me she texted me last week, etc. I believe she's wanting a relationship once she's dumped fucknuts. But how would I know I'm the only one? She's told me she's not interested in anyone else but I believe there's another guy she likes her. For instance, I was talking to her at work and this other guy walks by and she goes to fuck around with something real quick when he came by. Now I'm not a master PUA or anything but I kind of made a beta move later on. We were having a talk when he came by. I later sent an annoyed toned text that I probably wasn't the only one she would like to drive crazy. She then mentioned that's she wasn't interested in anybody else. I dropped it then but i won't play second or third fiddle to anyone else. I mean, she realizes how this is starting to make me feel, sitting on the sidelines so to speak. But I guess she's watched too many chick flicks or something and "if it's meant to be then it'll happen whether I'm afraid of change or not" (her words). Hell, it's obvious to everyone at work what we got goin on. In$tinct gave me advice on getting her alone and whatnot, but my thing is, is not to push it. I need to calibrate but this is a first for me. How can I if she's standing her ground on not cheating? I've been casual and nice to her, and it's working in my favor apparently but I'm getting beta here by thinking too much on this situation and it affects by mood every now and then, which isn't alpha. Any thoughts on this guys?

Hey man, I know this thread is about you, but I thought I could share my similar situation. I've got this colleague at university. We kissed, groped and stuff at a party (both a bit drunk), but never anything more cause she's got a bf for like 3 years and can't, I quote "break up because of a fling between us, even though he's not the right one for me" and some other bullshit. This happened a few months ago. I didn't push it since she told me she's taken and I was seeing two other HBs. I got her # but texted like 2-3 times cause she has this (stupid) policy that she and the bf can check each other's phones anytime, so she avoids it as much as possible.
However, since two weeks ago, she's started checking me out every single day! I talk to her when possible, act casual, but the things die out when the (beta) BF is around us. They even come and leave together from the building, so there isn't much time to isolate her. I also did that and tried to follow Instinct advice, but as in your case, nothing useful happened.
Another thing, today I was having a banter with a HB9 and while laughing, I noticed her eye-fucking me, literally! I mean, she outclassed Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct!
She even told me last Friday, that "it's your choice if you can wait for me, or not. I can't break up all of a sudden. This is all new to me" blabla

You guys forget one thing. At some point you need to take the risk and make the move because she ain't gonna do that for you. You may lose her, or you may win her, but this game has always been like that, and it will never change. There is no foolproof way to do it, especially with girls that have boyfriends.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Here's another update guys. First of all, thanks for your advice In$tinct. I'll start off by giving the readers a rundown of what my situation is.

Me and this girl have been essentially talking for over a month now. She's a good girl, real sweetheart, beautiful, tall brunette. She also has morals, due to her religious upbringing. But she's got a wild side as well. We text some sexual shit and whatnot, have fooled around a few times too. We like each other, but alas, she has a bf. She's not happy in her relationship and wants out. It's to the point where she'd probably fuck tonight if she wasn't taken. We work together too which makes this harder. It's obvious at work what's goin on, what started as a secret is now out. But let me get to the latest on this.

So a friend from work had a little cookout and beer shindig at his house. It's me and several other guys shooting the shit and watching football, etc. Now, the day before, she invited me to this. She and a few of her buzzed up friends finally come over (we're all buzzed up at this point). And the get together quickly turns into a party. We play drinking games and she's sitting beside me. I Rub up on her leg and she mine, we hold hands and whatnot then I rub on her pussy (no resistance). Later on the guys pretty much make us go to a room due a drinking game rule or something. So I'm like, well rules are rules, let's go. We get to making out, I finger her, and this whole time, she's saying she can't cheat. Yet there we were, like it was high school all over again. She gets kind of serious and we talk about some stuff related to her bf and her not wanting to cheat, yet she was cheating literally at the same time. So that ended, and shortly after she leaves for the night. But this type of stuff has only happened twice and even then when there's alcohol involved. Yet she won't even kiss me any other time, apparently, she's very against cheating so I'm a lucky dude I guess. And today she hasn't texted much and not at all after work today.

I also have a concern and would advice on this especially. It seems she looks at another guy when he's around. Now, I'm not a jealous rage type of guy but that shit has been bothering me. And I'll be honest, there's a little jealousy on my part and it kind of pisses me off. So, how can I deal with those feelings? I realize that it takes courage to change so I'm looking for any and all help on this. Thanks for reading and feel free to post feedback...

So another update on my last update....

Well now I'm starting to think maybe, she's having some guilt trip issues, is that wrong word usage??? I'll break it down:

1. Since our fling on Sunday, our text convos have amounted to very little. we do text, just not in the capacity that it was before. Again, I let her initiate contact for the most part, we're not together yet so I'm treating this as mid-game, but not quite relationship status though I'm fuckin up by developing feelings for her, she knows this and she has feelings for me as well.

2. At work, she talks to me and we joke around, but something's not right. I feel it's on her end, like she's cooling off or losing interest but there's been somewhat of a change, just cant put my finger on it. This leads me to my next point...

3. There's two other guys at work that seem to get her attention (she looks at them and does a poor job of hiding it, I haven't brought it up) and another dude today bought her and another girl there flowers, not sure why. Needless to say, I came home not the happiest dude. It could be I'm imagining shit, but I see what I see.

4. So when I see this behavior, I usually just not talk to her, and keep my head down, I'm kind of reserved and shy anyways but no coward. Its not the way to go but I'm human. So in what manner should I proceed when I see this crap?

5. She can usually tell when I get like this and she proceeds to not really talk to much afterwards or anything, what is it that I have on my end to get her like this? Is she mirroring my behavior for a reason? What started as a casual work friendship turned complex over the last few months so its kind of above my experience level so to speak. Seriously guys, any advice/feedback would help out.

I think following some basic principles you should be able to break this resistance. Just treat it like you'd treat a simple LMR. I'm starting to fail to understand why is this girl torturing herself. She IS cheating on her boyfriend. I think fingering can easily be considered cheating, and she knows it. You're right on the fact that she might be feeling a shit ton of guilt. The most important thing would be to make her understand that this is not her fault.

Don't fucking care about the other dudes. I highly doubt that some other bloke is doing as well as you on this one, so why the hell do you care? Bought her flowers? Seriously? So what? Dude, if you're showing signs of jealousy even before you two are together, that's not gonna be good. Grab your balls, mate!

Cheers,
In$tinct.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Thanks bro. I could use a little tough love at the moment. Yeah, I'm pretty sure no one can understand why she's still with him. Seriously, everybody I know tells her to fuckin run but I believe she's trying to find a defense for his offense if u get what I'm saying.

So in what manner should I proceed? Let them other dudes try and try? Nothing I can do about it I guess. She says this is the first time in two years she's been with another guy. Of this and knowing her, I cant be 100% certain but I'm inclined to believe her but not 100%. So critique my strategy please. I'm just gonna keep it casual and let our history keep her shit in line. I'm gonna chalk up the minuscule texting and her being kind of distant to guilt, it's gotta be that. It's hard to really see her outside of work, given her situation, We'd be fuckin otherwise. Or else these matters wouldn't have arisen.

Alright, more of the same. No contact initiation outside of work. At work, she makes awkward/genuine convo at the same time, in short, she's basically pushing me away it seems. Basically not the same girl I got with on Sunday. I'm calling it, I bet in two weeks time, I get the LJBF text/talk. Maybe her relationship is that bad to where she don't want shit to do with guys for a while. I'd like handle it on my own and just go up to her and be like, you know what, since Sunday, things seem different blah blah...I know ur relationship is bad....blah...if Sunday night was too much...blah blah...when your finally serious, let me know.... Something like that. Not necessarily those topics but I feel the need to be direct. I've told her last weekend actually before we got together, 'push me away and I will go away'. This the night before she cheated with me. Anyways, had to vent a little somehow...

Yeah this "let me know when you're ready" is not too cool. She had way more than enough time to decide, and even now that things got this far she's still acting like a poor oblivious innocent. It's annoying just reading this, I can imagine you don't feel quite happy about this. I don't know whether she's the only girl in sight for you, or whatever else reason keeps you pushing her, but I can only tell you, that I'm a really persistent guy, when it comes to women(always giving them one very very last shot), but I'd have left this one eons ago.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Don't get nutted up over one women, that is weak and feminine. I used to get a crush if a girl just smiled at me, it was pathetic, got me nowhere.

You guys are right, I should've quit fuckin around and moved on. In some ways I already have. But I haven't fully moved on, at the same time, my world doesn't revolve around her. Just coz I'm not fuckin her doesn't mean I'm not fuckin (I slept with a former flame just earlier today).

But it is what it is, we have feelings for each other and I'm human. My game isn't great or anything (I've just started really), but she's a HB9, at least, so I'm gonna at least get all the experience points I can. Friday was our last day before the holiday break, so I pulled some shit and had her meet up with me and we made out and felt her up but that's as far as it went. Anyways, Sunday she texted me she had a dream that night where she was giving me head. So at least Im in her head and now I've got work making her dreams come true...

I called it didn't I?

In one of earlier posts posted not too long ago, I said this would happen...this is her text I got earlier. Mind you we're on Christmas break at the moment til Monday. And I quote..........

"You deserve a lot better than me. I don't know my head is right now or my heart and I don't want to keep leading you on and playing with your feelings. You're such a sweetheart and if I met you at a different time in my life that would of been great but right now I don't know what I need to do. ******** begged for another chance and im going to try one more time. Please don't be mad at my stupidity, you deserve the best and I cant be that for you. Hope this don't make things weird, your a great person and I still want to remain friends I just cant be leading you on. Hope your having a great Christmas, I'll see ya when I get back."

I haven't replied yet. Im tempted to just say "yeah ill see you Monday" or something like that. It feels like pressure has been lifted off but at the same time, I feel like crap but cut me some slack. This is a girl who got offered a modeling career in Paris or Milan when she was younger but turned it down. Sweet gal, among other things, she was knockout gorgeous, but beauty doesn't translate into brains as we now know or have known. This same LJBF text shit had happened before roughly two months ago or something and the "just being friends" lasted just under two weeks then she came back for more.

After this, I feel it might be done for a good while if not for good, simply coz her douchedick bf will be on his best behavior for a while, but its her loss really, I will be gone eventually and maybe by the time she gets her shit together coz the work is temporary, we work at the same company. I'm in her head and I'll be on her mind, so time to be the flame, not the moth...even more so. Fuck it, I know guys wouldn't have stayed but I kind of stuck around, guess I had to 'touch the flame' or bite the bullet or whatever just to know the feeling first hand for experience' sake.

I may keep this updated just to kill some time at work or some shit but I already set up a date with a girl from the past literally within the hour of that text but this one is different so I might start another thread on her.

So yeah...damn I'm good, I called it didn't I?

Yeah don't be upset about it. This is a good learning experience. As long as she has no idea what she wants, there's hardly anything serious you can plan with her, so you're really just better off with that other girl.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Yeah, still though, I never got all the way but for the type that she is, and as far as I got, it's definitely a win for my "game" anyways...I'm ahead.