Lately i've been blowing myself out of sets, including sure f-closes. I've had HB9s come up to me, buy me drinks and ask me to go with them to location X(Bar/Smoking area/Seats). I've had women show off on front of me then come up to me and try strike up a conversation and a few other instances this past month where women have just come to me or clearly been into me.

I just keep blowing myself out. One girl bought me a drink then I easily got distracted and didn't talk to her after that. Another was grinding up against me and grabbing me to the side. I played hard to get(Don't know why), another was grabbing my hand, pulling me into her, touching me all the time, trying to massage my back and trying to qualify for me but I just turned my back to her. I don't know exactly what it is i'm doing or thinking when I do these things but it's been a recent occurrence and a serious problem as it's effecting me in PU and my inner game.

Anyone else been through this before? I've had the perfect line ups, things that require very little effort and no approach on my part(But forced IOIs) but still fucked it up. Turn back the clock and I didn't have this problem. I would go up to women say what I would normally think to say and close her but now... Fuck if I know. All I know is this is something I need to fix as soon as possible. I've already ruined five f-closes this month!

If you ask yourself honestly, what do you feel for those girls that you reject (because that is what you do)? I have a vague feeling that your subconscious may be doing you a favor here, actually. Maybe you are not attracted to them in the first place? Sure they look hot, but that is usually not enough for a man (it sure isn't for me). They need to have a hot personality too.

The girls you describe seem to be too easy, if you ask me. They are just giving themselves away to you, and I would react in the exact same way as you do. But I would do it consciously, a little bit disgusted maybe, or just not attracted. People, both guys and girls, enjoy the hunt. No one likes an easy target.

If you force yourself to sleep with such girls, you may loose your self respect in the long term. So think twice before you do that.

You have calibration issues it seems... stop thinking about hard and fast rules and start thinking about what will work in the particular situation.

_________________
http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Thanks for the reply.

That could have something to do with it. It definitely was attractive to have a woman come up to me, hit on me and shyly ask to buy me a drink as if I was the next best thing to Brad Pitt(I'm not). She was sexy, confident and it was a huge turn on to have her do that. I definitely wanted to bring her back to mine but I think I just had a block on it. I've also approached women who i've wanted to talk to and then just walked away. To be more specific i've not really given it much of a chance beyond the validation they give to me initially when they show an interest in me.

I'm not entirely sure what it is. Is it confidence? Self-esteem? Depression? I really don't know what's happened to set this in, all I know is it's making it worse each time I see myself fail. I consider it a failure. I take no pleasure in turning down five women in a row. I just see it as a failure in myself to progress it to the next level. It's regression in my progress with women in general which isn't a good thing I feel. I want to be able to get over this and just go all in. I've thought of just hitting on anything that could walk on two legs at one point and keep at it no matter how much of a disaster it is so as to desensitise myself to what's happening(If I approach enough women one of them is sure to go with it no matter how bad I fuck up, right?).

Any suggestions on how to tackle this? When I think about it, I generally leave mid-game. Could this be disinterest or lack of knowing exactly where to take it and how to take it there? When I think about it now I don't really feel all that confident in knowing where or how to take it from opener to mid-game with a complete stranger.

Alright, this is a MASSIVE issue right now.

Do I have approach anxiety? It doesn't feel like it but i'm beginning to wonder.

Last night there was this cute HB checking me out the entire night. I forced eye contact once or twice and at the end of the night she stood opposite me across the room with her friend. I forced eye contact again, she responded well. I didn't approach. Is it AA? I feel i've fallen into a trap where I think the woman has to come to me. It's actually worked really well but I lose interest shortly after knowing I can have her... The challenge is gone. That or I unconsciously wimp out.

I need some advice on how to overcome this! If it's just a simple matter of AA I can deal with that... Just approach a bunch of random women but if it's the latter I definitely need help!

One thing I have learned from all this is the incredible power of simply forcing eye contact or forcing an IOI in general. It's like chick crack!

I feel you bro. I used to have major AA. Now I can handle it, but now I have some new type of AA (and I think you have it too). Sometimes when I'm in set I overanalyze shit, which causes me not to escalate or even leave my target. The solution is just the same as AA. Forcing yourself to do it until you can handle it.

Check your shower drain. If you have more fallen hairs than the usual, then your testosterone level is low. If your testosterone level is high, you will always have an easy hard on and thus, always attempt the f-close.

You can start with a diet of sauteed oysters, broccoli and cauliflowers. That's the easy part to building up your testosterone.

If your shower drain is clean and you always wake up to a morning boner, then it must be something else.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

^Same thought as Hellhound

It might be your hormones, do you live a healthy lifestyle with workout and good food, or do you eat junk food, smoke a lot and drink? Could be your body!

On the other hand it might also be that you just reached a point in your life where you might want something in particular, a girlfriend maybe?

Don't let it get you down, numbers don't count the only thing that counts is what you really want deep inside. I bet my money on that what you really want part ^^

Regards Cyber.

_________________
Life is not a Disney Movie. It's a frickin jungle out there...

You think of this as a regression. It is not. It is a progression in every sense of the word.

Firstly, you say that you used to go up to girls and talk to them, say what you want, and f-close. You are remembering the good f-closes. Try to remember all the bad sets you had in between them. You weren't "better" then. You have a deeper understanding of things now if anything, since you've been in the game longer.

Now you say the girls have come up to YOU, shown you massive interest. Has this happened before? These situations are new situations for you where you didn't know what to do. Therefore in those moments you doubted yourself, it was not something you had experienced before (even if most of it you had but something you hadn't, one things is enough to knock you off balance for a little while).

From this knocking off balance cam a loss of goal. For a successful pickup it is essential to have a goal. What is this goal in pickup? It is to have a sexual relationship with the girl. Let's get more specific. A goal can be: To fuck the girl. To Kiss the girl. To get her on a date where sexual intent is clear (above or beneath the surface, consciously or unconsciously). To get her number for a date. To be physical with her. Note how the goals are going backwards in steps here. Any step of the pickup process can be a goal. To Fuck is the ultimate one which we all should strive for.

So we can now call our goal our intention.

When a girl comes up to you your intention may not be to fuck her. It may be to sip your drink, or talk to your buddy. You are not taking action in that very moment. Therefore it is always good to be OPEN and AWARE, and PRESENT, and always have your intention to fuck girls lurking inside you. This way in any moment you could make your move, and fast.


This is not AA. At least the cause is not AA. You will always get AA no matter what. You can't eliminate it. Let's get that out of the way. Every night you have to get rid of it. Moving on.

Look at your greater goals. You may be in a position right now where you don't want to do pickup. What is your motivation for this. Your REAL motivation, not your conscious "I wanna fuck girls" motivation. A wing of mine said this once with such a straight-forward tone that I knew he didn't know why he was doing this. What do you want? Look at this deeply. Grow spiritually? Get experience? What?

You talk about the challenge being gone. This is an excuse. Not a conscious one, mind you, but I'm making you aware here. There will always be a challenge with every woman to get her into bed. It's never just that simple (sometimes, in rare cases, it really is) but most of the time it isn't. There is something deeper at work here.

You lose interest you say. Here's a tip: Alex from RSD has what he calls a "Statement of Motivation", something he does to remind him why he is gaming this one girl. He says this out loud to the girl. The statement of motivation is something like "I like your smell" or "You have great fashion". This is not a compliment or a "technique" to get her interested or anything, no. This is a statement to remind HIMSELF why he is gaming her, what he TRULY likes about her and why she is worth it. We all get bored from time to time. Reconnect with, or recognize a new connection with your desire. With your sexual desire. With your affectionate desire. With your desire for femininity. Reimagine this goal, spending the night with a girl, lying next to her, having great sex with her, wet pussy, sliding in and out, licking her out, making out with her tongue, wet and brushing up against your tongue passionately. Remember why you are doing this both in the short term and in the long term.

You are not regressing, you are progressing. You are at a road block, a plataeu of sorts where it seems you may be falling down but you are not, you can only go up. The only way is up. Fear not. Figure this out.

Thanks for all the replies. Appreciate it!

Rock Star, I've yet to just go out and try that but i'll try start from scratch with AA and see where it leads me. Thanks!

Hellhound, I do wake up with hard ons every now and then and I don't seem to be losing any noticable amounts of hair. My diet has changed a bit but generally for the better. I've been keeping in shape doing light weights, losing weight and cutting down on essentially all the crappy foods like chocolates and drinks like sodas. I pretty much only drink water unless it's the odd energy drink or alcohol when I head out.

Cybertiger, Perhaps you're right. I'm not entirely sure though. I have no problem getting in a relationship with a woman from a club or pub because you do come across quite a few women who would be girlfriend material out and about although it would be rare for them. A few of the women have fit that description while others were just typical party animals. Either way i've either screwed up with definite DTFs for one night stands(As original post) or just not gone up to the women who would be seen as more than just a fuck that were clearly into me.

Tr@veler, It's not new for women to approach me. Previously I would never make a move on a girl or push the envelope. All interactions and talks or interest levels had to come from the woman. Back then it was because I was shy and had confidence issues so it always ended up being a matter of a woman having to spell out that she clearly liked me and wanted me to kiss her for me to make a move. It was normally social settings where this happened(Such as in social groups, through friends of friends, etc.). I had only taken to going up to girls since getting into pick up but previous to that I wouldn't. I was one of the guys who would get a girlfriend probably once a year and be with them for six to nine months, mostly only if the woman showed interest in me first and made it clear.

Women showing massive interest like on nights out is actually new for me. It's a recent thing that I feel is down to forcing eye contact and IOIs. Having said that given the environment what you say is making a lot of sense. I do feel uncomfortable and get a bit anxious when they're so forward. I guess I feel a loss of control and on the defensive as I have to keep her interest high which in itself is a knock off balance.

Statement of Motivation sounds like something that may help if I am making up excuses and losing focus. My main goal for PUA was for the experience and being able to know what to do when I found a woman that interested me. Depending on the woman that would be purely sexual or something more.

I feel that Statement of Motivation may really help me out here and would work well in my game as I feel I have the frame and confidence to blatantly say something I like about a girl to her face without coming off as weak or needy.

You say you have to keep her interest high. Forget about interest. Forget about creating and keeping interest. Seriously. It is hindering you in everything. This is not the way to think because it is the wrong way to think. Why do you need to create interest? This by itself is saying that without "creating interest" you are not interesting enough. You as you are. Why do you have to do something to create interest? You are already enough. Instead of creating interest be arousing. Forget about creating or keeping attraction. You are already attractive as you are if you are hygienic, aren't a retard socially, aren't overweight, can speak properly. If you and a woman were all alone on an island at one point or another you two would be having sex. It's NATURE. Nature will take care of this aspect. You wouldn't have to create interest. You wouldn't have to do any of that shit. You'd just hang out with her and one night you'd be getting close to her and things would escalate. Why do you feel you have to suddenly do something special here? She's already interested and she'll stay interested. That's that, now focus on sticking around, making her feel comfortable around you, "adopting" her in a way, be physical, be leading. Lead. Focus on what matters. Forget this bullshit concept of creating attracting. She's already attracted by default. Therefore if you are already enough how can you ever be needy? You can't. You can do anything and everything and not be needy. This is the mindset you must come from, because it is true. It is a self fulfilling prophecy. Focus on leading. Being physical, moving towards your goal. That's it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16fe-ijc7zQ

That makes a lot of sense and really seems to slot a lot of things into perspective. I'm going to keep all what everyone said in mind and report back with my results!

Okay! I've been out a lot lately and not had much progress but feel i've found what the problem could be or parts of the problem.

Last night I went to a club, had a wing opening sets left, right and center and some with really attractive women. He opened a 2-set of HB8s -- super skinny, nice faces and bodies -- I went for the friend, shared maybe one or two sentences with her but instantly found myself turned off by her. She was hot and she seemed into me. She had this look about her when she seen me that showed she was interested and maybe a little shy. When I seen that I lost interest, backed away and started talking to her less attractive friend and ignored the skinny HB8. It was instant for me.

Is this a case of my screening going way out of control? Are my standards too high and specific? This brings me back to my original issue of blowing myself out or just not being interested.

Back to what Hellhound said earlier: I think there may be a drive issue here. It seems out of whack or i'm not pumping myself up for it before heading out. I'm missing the sexual drive behind the interaction, the lusting after a woman while i'm talking to her and because of that i'm losing interest fast and don't have a game plan(K-close, n-close, f-close). I find I basically get into an interaction with no real goal. Funny thing is I wake up horny as fuck after a night out.

On reflection i'm beginning to also realise that perhaps CyberTiger was spot on in that I want something of more substance and have a relationship. It would help explain why i'm screening like crazy and setting high standards for women to meet. In a club environment it's harder to really screen someone and get to know them, you've got a lot of face value to take here if you make an investment. I feel I understand a bit more the reasons behind women's shit tests now than I did before... It could literally be something so small as a single awkward twitch that will set you off someone. It's crazy!

It's apparent i'm lacking motivation here both in pick up and sexual interactions when i'm out and focusing more on screening than anything else.

What I think I should do:

1. Get motivated in Pick Up -- Read The Game or something similar to it again.
2. Get more sexually motivated before heading out -- More sexual energy gives more drive and clearer goals in your interactions.
3. Set goals for each set -- Do I want to talk to her? Do I want to kiss her? Do I want to bring her home? Goals are important as you have a clear path to walk along.

Any other tips? I really want to overcome this problem. I don't have the player frame of mind at all right now.

I've passed through the exact same stage around a month ago. It looked like I was playing TOO hard to get, but women who do not even know me came up to me and some of them said the exact same phrase "You're too much of a showoff". Playing hard to get is challenging and fun in the beginning, but don't keep doing it because it starts degrading other people's self-esteem and making them walk away from you after trying for a while. In other words, it starts to get boring once you keep at it.

I've managed to solve it when I realized that I needed to fuck more women, I need to break the world's record (trust me, it worked). Once I had that goal set in mind, I started feeling more aroused when I'm around girls because I wanted to fuck so badly and I started gaming with a goal in mind. Let's not mention that I got way much better and started escalating like a crazy motherfucker on girls I've just met, and they liked it so much that I'd get laid on the 1st to 2nd date tops.

That's just my story though, go ahead and try.