I was flirting with this girl, a HB 8 who has a boyfriend, in one of my classes today that I already knew as an extended aquantence (I've known her for a few years, but seldomly talked to her), but wanted to get some practice in. I was "passive arrogant", which apparently I'm decent at due to a past experiences; then again, maybe that was passive manipulation for those instances...

Anyway, I kept getting IOIs from this girl. She'd do the itching signals Mystery speaks of and actually commited slight kino with me by touching my arm and bracelet telling me it was nice. So I was replied, "Thanks... So are yours." Then she rooted through her purse to show me more bracelets she had so I said, "So I guess you like buying a ton of crap?" and a few other things dealing with her having so many bracelets, she laughed.

Then I began talking to her about random things, where she's going to go to college, a few minor things. Anyway, she turned away to talk to someone else, so I did the same (Cat-String Theory?) When she turned back around, I waited a few seconds and turned back to face her again.

We continued talking for a few more minutes until the end of class. Now, I KNOW I couldn't perfrom Kino in the middle of class, at least how we were situated and the nature of the room (very open, four seperate tables with no ledge). But, do you believe these were truly IOIs, or was I the only one flirting in this case?

My greatest fear has always dealt with kino and the fear of rejection involving it. That is my greatest fear, which causes fear of the approach because I dont' want to be placed in the dreaded "friend zone".

Thanks in advance ^^,
~ Novace[/u]

not to be mean budy, but grow some balls and just touch the girl. So many girls want to be touch, but not in a im horny and i want to get in your pants way. Also from what you told all she gave you was 1 IOI. Meaning an opener and conversation will go fine. Also only return IOI once they have been give.

I completely agree with you on that actually. You're not being mean ^^.

I just have this fear for some reason that I have to get over and I realize it. Finding how to do it is the fun part. I guess I just have to listen to that little voice in my head that said "fuck it!" when I went in for my first French Kiss and ended up making out for a few minutes.

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Also the animal tendencies (Mystery Method) don't count as IOIs?

If they do, I counted multiples:
1. A lot of Eye Contact
2. Head Scratch
3. Wrist Scratch
4. Interest in her voice

I'm sure there were more, but these were the most prominant to me.

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However, I could be missing the concept of the animal tendencies entirely and could be taking things that aren't IOIs as IOIs...

I'm eager to learn (almost) definate IOIs; I search the forums for a list or something.

Thanks for a fast response Green_Eyes! ^^
Although I KNOW I have to start getting some kino going with girls, I just dont' think it's a smart idea to do it in front of people that know her boyfriend. People are pretty snitchy in my school and there's NO way to hide it in the classroom I'm in. But, in the future (possibly with this girl) I'll follow that voice in my head again.

Any Second/3rd/etc. Opinions? Feedback's important to everyone ^^.
~ Novace

Yes, those animalistic tendencies are IOI's, this is true.

And, if you want to stay out of the friend zone, you HAVE to be kinoing, period. You say you're afraid to kino, because you're afraid of being put into the friend zone. Well, use the reverse logic of that, because THAT'S actually how it works.

Don't be afraid the kino will be rejected. A few women will reject it, this is true, but 99% of the women won't reject it, ESPECIALLY if you are comfortable enough with YOURSELF that kino is no big deal TO YOU.

lol, I worded that strangely... I meant I KNOW I have to Kino, but I lack confidence to (I'll practice and follow the "fuck it" voice).

Because I lack confidence with Kino, it messes with my early game. I dont' want to open to a HB and then just end up being friends because I lack confidence to use Kino.

That's what I was saying, sorry for any confusion.

I have a quick question: what would be a good exercise to get over this fear BESIDES the obvious "standard" procedures?

Novace, sorry for the misunderstanding.

Man, sorry, but the best way to break through this fear is to just do it, over and over and over. In fact, I would personally suggest that you START the interaction with kino. As in, while you say the first word, or even before you say the first word, toucher her shoulder with your hand. Something simple like that.

No Problem Man, and thanks for the idea. I was thinking of the "bump" method beforehand, but to me that's too aggressive to get an opener in. Touching her shoulder sounds great actually, taking a little step out of what I'm use to and I believe I can easily do that ^^.

Thanks again! I'll tell you how it goes ^^.
~ Novace

Good to hear man! I look forward to hearing back from you!