What I've learned from the PUA community as an introvert.



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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 7:10 am 
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What I've learned from my 10+ years in the seduction community as an introvert
(the entire title didn't fit in the subject line lol)

As an introvert, I used to have lots of issues making me utterly useless with women.

I've been actively learning and practicing (then, teaching) the pickup arts ever since I stumbled upon a provincial ebook in 2003. I've been obsessed with learning everything this community had to offer, but I've noticed many unsettling things.

For example, there's one consistent theme in all of the PUA material that I seemed to notice:

1. It was all for extroverts.

If you're brainwashed by the PUA community, you might think that introversion is a disadvantageous habit that needs to be corrected. PUA dogma dictates that, in order to be an attractive alpha male, one must conform to a rigid set of characteristics. You need to be outgoing. You need to be social as balls. You need to dominate conversations. You need to go to lots of parties and clubs. You need to approach tons of women.

It's great that pickup encourages prosocial behavior, but it's terrible how PUAs simply assume that introverts who don't conform to the "popular extrovert" lifestyle are doing something wrong.

I wanted to get good at this pickup stuff, so I sucked it up. I punished and suppressed my introverted side. It never left me, but I at least adapted to an extroverted lifestyle for a while.

I got used to clubbing. I learned how to have fun in a club. I had LOTS of fun with women in clubs, to say the least. Some of my most enjoyable hookups have been from clubs.

But I fucking hate clubbing.

Most of all, since I'm an introverted "indie" musician who's obsessed with Nine Inch Nails, it pisses me off to no end when I hear the garbage "music" that clubs are playing and promoting. Also, all of the nonstop stimulation inside the club is something I had to learn how to tolerate and wasn't something I naturally enjoyed.

However, getting heavily involved in pickup-related activities showed me some awesome new things. For example, I learned that:

2. There is a pretty big difference between introverts and extroverts.

First of all, introversion isn't just some fucking habit. I actually feel better and more energetic after I spend some time by myself. I'd much rather go to the gym alone rather than playing on a sports team, and it's not because of anything related to fear. It took me a long time to realize that there's nothing wrong with the way that I was. There's nothing wrong with being introverted.

There are many kinds of people in this world. Some are shorter (like me), and some are taller. Some are more creative and some are more academic. Some are more passionate and some are more apathetic. Some are more introverted and some are more extroverted.

Extroverts get all of the attention and praise in both mainstream society and in the pickup community, and the heavy promotion of extroverted behavior from pickup really reveals the stark differences between the naturally extroverted guy who pick up on all the material really fast and the introverted guy who takes some more time "in his head."

The de facto institutions set in place in pickup forums and places like this make it really hard for introverts to get anywhere. The way that the gurus teach pickup let extroverts excel A LOT just so they can say "Hey, look how great my student is doing! I must be an amazing teacher!" while they ignore the struggling introvert and accuse him of being a "Keyboard Jockey."

We demonize introverts, so they're pretty damn easy to spot in pickup communities.

And, since we demonize introversion in general, I took a really damn long time to get good at what I do since I was fighting my inherent nature at the same time. I'm really good at pickup now, but it's been a goddamn DECADE.

I eventually realized that introversion is a natural part of who I am and that it's not a bad thing at all. It doesn't have to be a disadvantage in pickup. On the contrary:

3. Introversion can actually be an advantage in pickup.

After I got good at pickup, dating, seduction, etc., I was able to bend the rules to make pickup work for me in whatever ways I wanted to. It's because, even though I went about it in a really roundabout way, I mastered the fundamentals.

So I slowly discovered the shortcuts to make seduction work for introverts and - believe me - seduction can work REALLY friggin' well for us introverts.

For example, a lot of introverted guys have this small limiting belief that they suck at talking to women, but once that limiting belief is taken care of with a little bit of inner game maintenance, we can craft incredible conversations on the spot with women because of our natural tendency to be better at active listening than our extroverted counterparts.

There needed to a voice to represent and guide the introverts in the seduction community. There needed to be a resource tailored specifically to help introverts.

So, I decided to be that voice. I decided to make that resource.

I've prepared a small presentation about this new program I made called Seductive Introvert. It's the biggest and greatest thing I've ever made. I always tried to write ebooks and make PUA training programs like this before, but I always gave up in the middle because I kept finding better material that catered to the extroverts like I had been trying to do.

If you're an introvert, I hope you appreciate this work I've created. Watch this when you have about 10 minutes to kill:

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 8:30 am 
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good shit! I feel like I can relate in a way. I used to go clubbing just to pick up girls but I hate the club too. Although I guess I acted kinda extroverted to go get my girlfriend I'd say we're both introverts.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 8:32 pm 
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I am a weird combination of introvert and extrovert, we can call me "a social introvert" - I have no problems talking to people, but I prefer being alone and I don't like people in general (they really have to prove themselves to me). So I can definitvely relate to this! Great stuff!


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 9:32 pm 
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I hope i will not get banned for this but, well you promise a lot and you talk a lot but you do not rely put out any concrete info, what is your theory based on, who are your students, a couple of names or quotes would be nice. I am not doubting your skills as PUA but honestly, if i did not know you from before i would have closed your ad 2 minutes in just because i would think you are trying to scam me, that seems to be problem with most PUA ads out there, they seem to be doing the exact same thing as the rest of the online sellers, and in doing so fall right in the "trying to get into my wallet" category, even if their stuff is actually good. As far as i know it was always a way of PUA to stick out from the crowd, do something different. Just my 0.02$


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 20, 2013 4:52 am 
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I hope i will not get banned for this but, well you promise a lot and you talk a lot but you do not rely put out any concrete info, what is your theory based on, who are your students, a couple of names or quotes would be nice. I am not doubting your skills as PUA but honestly, if i did not know you from before i would have closed your ad 2 minutes in just because i would think you are trying to scam me, that seems to be problem with most PUA ads out there, they seem to be doing the exact same thing as the rest of the online sellers, and in doing so fall right in the "trying to get into my wallet" category, even if their stuff is actually good. As far as i know it was always a way of PUA to stick out from the crowd, do something different. Just my 0.02$
First of all, why the hell would you be banned for questioning anyone's marketing practices?

Second of all, I know exactly what you mean.

I used to be cynical about all the marketing bullshit, too. I've always been focused on creating meaningful content and actually helping others in meaningful ways. And I got really really good at getting great results as a PUA and especially as a teacher of this stuff. When it comes to marketing, however, it's just not my thing.

Last night, I thought long and hard about what I was doing. I was trying to emulate other successful marketers in order to sell myself, but marketing is really not my world. Yeah, if anyone was actually convinced to subscribe to my program from the current video sales letter I have up right now, they will definitely be glad to see that the program is actually amazing, but the fact of the matter remains that my current sales video SUCKS.

My sales video sucks because I refused to put in lies like "OTHER PUA GURUS HATE ME FOR TEACHING THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK" and "THIS VIDEO IS ONLY GOING TO BE UP FOR TODAY." Since I tried to avoid any lies my current sales video comes across as weak as fuckall. I suck at marketing because I always took a more honest approach in life. My approach to pickup is certainly an honest one; I never lie to women (with the exception of "We're not having sex tonight - it's too soon!"). Last night I realized that I shouldn't be competing in the same way all of the dishonest marketers compete.

I'm going to make a new video with a more genuine, content-filled approach and replace my current video with that.

Thanks for your feedback.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 20, 2013 8:57 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
I hope i will not get banned for this but, well you promise a lot and you talk a lot but you do not rely put out any concrete info, what is your theory based on, who are your students, a couple of names or quotes would be nice. I am not doubting your skills as PUA but honestly, if i did not know you from before i would have closed your ad 2 minutes in just because i would think you are trying to scam me, that seems to be problem with most PUA ads out there, they seem to be doing the exact same thing as the rest of the online sellers, and in doing so fall right in the "trying to get into my wallet" category, even if their stuff is actually good. As far as i know it was always a way of PUA to stick out from the crowd, do something different. Just my 0.02$
First of all, why the hell would you be banned for questioning anyone's marketing practices?

Second of all, I know exactly what you mean.

I used to be cynical about all the marketing bullshit, too. I've always been focused on creating meaningful content and actually helping others in meaningful ways. And I got really really good at getting great results as a PUA and especially as a teacher of this stuff. When it comes to marketing, however, it's just not my thing.

Last night, I thought long and hard about what I was doing. I was trying to emulate other successful marketers in order to sell myself, but marketing is really not my world. Yeah, if anyone was actually convinced to subscribe to my program from the current video sales letter I have up right now, they will definitely be glad to see that the program is actually amazing, but the fact of the matter remains that my current sales video SUCKS.

My sales video sucks because I refused to put in lies like "OTHER PUA GURUS HATE ME FOR TEACHING THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK" and "THIS VIDEO IS ONLY GOING TO BE UP FOR TODAY." Since I tried to avoid any lies my current sales video comes across as weak as fuckall. I suck at marketing because I always took a more honest approach in life. My approach to pickup is certainly an honest one; I never lie to women (with the exception of "We're not having sex tonight - it's too soon!"). Last night I realized that I shouldn't be competing in the same way all of the dishonest marketers compete.

I'm going to make a new video with a more genuine, content-filled approach and replace my current video with that.

Thanks for your feedback.
Oh, i was just half serious with that first line, as for the rest of your post i salute you, it takes a great man to not be attached to things you do and actually see where you did wrong, actually if i was not broke i would most likely take your course even tough i am thoroughly enjoining being an extrovert since i joined PUA so i guess i was always a closet extrovert.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 21, 2013 4:24 pm 
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blackdragon is an INTJ and some of his content focuses on the introvert.

Im an INTJ also and find alot of the PUA mantra doesnt fit. Im intelligent and free thinking so I just used what I felt applied to me. I should admit that my I/E are close. When I was younger I had great outbursts of being an extrovert. I think its a huge advantage to be extroverted but sometimes its just too draining or Ive lost my interest as I age.

I commend you for looking at a hugely overlooked aspect of PUA!

_________________
My personal mantra:

"Every woman's a whore in the right situation"
"They're all selling it for something"
"She's sluttier than you think she is"


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