quick question about eye contact



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PostPosted: Tue Dec 17, 2013 9:56 pm 
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let's say you are at a coffeeshop and there are 2 HBs sitting at the next table. you start a conversation with them. Do you address/look at just one of them throughout the whole conversation, or do you keep going back and forth between the 2?

For me, going back and forth feels very uncomfortable and weird. I have done it and I feel like I am looking like a weirdo.
but looking at one of them throughout seems kind of rude, the other one might think you are ignoring her?

Which one looks more natural, to keep eye contact with just one throughout the whole thing, or to look at one of them for a few seconds, look at the other one for a few seconds, then look at the first one again for a few second?

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 1:33 am 
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You have to know what your FRAME at the beginning is. Are you going up to talk to just one girl? Or going up to talk to both of them? It is usually easier to just set the frame verbally from the beginning - "Hey I thought your friend here was cute, do you mind if I steal her attention for two minutes?" but you can obviously also talk to both of them. In either case it will be natural if the frame is set. There is nothing "natural" just by default, things are always in context, in a frame. So set your frame and you are good to go.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 1:46 am 
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Quote:
You have to know what your FRAME at the beginning is. Are you going up to talk to just one girl? Or going up to talk to both of them? It is usually easier to just set the frame verbally from the beginning - "Hey I thought your friend here was cute, do you mind if I steal her attention for two minutes?" but you can obviously also talk to both of them. In either case it will be natural if the frame is set. There is nothing "natural" just by default, things are always in context, in a frame. So set your frame and you are good to go.
OK, in this case, I am talking about just socializing. let's say the two girls are acting out a scene and I start talking about how I also took some acting classes and build it from there.
just socializing, nothing sexual (yet?)

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 2:03 am 
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You're overanalyzing. What do you do with your friends?


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 4:26 am 
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totally make eye contact with both of them and try to include both of them in conversation. if the one starts looking away or isn't paying attention to you, then you can focus on the other one, but until then, be ALL inclusive.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 8:36 am 
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BOTH. When you approach any group you need to give the whole group your attention until you decide to pull off your target to the side.

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