Hey guys this is a bit of a different question, but I was hoping I could get some advice anyway. Here's the story I've been friends with this guy that I box with for a long time had his back through thick and thin there wasn't a time he needed help that I didn't help him. Anyway as of the past year he's gotten to be rather big headed, a few weeks ago I needed a ride somewhere he said he couldn't. I've got a big fight coming up he said he'll help me train and hold pads for me hasn't shown up for that even though I've helped get him ready for his fights before and cornered for him. Back before any of this happened I went to a meet and greet and got Canelo to sign a poster for him, because he's a fan and I said I would, poster was expensive as hell, but I said I'd get him an autograph so I kept my word. He's moving away next month. The other day I go in the change room see his locker's. Cleaned out and there's the poster crumpled up at the bottom of the locker along with some garbage that's kinda stung a bit, but oh well. Anyway another good friend of mine was like don't worry about it man I'll help you get ready for your fight, and he's been there everyday. He was in the change room when I found the poster he's like that sucks man I'm sorry about that I just said don't be. Now when this guy moves away its likely I'll never see him again so here's my question should I try and patch things up or say fck it you don't deserve to be my friend and just be thankful for the new friends I have? I know I'm the only one that can decide that, but I just wondered what others would do in my situation. Thanks.

It is a bit hard to read when there is no paragraphs so please remember to add those when you write Makes it easier for your brothers here at the forum to respond!

Okay, so he is moving away you say and it is likely that you will never see him again?

If that is the case, my advice to you is to get closure on this friendship! Tell him the stuff you have told us, and say to him that you would like to part ways as friends.

I have personally had some "friends" move away with whom I didn't have a good relationship to in the end, but when I get closure and talk to them and patch things up, I feel better about myself and that is the priority here. Do it for yourself, not for him.

Let me know what you decide and how that works out!

Sincerely
A

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Thanks a lot for the advice. Sorry about the spacing I'm partially dyslexic so punctuation, spacing is a little harder for me, but I'm working on it. Its just a weird situation I never did anything to him. He just got so big headed that I had a hard time tolerating him, and he turned out to be unreliable so I just thought I'm gonna back away before I get mad. Anyway I saw on fb there's a going away party for him. I haven't got an invite yet maybe I won't get one, but I figure if I do I'll go patch things up for my own closure if I don't well I guess I'll just leave it at that and carry on. I never really paid much thought to it until I saw the poster that was a little bit upsetting.

I say you call him out on the poster... it's a bit dramatic to end a friendship over something like that though. And you can call him out on his attitude too... always from a position of helping him though... just my opinion.

Thanks for your advice! I wouldn't make a big scene about calling him on the poster, but at the same time I don't think I would be completely out of line by doing so either. The thing with his attitude is he's done well lately and is on a real high horse, but he's also naïve and I've been around the game longer then he has and my advice has served him well on a couple occasions. So giving him an attitude check might be for his own good. The thing that pisses me off is I know I got straight up used I did work on his car free of charge helped him out because I thought we were friends and if I needed anything he would help me out. Now I have a fight coming up and he can't even be bothered to show up and hold pads like he said he would, but I guess such is life I'm smarter for it.

I'd call him out on the poster. I would have done it the moment I saw it. That represents a lot of work on your end. On the other hand, why are you doing so much and expecting things in return? It's hard to tell if it's his attitude that needs adjusting or yours. When you do things for a friend you do them for the friend. If you said that he's supposed to help you out for doing that then that's fine, but you sound like you did these things to get reciprocation and he had no idea. Did you communicate this stuff to him in an explicit way?

I know what your saying. I helped him out just because that's what I do for my friends at the time when I fixed his car he asked how much he owed me I said tell you what help me get ready for my next fight and we'll call it even. Just to make it clear when I do help out a friend I don't do it so I have something to hold over them, but at the same time I like to think that by me helping them that when I need help they would help me out. As far as the poster goes I haven't seen him since that. Its worth mentioning that twice he said he would help me train for this fight I'm 2 weeks out and I haven't seen him once. My last post wasn't as detailed as it should of been hopefully that clears it up a bit, but I do appreciate your input.

I know this is an old thread, but I wanted to post an update. I've been working a lot on self improvement In general. I went to his going away party had a great time shot the shit like old times knocked back a few shots. I put everything I was angry about behind me, and decided to put what I've learned over the last couple months to use, and I feel great about it we're going to get some beers before he leaves. I just feel like a better man for being able to do what I did. Had this been 6 months or a year ago I wouldn't have been able to put my anger to rest, and bury the hatchet I guess you'd say.