Met a girl on OKCupid, had first date with her at the end of which she said "I could kiss her on the cheek if I wanted." I kissed her on the cheek, then said she could kiss me on the lips if she wanted... to which she replied maybe next time.

So waited a day then texted to set up second date, had some scheduling issues and it took two weeks... but went out tonight. It seemed like we were having fun, I was doing some kino... arm around her and stuff. Get back to her place and she tells me she isn't really attracted to me but would love to do things as friends. So... ouch. I think she could see the disappointment on my face, but I tried to play it off like it was no big deal.

Here's the thing though, I kind of need a "win." I've been going through a messy breakup with my girlfriend, haven't gotten laid in months and I'm still pretty terrible at actually picking girls up. So I'd really like to turn things around with this girl if that's possible.

The confusing part is she implied an impending second date kiss, so one might think she was at least "on the fence" about attraction. Maybe I just screwed something up tonight? She didn't pull away at all from kino, and even moved her chair closer to me at one point although I think she was trying to get a better view of the stage.

I think I'm bad at building attraction and sexual tension in general, so not sure what I should do. So is there any way to turn a situation like this around?

You've been friendzoned, man. The best thing to do is to move on. It's a win-win situation. Either the girl gets jealous and confesses she has feelings for you and/or you meet a new, awesome girl.

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Take intelligent risks and you will find the opportunities that others miss.

You're still in that relationship mood by which you stick to one girl and keep trying. Always diversify and game other girls, don't focus on just one at a time. Keep her freezed out a bit while you game other girls then ask her out and escalate more. If it doesn't work, just move on since it's still early and I see it's the best option.

I haven't stopped trying to game other girls, like I said before I'm just not good at it (yet.)

Right now the plan is to text her "good luck on your interview" on Monday then drop it entirely unless she brings up getting together. My guess is she won't though. (Added difficulty: she's polyamorous and already has a boyfriend and another guy she's seeing. ) We're also pretty much never going to run into each other unless I ask her, which seems like it would feel kind of like a date.

Saw one thread somewhere where sometimes girls do this as kind of a shit test, so maybe I should just give it some time then ask her to hang out... and in the meantime really work on attraction building.

Or, like you said, just drop it... I just was looking forward to f-closing with her soon and hearing I wasn't attractive to her kinda shook my confidence last night.

This ^^^^


That's why you'll hear "GFTOW" or Go Fuck/Find Ten Other Women. Stop caring so much.

I've been trying to "fuck ten other women" for the last 8 months, and this is the closest I've gotten.

You need to escalate bro, take the frame straight away and push/pull then sweep her off her feet. Don't ask a girl anything about kissing her just do it.

Friend zone is a one way street.

LOL fair point. Then here.... stop using online dating to meet women. Go out and meet them. The same amount of time you spend using online dating, you can go out and meet people.

I do, but I've only managed to get dates through online. Every approach I've made in person has gone nowhere.
Not really, I only do the online thing while I'm working so it doesn't take any time at all away from other activities.

Kind of getting away from the topic here though... I'm not really in the "friend zone" I'm just in the "she's not attracted" to me zone. I think this early there might be a way to turn that around WHILE I keep gaming other girls.