Hey guys,

I'm new to this community and I am slowly start to rethink everything I knew before. I read some stuff, but I know I have a looong way to go.

Right now I am facing a challenge and I don't have enough knowledge or experience to handle this. Before I start describing my problem, I should mention I am also a late bloomer, whit little experience with women.

There is a girl I find very attractive and we know each other now for 3 years, but there were quite many flirty moments via phone, fb and in person. And the flirty stuff goes for one week and then for few weeks nothing. Lately, the last 2 months we are flirting more than before, but the problem is, that she is not taking me seriously, which she also told me. And know I don't really know if she really likes me or if she is playing with me...There is another problem. When we are alone we cant talk normaly. There is a tension between us and I think she is then nervous too! So far we've been only on one drink, which was nothing special, because we weren't relaxed. What should I do now?

I also have never teld her how i feel about her..should I be now honest and straight to her?

sounds like the problem im going through now......it happened to me alot actually and i noticed its basically a test......basically she doesn't know if she likes you or should out u in the friendzone, shes trying to see if its something different about you that she finds attractive and worth her time....i know it sucks but so does life.........my advice to you is up the ante, don't go for broke tho....simply do more flirting, try to be funnier, and compliment her a little more, also be more of an asshole (or neg) her more......but do not go for broke which means, trying to hard to be funny, complimenting her all the time, and flirting tooo much, also don't try to sell your self......

and do not do what comes natural if it sounds wrong, alot of guys will tell you to do what comes natural and end up being stalkers.....

and another thing, look for other women, if you really like her thats fine but have a back up....never mind have a couple back ups, never focus on one girl unless you're COMPLETELY sure it's the one and even then have friends cause trust me as much as it hurts you are not the only guy she does this to, you might be her favortie but you are not the only one...remember every girl even ugly girls have multiple dudes approach them every day, but you have to make her get to the point where she denies them for you


and when all else fail just look at james bond lol

_________________
"My understanding of women only goes as far as the pleasure. When it comes to the pain I'm like any other bloke - I don't want to know."-Alfie

First of all dont tell her your "real feelings of love" or whatever. Play it cool, thats a chump AFC move. Secondly you are trying to make a new impression on a girl you have known a very long time and has a well defined set of feelings about you. Its highly unlikely she is going to change how she perceives you. I wouldn't get my expectations up or waste too much time on this girl.

Now here is the part that is going to help you the most which you will likely ignore: You need to be pursuing other woman early and often, your problem is scarcity. You need to be prospecting new chicks and looking for ones that are compliant and interested in you. If they are not interested, as this chick isn't, then its a bad prospect and move on. The dynamic of the game is such that uninterested/unattracted girls dont normally become attracted despite your best efforts and honest desires. That's just how it works, know this, and move forward.

Steps on getting out of the friend zone (taken from Heartiste):

1. Knock her out of her comfort zone with a surprise flirtatious, chill vibe. Don’t overextend this. Too much shock to her system will drive her into a cocoon. You want to give her a small buzz, not an electric storm that immediately activates her anti-beta male, egg-preserving bitch shield.

2. After your flirty expectation sabotage, promptly pull back into friend mode as if nothing unusual happened. Your goal is to strike a hot iron at the girl’s subconscious without alerting her conscious awake state. If she calls you out on your flirt, act like she’s weird for bringing it up. “I hope you don’t get the wrong idea” is a great line to drop at that moment.

3. Leave her on a good (i.e. congruent) note. But leave her for at least two weeks. During the interim, if your LJBF is strong, she will attempt to contact you asking why, as a friend, you’ve been incommunicado. Again, chastise her for being needy, and tell her you’ve been busy. Do not explain yourself beyond that.

4. Meet her again. Repeat the above three steps, with the exception that you will amp up the intensity and frequency of your sexual, aloof vibe each new time you hang out with her. You are in the process of acclimating her to your new, sexual self.

5. You can speed up the process by actively flirting with other girls in her field of view. Jealousy is the most powerful hacksaw against the chains of the friendzone.

6. When enough time has passed, and your shift from asexual lump to cocky bastard is almost complete, drop the following line on her (with brow deviously furrowed in deep, phony concern): “You’ve been flirting like crazy. I think we should be apart for a while so we don’t risk our friendship.” Wham. Game dynamite with the fuse attached right to her brain's frontal lobe. You’ve implied she’s falling for you, you’ve disqualified yourself by insisting that you need time away from her, and you’ve flipped the script so that any further interaction would require some amount of chasing by her.

7. If she agrees with you, admit defeat (to yourself) and move on. The FRIENDZONE was too powerful to overcome. If you have made an impact on her perception of you, her attitude will be different. She will act confused, half-heartedly agreeing only as a default response with nothing better to say, or disagreeing in mild protest. “Nooo, I’m not flirting with you.” (The very act of verbalizing this will put her in a chaser frame of mind.) Or: “Nooo, we can still be friends.” Either way, insist that you’re right to spend time apart until “the heat cools off”. But if she can “control herself around you”, you might be OK with hanging with her some more.

8. Immediately and forcefully move the conversation away from the drama that just went down. Act like she’s a girl you just met. Gauge for positive reception. If she attempts to pull you back into a friendship frame, the attitude you want to avoid is sounding resentful. She’s testing you for congruency with your new identity. A funny quip like “Oh, man, it’s just not the same anymore. I already miss the old you” should do the trick to pass her test. Again, hit on another girl in front of her. Leave her prematurely.

9. At some point you’ll have to make a bold move for her vagina. This is when verbal game stops and physical game revs into high gear. A lot of recovering beta males make the mistake of letting the attraction and comfort phase of pickup drag on too long, for fear of losing the good feelings they are engendering in the woman to a sloppy bedroom move. “You’ve never seen this part of my life” is a great line to use on a former FRIENDZONE to persuade her to come to your place. It ignites a sense of wonder in her that she will presume is missing with a man she (thinks she) knows very well.

_________________
The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek

Golden advice. That is the foundation of the game right there. Adopting the abundance model solves so many issues and creates a more vibrant, exciting and option-filled life of adventure.

Thanks all for the help!
Well since i'm interested in that girl I was with two other (kiss closure both). It's not like am pursuing only her, but I know she is quite different from others. She is a bit crazy on her own way and that makes me quite curious how it would be to have sex with her and maybe a relationship. But I don't want to talk about the future, since it is so unclear with her...
I know that things, but there is something in when we are together..It is really hard to be talkative, funny.


I just remember is, I had like 2-3 weeks ago a small flirt going on with a girl over the phone. We were sending each other quite a lot messages during the day and even when I was hanging out with that girl and other friends at college..she was quite curious who that girl is, and for those few days I think I was more interesting to her and when I stopped with that girl over the phone, I think she lost some interest with me..should I try something like this again to make her a little jelaous and then take advantage of the situation and actually do something that will take me further?