I'm about to go in depression... I've been feeling like utter shit for over 3 years because of my failures with women. The more I think about it, the worse it gets. So I tried to forget about them for a while, then all I see are friends hooking up and couples everywhere. I often just cut myself off from everyone and everything and just workout and scream outside when no one's around specifically because of this depression...

Just this week, I was talking to 3 girls I met recently, 2 online and 1 in real life. I flirted and had the entire interaction smooth out very well, but when it came down for each of them to meet, none of them responded, picked up their phone or showed up. They would reply any day of the week but the day we were supposed to meet. And that was Wednesday, Friday and today (Saturday).... Don't know if I'm just wasting my time or if I'll stay like this forever, but I can't get it right, I don't know what I'm doing wrong and even when they like me and keep complimenting me and flirting back, it STILL flops...

The worst thing is, when I read about all these tips and guides on forums and pua sites about how you should go about getting women, it contradicts with my very core because I can't seem to pull alot of those simply because I'm nice deep inside, I even have trouble negging. I can't seem to get them right because it goes against who I am. And I hate who I am because this is why I'm failing so hard...

Can someone tell me how or why do they flake in the last minute? They don't even reply back afterwards either... It's like I wasted my fucking time, but I don't know what to do anymore, I honestly just get so mad at myself I just mutilate anything and everything and end up in horribly depressed moods... Whenever I'm not feeling too much like this is at the gym... Just what the fuck am I doing wrong...

Take a look at my online dating profiles to see if you can at least spot something utterly wrong that I could probably trace back to myself in real life...

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=65065663
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Amine9876

_________________
If you don't go after what you want. You will never have IT.
If you don't ask. The answer will always be NO.
If you don't step forward. You will always be in the same PLACE.

I honestly have no real answer to fix your problem because I am in the same boat, and I wonder if there actually is a right or wrong answer.
When I signed up for this forum and I was watching the videos of PUA's it all looked awesome and I knew I could break my barrier wall to get out and approach girls etc, and I did this with gradual success even online.
But the problem is not within yourself its to do with how the girls in your country socialise and react etc etc, because not all women are the same when it comes to being approached or how they get treated to the tests they perform on you.
About 2 months ago I stumbled apon a girl on a dating site who had all the same interests as me and when we met up for dates we clicked on so well, I didn't want to over do it jump in too quick or get excited about it all because I had been the track of so many girls with failure on dates etc.
I was so sure for the first time ever I began thinking of her being a potential partner in the future which is rare for me, but one day 30 minutes before she was meant to be meeting me I got a text to say she just wanted to keep it as friends and we shouldn't go any further because of things going on in her life shes not her self blah blah it was the usual lame excuses I hear day in and out from girls and her way of dropping me without telling me straight up.
I was annoyed at the time but I was nice about it all and accepted it, I havnt contacted her since that was 4 weeks ago.
Since then I now have this no give a shit vibe my attitude has changed and I fear I may loose any real feeling or trust I have for girls again, but my not giving a shit attitude is getting me further than before.
As they say " treat em mean keep em keen " by not being mr nice guy all the time gets you much further well to an extent anyway.
My outlook now is to just go out and have fun be casual, its sad because that seems to be the situation out there now and I feel that when we see these surposed bad boys the girls go for I reackon a good majority of those guys were nice like us once and have changed because girls have played them.
I am not saying all girls are nasty but some just don't treat guys right, then they complain where are all the nice guys out there... well its a vicous cycle aint it love.
It sounds awful I don't want to be like this but its where I am now, one day someone will walk into my life who is right for me but until then I am an asshole lol

I sense a lot of self pity in your post - and that's supremely anti-seductive.
You can can stay in your comfort zone and cling to your self image of a nice guy. You will get what you've been getting. Maybe if you supplicate enough, someone desperate enough will finally date you. Wish you the best of luck.

or

You can also suck it up and build yourself an attractive personality and an interesting life style. The guy women wold stand in line to meet - a person who they will be happy to keep around and introduce to their friends.

How?

1.Write out who you are as a person.
2. Write out what kind of guy a woman of quality would DIE to meet.
3. See any gaps? Work on that.

Al

Of course there's self-pity, I hit rock bottom. I'm surprised there even is pity at all.

I don't like being in my comfort zone. And I'm not clinging to my self image of a nice guy, but it just seems sometimes as if the things I do go against who I am, not "as a nice guy", just me in general, like I'll find them harsh, or do them but in a gentler way, which is then pointless.

I guess its the idea of me being the guy women would stand in line to meet that's hard to believe. I personally don't see that anywhere, and I've yet to actually SEE someone get this crazy success with women from the things I'm trying to learn which is pick-up..

I guess I'll try that.

But all the gaps take a huge amount of time to close... Not effort-wise, just in general, they take a long time.. Like body, work, money and practice with women.

_________________
If you don't go after what you want. You will never have IT.
If you don't ask. The answer will always be NO.
If you don't step forward. You will always be in the same PLACE.

That's pretty much how I feel... Like I hate women, not literally because then I'd be the opposite of someone who wants to be a PUA, but this feeling in me, that makes me feel like nobody wants me, its the worst. No matter how hard I've tried, I can't seem to make it work... And I'm not even hideous, I don't get it. I'm just becoming sick of life. I'm angry at myself, at women, at the way all of this works, and I'm mostly angry that I can't seem to get it right...

My city's boring as fuck, the women here interact like shit, its like everyone's shy or awkward, the only place and time you'll find outgoing people is in clubs/downtown at night...

As for the girl you described, its the exact same with me, I met this girl on PoF last week, we clicked so well, everything went smooth, it was insane how much we had in common, I got her number without even trying, just sent a one liner when I wanted it. Texted for a couple of days, she has 2 jobs and goes to school so she's really busy, but never fails to reply, she even drunk texted me once, and we always kept flirting, even about the things we'd do when we meet. Then when it came to the day to meet up, 100% flop, didn't reply to texts, didn't pick up her phone and didn't show up where we said we'd meet.

Almost the 100% exact fucking same with the 2nd girl I met online.

As for the one in real life, we didn't click as much as the other two but she pulled the same shit as well.

I don't want to be this guy that just loses all feeling and trust and just doesn't give a shit and just becomes the most independent asshole on Earth. I'm a romantic guy, I'm caring, I'm kind to people and things and I like being at peace with myself. But the more I find women I'm attracted to and I get rejected, ignored or stood-up, the more I want to become like this asshole I don't want to be, but now its looking like its my only way to actually get laid or get anything for that matter.

I'm starting to think that this "one day" someone will walk into my life who is right for me will come, I'll be far too detached and insensible to even appreciate it, I'll feel like taking revenge, and I'll end up just playing all the women I end up with.

_________________
If you don't go after what you want. You will never have IT.
If you don't ask. The answer will always be NO.
If you don't step forward. You will always be in the same PLACE.

I feel you bro... I think i'm the best suited to give an advice as 4 years ago i was the same as you and even worse...

Let me tell you about how I was, I used to fear hurting people, couldn't even criticize someone let alone a girl! it just goes against my principles and I was like this all of my life... Mr nice guy. yeah everyone liked me but the same as you no one was really interested in me, I failed to show something interested... then i came across the PUA community and it opened my eyes... I worked to change myself into the person I want to be and over the course of the past years i transformed from a clueless weak guy to a guy who others actually came up to and asked "how can we be like you?" and I started a date coaching business in my home town.

First when i came across the community and read about it I realized one thing... people like those who disagree with them, not all the time but some of it, why? because its not that they will think "this guy disagrees with me, fuck him". its the opposite, they get the impression that YOU have YOUR opinion and firmly grounded, which in itself implies dependability and any dependable person attracts people around him.

so my first advice is disagree when you feel like it, be honest and dont just go with the flow. second would be that the main switch of attraction is social proof... and it works to attract girls and to make guys want to befriend you, make them want to go out with you in your social circle. basically its that you show everyone you know, specially girls, that you have other stuff to do, other friends to go out with... she is not your life she is just a PART of your life and a small one at the beginning, and nothing more.

so ALWAYS make sure to come across as too busy with your life and not always free, let them be in place of waiting for you to be free not the other way around.

what I did to get rid of my "nice" side was to actually suck it up and started negging, and found out girls actually laughed and weren't insulted... yes it was hard at the beginning but after a while you notice that this is how you are supposed to be and I wasn't changing myself, I was fixing myself, making myself better. think of it like working out in the gym... you're building your muscles and in this case you are building your inner strength.

so what i'm saying is, dont be an asshole, but be you! disagree when you dont like something, make fun of her like she is one of your guy friends... an example from my own life is this german girl i met a month ago, we're good friends and guess what I tease her with? the nazis! and believe me another guy tried it on her and she got angry but when i did it she didn't, why? its all in tone of your voice and your smile... and if things get bad I just put them in the corner and ask her "did you really take that seriously? cant you be fun?" and they will always say "of course not!" to show that they are strong and not weak, and with this i got the green light

just try it next time you meet a new girl... think of her as one of the guys you know, a close friend who wouldn't mind being made fun of and do it... they like it.

You need to work on your belief system. Try these on for size:
First, someone can do it, so can you. Whatever got you to this point in life will not get you where you want to go. Buckle up and study success, follow the process and you will get there

Second, believe you can or believe you can not.... either way you are right. That's pretty self explanatory.

Third, you are a highly fluid concept (Ross). That means you can change at any time at will. Make your changes consciously and for the better.

Fourth, There is no growth in your comfort zone - that's the place where you rot. When you get out of that comfort zone, you begin to grow. The further you push, the faster you improve.

Al

HEY AFCAL I REALLY DIG THE FOURTH I COPIED IT AND PUT IT ON MY DOOR. GONNA TRY AND LIVE LIFE WITH THE FOUTH IN MIND ALWAYS.

Your profile comes across as tryhard. It's basically a bunch of statements that you don't really mean.

If you say you're awesome, don't quote a bunch of made-up statistics. Say you were a prodigy and won the Loebner prize at the age of 16 (or whatever is actually awesome about yourself).

Your first three profile pics are good. The last two are not.

Flaking is usually due to attraction/comfort issues. On first plans, flaking is usually caused by comfort issues, but in your case, I think it's attraction - girls are attracted to the idea of hugging you but don't see it as worth really going on a date.