Hello!
Long story short: My friend dated a girl, she had a very beautiful friend and a double date was arranged. We met a couple of times(the 4 of us) and had alot of fun(and got very drunk), i didnt do any "moves" and of course ended up in the friend zone. I asked her on facebook for a date(i knew it was a long shot when i did it) and got the answer: "Fizk, i really like you, as a friend". I really wanted this girl but relized I wasnt able to get her without some skills. I started to read a little in this forum and this one-itis stuff hit me like a cannon in the heart.

This experience was like a wake up call for me. I stopped to snusa(tobacco u put under the top lip, very common in Sweden) 14 days ago, i signed up with a gym 6 days ago and been there 3 times so far. I also have been spending more time with school work and also playing alot more poker, which is my source of income. I am trying to improve every aspect of my life.
Maybe the most important change i have decided to do: I will learn how to get the hottest girls and I really think i can do it, i see myself as good looking and out going. Not uncommon that i am the center of attention at a party. I am also able to talk to women in partys and so on, but not seduce them.

After reading some here at the forum i decided that the style "natural" is the way i will go.

Today I started my journey for real, i went to a shopping mall in Stockholm to try out "The Newbie Mission" the-newbie-mission-vt41556.html .
I didnt think it would be very hard, but it was. It took a long time before i said my first "Hi".
The hardest thing for me was getting eye contact, and I relized the smile is very important otherwise the eye contact gets very short. I tried for a while saying Hi to girls without having eye contact, that didnt work very well because they didnt relize i was saying hi to them
The result of today is: Got eyecontact(some short, some longer) with maybe 8 girls, said hi to 4 of them, got 2 normal smiles and 1 real smile back and of them said hi back. The times when i managed to get eye contact and said hi a happy feeling spread like crazy in my body, it was a amazing feeling.
I see today as a decent start, far from success but not a total fail either. Next time i will really try harder to smile when looking for eye contact, and maybe pick a better day, payday is at monday in Sweden so not alot of girls in the mall today. I will do this a couple of more times to get 100% comfortable approaching women in daylight sober.

Hopefully i can continue with the newbie mission tomorrow, otherwise i will very soon!
Laters!

Hey bro, keep it up! It's really a great feeling when you can start approaching and talking to women. Keep posting! I look forward to following your journey.

Thx! I just read your FR's from daygame(since daygame is what i will do) and you make it sound so easy approaching. I long for me to get to the point of actually talking to the women too

NICE! You have no idea how many guys *never* get to this point. Once you start having convos, it gets easier from there. You're almost there.

Thank you very much for the encouraging words!
The plan was to go out today and do the same thing as yesterday, although due to me stopped "snusa" i have sleeping problems and didnt want to go out meeting girls while feeling like a dead person
But i have decided to not do the newbie mission anymore, i will go to town, look for alone girls that are not walking and approach them. Open with something i read somewhere here on the forum, telling them the truth, that im practicing to talk to strangers.

Also, i read AFC Daniel blog and really liked the way he did it, so i think i will do my blog in a similar way

Day 2:

Goal:
Approaching women and start small conversations.

In field:
I went to the same mall as the first day. I was walking around a long time before anything happened, i didnt know what womens to approach. Tried to say hi to a few without eye contact, they didnt realize i said hi to them
Then i saw a hb6 sitting alone at a ice cream bar or something like that, i hesitated but she didnt see me, so i kept going for a while then turn around and approached her. When i got closer i saw that she was more like a hb3 or hb4, and the conversation went like this:
Me: Hi, whats up?
her: Im good.
Me: Cool, can i sit here?
Her: Yes, but it is occupied.
That sentence really confused me so i said: "Ok, have a good day then, bye" and left.
Then i left for home to avoid rush hour.

Results:
Even though my first approach didnt went very well i walked away from there with a biiig smile on my face, the goal was to approach, and thats what i did. It was far more intimidating to approach than i thought.
Maybe i shouldnt go home after only one approach, next time maybe i can do more.
Approaches: 1
Hi's: ~4(responds 0)

Lessons:
It is hard to get eye contact. Hard to find "ideal" approachgirls. Need huge balls to do this.

Sidenote:
I have been on pretty many dates i got from internetdating, i had no problem talking to those girls, although i havent really seduced any of them either, but most of them i didnt want to... They had beautiful pictures online but then turned out to be fat.
So i think my improvement will be fast as soon as i get past this huge step with approaches.

Questions:
1: Am i really supposed to say hi to girls without having eye contact first? No ones notices otherwise i think.
2: Is mall the best place for daygame? Other places?
3: In what situations is the approaches easiest?
4: Would really like some advice on how to make the approaches less painful now in the beginning.
5: The HB-system, it is 1-10 right? When i rated in my report i used a really high scale, meaning a HB10 is so good looking its ridiculous and i haven't seen any girl that hot. That also means that hb3 isn't hideous but a normal girl that just isnt very hot.

This was a long FR for 1 approach
I think i will go again tomorrow, I REALLY want this.

Next time you go out have a goal to approach 5 women. Although you'll probably get more rejections then good interactions you'll realize that rejection really doesn't matter. We build up this huge thing in our head about approaching and we become so nervous about it, but in reality, you'll probably never see these girls again. So who cares what they think? The best advice I can give you is to approach, approach and uh, approach some more. Like anything else with practice comes skill. I'd also advise you to forget the no eye contact thing and look these girls right in the eye. Women like men who are assertive. In short, they like men not boys. You have to be dominant. Nothing is more appealing to a woman than self-confidence.

CONGRATS. That's the point - progress toward your goals through taking action. So many just don't get this.
Yes. Read what the previous poster said about eye contact and confidence.
There is no one 'best' place for daygame. Go where you feel best. Once you found your daygame scene that gets you #s and dates, stick to it and hone it. You'll also probably find that certain days or times of day work best for you.
If you're in the mall, go in to a store and chat up a girl in the store (not an employee).
Make an offhand comment or question about something in the nearby vicinity. See if you vibe with the girl first as opposed to laying it all on the line with a direct approach. You can communicate your intentions to her through your body language/tone and through your comments later in the approach. This is a great way to get into the game and the girl is compelled to talk to you because you are approaching in a totally normal, non PUA/routineish way.
Awesome. Keep at it bro.

Thank you guys, i really appreciate you taking the time to give me advice! I really need it!
Still haven't got that eye-contact thing while saying hi, but i dont think i need it. I wont go and say "hi" anymore, it feels stupid and i will only do approaches instead.

I've been planning to go to town everyday to approach, but stuff keeps getting in the way.
Although, on Saturday I went, not worth to do a FR about it though. I was meeting my room mate in town after his work at 3, but i went early to do some approaches or something before i met him. Didn't do any approaches more than that i asked a girl for direction to a place a already knew, of course i missed a couple of opportunities, but honesty, there were no girls out .

I think a learned a few things though, while sitting at a cafe waiting for girls i could approach:
* I will wait for girls to walk by, then approach them from the back(running around to their front).
* Not try to approach girls that are walking in the opposite direction im walking.
* A street is probably better to approach for me than a mall.
* Sweden is cold and a lot of the girls are hiding

Yesterday i was at dinner with the "one-itis", my room mate and his girl, it was nice and i will keep this girl as a friend! She is really good with clothes and we will go shopping clothes for me any day in the nearby future.
I'm glad they invited us for dinner, and not making it weird that i asked her for a date and got rejected. They are really fun.
Tomorrow lunch time i will go into town and start to work for real. This is the week it happens!

Day 3:

Goal:
Approach girls.

In field:
Today i went into town to do some approaching and FINALLY i did it. I was walking around for a long time before i did it. I had a few i was about to do but changed my mind last minute
The first thing that happened was sooo random, when i was walking one of the biggest "shopping street" i bumped into a girl i have slept with like a year ago, who lives 1000km from here I did talk to her, but not for long, i had other stuff to do.
Then i did it, i was standing beside the street observing people watching and waiting for prey Then i saw a girl who looked nice and was short(for some reason, less intimidating), i let her walk passed me, without seeing me then i ran around, stopped her and said something like
Me: "Hi, excuse me, could i tell you something really fast?"
her: "Ok"
me: "I saw you walking by me there(pointing) and just wanted to tell you that you are really cute.
her: "Ohhh you are so cute, thank you"
Then it got a little bit awkward, i said something like: your welcome, have a nice day and then i left.
I didn't really want a conversation, i was happy with doing the approach and it was nice to get a positive answer back.
That made me really happy and i could feel my self esteem raising.

The second approach went good as well, but it was embarrassing.
I saw this girl in a distance, she looked reeeeally cute, but i wasnt really sure because i dont see very well in a distance. I walk fast until i get close, then i run around her, stop her and start saying the same stuff as i did in the first approach, only thing is: I havent seen her mother But i think its to late to do anything about it.
But luckily both mother and daughter got happy and said stuff like: "What a nice thing to say" and got really happy... The girl was really young, like 16-17 and that creeped me out.


Results:
SUCCESS.
2 approaches, both went well. VERY happy about today and i think next time i go, i can do more approaches.

Lessons:
Most important: Bring my glasses
Dont think too much, just do it. I kinda have to since there actually arent very many girls i can approach since: SPAM im only approaching girls walking alone, that are shorter than me(im 173cm) and that is cute so i dont have to lie about that.


Sidenote:
I havent told anyone about this, except a friend living in another town. Im in a facebook group and me and a guy from there will go daygame on friday!
I think i will look around for a wing man living in here, but i dont want to tell anybody in my "social group"
Also, it feels like im getting more and more confident everytime i do this.


I think i will go to town tomorrow aswell, and try to do atleast 5 approaches and start to have some sort of conversation with the girls i am approaching. I think i have found a good place for approaches atleast.

All good news bro you are making very nice progress. Your convo w/ the ex def. raised your state which was a good thing to get the ball rolling.
Exactly: As you found out you can take action in the moment or you can be in your head, but you can't do both.
Nothing wrong with that at all.

You are great at analyzing your overall situation and you seem to have a calm head about all of this, I predict you will be great at this if you don't get one-itis :p

Thank you!
I didnt think of it before, but after reading the bold part it made sense to me. I think this is key. When i had talked to her i got into a really good mood, and was in the right state right away.
Really nice words to hear, i hope you are right!
One-itis is a big risk though, I will try to live by the words that hit my heart first day reading this forum:
"you don't yet know how to go out and get 10 more desireable women in a short amount of time. If you DID know how to do that, you would not be obsessed with getting this one woman and you would already know how to answer your own question."

I am actually taking this very seriously, I decided to take a break from school until Christmas so i can daygame everyday. Yesterday i was in town aswell, big failure though I went with my brother to help him shop some clothes and i told him about my "mission", he wanted to help me. Anyway, we went to town later than i have been the other days, and that made a big difference. From the beginning there were some girls, but i didnt get to it, i guess this was a state thing and me being very nervous.
Later when i decided to force myself to do it, there were no girls i could approach. We were observing the street looking for girls a long time, but no one came. Everyone was with atleast 1 or more friends.

The way i have decided to approach girls feels kinda brutal, but i think it is a very good way. It is here i think it is key what you(oceanx) wrote about the ex. I think i need some warmup to get in the right state.
I think i will try to do that today, maybe go into a clothes shop and talk to the girls working there, pretending to want something or w/e. I have no problem doing that, i am a social guy, but it might be good warmup.
Maybe ask some girls for directions to places, same here, i have no problem with this either, but maybe good warm up.
Any other ideas of how to get into the right state?

Yep, as we talked about earlier you'll def. have your fave venues and times if u get into this.
Yeah I agree with you; a warmup set or 2 is such a major key to success; otherwise you can find yourself stalling out and questioning yourself and being in your head too much. Getting the first interaction of the day out of the way AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE is huge.
Def. try it; I find the most success of getting into state in talking to non-hired guns but u never know, this may work for you.

Just don't forget: The girlies usually like a well rounded dude who has other interests so just some advice to not neglect your other goals in life as well.

The first is really true, i will tell in the FR below!
The second if of course also true but this is not something i worry about, I havent talked this much since this "blog" is about picking up girls, but i am making my living playing poker, so i spend more than 100 hours every month playing, I really love it and it is my passsion, besides that im studying full time. So my schedule is full!
Only this time until christmas i took some time off to be able to get this daygame going fast

Field report:

Day 4

Goal:
Approach girls.

In field:
Today i met up with a guy i've been talking on facebook through a "Stockholm pua group". This was sooooo good for me, such a big difference from going alone! And he had been doing this for a year, so he taught me alot of stuff!
Anyway, the day started golden, with this: "a warmup set or 2 is such a major key to success;" in mind i started to talk the girl sitting in front of me in the subway, there was this "homeless guitar player" playing very loud, when he was done and away i opened with "I'm so tired of those, its impossible to concentrate on anything, bla bla bla" turned out she liked him The girl really seemed to want to talk to me which was nice, but i had no more intention than to warm up so i just said "good bye, have a good day" when we arrived. Then i met my new friend and we went for some lunch, talked along time about different stuff, such as AA and he gave me some pointers.

Then we hit the streets! I can honestly say that i dont know how many i approached today but i would guess at 10. My goal for today was to only approach, not try to close or something like that. I'm in no hurry for that.
We were walking a big shopping street and when i saw a hot girl walking the opposite direction i went after her and did the "yad approach"(i think its called) and said she was very hot/pretty/beautiful/nice(obv i tell them in Swedish, dunno the exact translation). I did this for a couple of times but i also approached in other ways today, which i think is very good. I dont wanna get stuck in routines or anything, i want to be able to ALWAYS approach. For example: we were walking and i heard a nice accent from behind, so i turned around and said "I heard such a nice accent from behind me, is it yours?" It wasnt, but her friend insisted it was Doesnt matter, i approached.
Then when i entered the bus going home there were no empty "2 seats" so i sat down besides a hot girl(ofc), sat there for a while, then when we started to get closer i decided that i have to open this girl, so i did:
I dont remember exactly but something like this:
Me: Do you know any good places to eat in XXX center?
Her: No, im only here to visit at friend at a party
Me: Ok, well i should know! I live very close by but i never eat here..
Her: Ok, right now im only trying to find H&M
Me: That is on the way to the food places, i'll walk you there.
Her: nice .
On the way walking to H&M i tell her:
Me: U might find it weird i started to talk to you like this, but i will tell you why: this morning i decided that i would practise to talk to strangers.
Her: Really? Thats cool, that is something we never do(meaning swedish people). Very brave of you!
Then we are at H&M and we both wishes each other "have a good weekend" and stuff. I dont think there was any attraction or something, i couldnt care less, as stated before, i talked to her to practice and to get comfortable talking to hot women.

Results:
SUCCESS.
Alot of approaches, some went well, some didnt, doesnt matter...
Super happy about today, i needed this and next time i go i will take it one step further.

Lessons:
*Today i noticed that most of the time i didnt get "all the way" infront of the girls, so im standing in a angle beside them, NOT OK, next time i will go "all the way" and stand right in front of her. I think this sends weak signals.
* I could actually feel my body language saying: "I really want to say this stuff really quick and then be out of here". I think this is connected to the first point i made.
*Next time, i will go all the way, stand in front of the girl and don't be in a rush to get away from there.



Sidenote 1:
I recorded most of my approaches using hands free, since most of my interactions were very short i dont think there is anything useful there, but in the coming interactions i think it can be very good! If i manage to get them into the computer.
When i have acutal conversations i think i can upload and let u hear them, maybe interresting for someone to hear me pick up in Swedish

Sidenote 2:
I'm going to town tomorrow again, i WILL have conversations for real. Not sure if i will try to close yet, kinda wanna master one thing at a time. We will see.
As before, key is to get some interactions early, but i think i have enough meat on my legs(is this a "saying" in English as it is in Swedish?) to do so without to much pain.

Sidenote 3:
I think i will spend the night watching "simple pickup" as my new wing man recommended and drink some beers.
Tomorrow i will go out really early to play poker vs the drunk and stupid, then go to the gym then into town to approach+more!

Cool man great progress, keep it up!!
I am glad that comment made an impression
Great. When guys get stuck in routines, their game is 1-dimentional and they are cutting themselves off from 99% of the potential approaches they could make.
Perfect example of free-flowing game, without being restricted by "routines".