So I met this girl online recently.. indian girl born in india.. raised in UK for many years. Now 34 years old.
We met up and in pub near me..

I managed to kiss close as I do with pretty much every girl these days on a date, which is ok.
She wasn't making the biggest effort to contact me after 1st date, but was responding and agreed to meet for 2nd date.

2nd date, managed to convince her to come round to mine on phone. I cooked for her. She turns up with bottle of wine looking nice. Admittedly, my cooking wasn't great and portions were small. Didn't think too far ahead.

Anyway.. getting down to it on the sofa.. I managed to pull her to bedroom.. We continued to kiss. She was on period. Gave her massage and she took top off etc..
Asked her to go down on me a couple of times.. she didn't quite do it. Left eventually to go home and all seemed ok. I was pushing for more action on the night.. she said at the end 'leave it.. don't worry.. next time I will give it all'.. she got dressed and left.

Messaged her on phone couple of days later..
convo went like this. (I wasn't ill but payed along if )

me: Young lady
her: Hmmm mr! How are you feeling now?
me: Feeling ? as in?.. ahh Better
her: oh good
me: How did you enjoy that massage?
me: Dear me.. you gone shy?

She didn't respond... 2 days I re-initiated.. Bearing in mind I don't really like this girl.. I was more testing the water and wanted sex.

me: hey .. Whatever happened to U? Did I offend us or did you lose interest??. Shame as I enjoyed your company..
her: Offended
me: Im really sorry.. what did I do? I genuinely don't know
her: Well, it was too fast for me. Im not sure that makes you offensive. It just proves that we are very different. Im not angry. You have loads of girls wanting to be with you, Im sure. I just removed myself form this equation because I realised that we are both after different things.
me: What are you after?
her: You're too fast for me and Im too emotional for your liking.

So I have left it now.. but Im confused because I am always reading how important it is to escalate, yet this happens.
Can anyone shed some light?

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here to learn.. thats all.

Hey man, this seems like a typical case of "buyer's remorse"... she felt ashamed for going too fast with you and realised that you are only after sex... when you waited a couple of days before contacting her after that night, only to bring immediately in the conversation the massage, she got the hint... you may not want a relationship with her, and also may not want to give her the impression when it's not really the case, but this can backfire like with this chick... next time try some fluff talk (3-5 minutes) then ask her to come over without bringing sex or sexual things in the picture... you know it, she knows it, nobody talks about it... plausible deniability in action... good luck!