-I have been dating HB 9 for 1.5 years, see her 3 times a week no contact the other days.
-Up until about a month and a half ago, constant sex initiated by both parties
-Honeymoon phase gradually ended, HB notices and says things like "we aren't having sex as much as we used to"
-I noticed the Honeymoon phase ended when I would initiate and get more resistance, then freeze out and she would initiate. Like we would go to bed, she'd say I'm tired, then I'd roll over, she'd initiate for it a few min later and put her tits in my face. This happend a few times, once I denied her sex other times no
-A few times when tried to initiate spontaneous sex before going out and got semi-denied, I got quiet and she thought I was a bit frustrated. I have never voiced any concern as far as this goes though
-HB still initiates sex at least once every time I see her. She cums every time I see her. Examples: she waits for everyone to leave house, then initiates makeout session. she brings vibrator downstairs and starts stroking me (when I am flaccid.) she says lets go downstairs, I am watching tv ignoring her, she comes onto me gets a bit pissed, tells me to take my pants off, ect.
-BASICALLY, when I caveman her now she is not receptive, but when she initiates or its mutual it is ok

-During a convo we had, she asked "What if we didn't have sex one time? Is the basis of our relationship sex, has that ever crossed your mind? I know it isn't but still. Would you be ok with not having sex one time I see you? I don't think so." I said "I keep you around for how bad you smell" ect.
-She has also said that she feels like she is just there for sex when I tell her I am going to get her off then we are going to have sex.

KEEP IN MIND GUYS: She calls me asshole/jerk all the time, I make the plans, dominate her in bed, she has said the sex doesn't need spicing up.

I have read that it is good for women to feel pressured to give their man sex if the pressure comes from him going elsewhere to get it if she does not give it to him. This hinges on his ability to get other girls. She knows I can.

But why would something like last night happen? We are sitting on my bed, she says lets go downstairs (implying sex), I say in a minute. Say we are going to take our time, she says I want chips and dip...and sex. Kinda killed the mood. She said "you didn't like that answer?" Then she eats a bit, and as I ignore her and watch tv she gets horny. We bang, then I get her off. She is happy, says now she has to wait a week for it again and is displeased and will send me naughty pics. My dick goes up again, she says "why?" I say you are going to sit right there, take my dick as a teaser for the week. She does, but stops me halfway thru. I noticed she wasn't horny, so I said the sex was bad tonight (LOL) because I was horny then, and she was horny earlier . She says she was being a trooper and she didn't think it was bad, and "see why did you have to end it on a bad note, you complain about sex with me always/it feels like criticism"

Did I kill her attraction guys by spontaneously initiating too often? Or getting a bit quiet when she'd say "just cuddle next to me" or freezing her out? sometimes she would say lets have sex, then be tired, then when I'd freeze out she would initiate. but when I initiate, no

can I save this by letting her be the one to initiate?

or is this an emotional issue where she feels like the basis of "us" is sex?

I think she's telling you most everything you need to hear, but I think a lot of what's happening is being mixed up in your translation, I'm losing track of who's saying what, in your post, which really changes everything, particularly the last line.

One thing I'm sure of is she's not happy with the way things are at the moment. And to hazard a guess, I'd say you're not being romantic enough. You're both going to get horny, so sex is going to happen, but without the surrounding stuff, she's going to feel a bit unsatisfied, maybe even a bit guilty.

One key phrase is her saying "Is our relationship just about sex?" I'd say the simple answer to your problem is, the sex is good, but you guys are not doing enough other "special" things and having good experiences together, which at the 1.5 year mark, is very much expected. Taking a vacation somewhere, even a picnic up in the mountains and a walk through the forest, hopefully somewhere where there's something to see - a waterfall, bridge, some animals, etc. bird sanctuaries where you can feed the birds, and have lunch after, those are great.

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She said the line about how she was a trooper and I criticize her about sex or complain about it.

We have been on vacation, the last one was in August, but we are planning another one for christmas break. is there anything else I can clear up?

She does still call me asshole/jerk regularly, I don't contact her often via text unless to initiate plans, to which she does at least 50% of the talking. I am just freakin paranoid that the reason she turned down advances was because of lost attraction because of the frequency of said advances or how I got a little quiet and she would be like "are you going to be in a bad mood now?"....but I never stayed in a bad mood and also I usually misdirected my quietness to being tired.

Would she be stopping my initiations because she feels like that is all I want her for or I'm using her and she wants more romance? I have read that that can be a cause

It is just weird to me that my advances are postponed but she jumps me

I kind of had an epiphany. Along the lines of what conker said, I think she feels cheap if she gives in to my advances other than those that she initiates, because she wants more romance. I do take her out and such alot, but it is usually bookended by sex before, sex after, every time, all the time

Find out her 'love language' - that is the things that make her feel loved and wanted most. For some girls its gifts, others affection, others words...find out what it is and cater to it.

I was so puzzled about this, I did a google search. I wasn't acting beta, we do adventurous things, I make the plans, pass her shit tests, ect.....but there was a dropoff in sex.

I thought all this time that the guys whose women no longer want sex with them were "beta backsliding" so to speak. This article I found tells us otherwise. The longer women are in relationships, the less sexual desire they feel, and it comes from evolutionary interest. It is in their best interest to lose interest in one partner to look for variety for their offspring, aka pursue serial monogamy. Us guys want more variety, but still are able to keep our desire up for our significant other.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/onc ... erspective

what do you guys think about this?

I also read another article that says couples who temper their expectations about long term sex are happier. Would showing my girlfriend this article be a bad move? She has brought up the "we are not having sex as much as we used to, am I getting fat?" a few times lol.

I know this thread is old but damn wow that article was crazy!

When a society or world believes everything the scientist says because its 'science', it becomes more like a cultural affirmation rather than fact. I guess woman really do want to be equal with men.

Haha well in that case this is beneficial to all the players who want to score MILFS! I hope you've got tabs on your h.b 9 bro coz she doesn't love you its just pure science and she's probly fucking some other dude.

I guess there is no higher moral than the continuant of the species , fuck art!