As most of you know by now, I have the reputation on this forum as being the Indian guy that kept on complaining about Indian so I took months to look at my past. At one point I would lock myself into a room, close my eyes, and just keep thinking about the past to see why in the world I was so insecure and had crippling self-esteem.

Then slowly I started to realize why my self-esteem was so terrible and why I would come on the forums so much to vent, seek validation, and just find company from other people.

In my past I have often been overlooked, mistreated, thrown aside, disregarded, and just laughed at. My parents were often hard on me for a lot of the little things and most of the kids I knew were always trying to pick a fight with me or being very judgmental of me.

It rarely happens to me these days but the past trauma is still stuck there and in some ways it cripples my self-confidence and messes with my game. How do I get over it?

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I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.

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Never get broken up with again: the-addiction-formula-never-get-broken- ... 88794.html

I have a lot of indian friends so I know how unreasonably overbearing the parents can be. But, you are for the most part an adult now. You need to learn how to stand up to them at some point in your life (maybe after the finish paying for your college haha).

Also, as bad as you think you were, I was the BIGGEST freaking loser all through high school until college and now I sleep with women pretty much at will. I was 130lbs, 5'8", jewfro, glasses, and was a total social fuckup/weirdo. I would freaking wear YELLOW SWEAT PANTS TO SCHOOL UNTIL I WAS 14. Did I let that interfere with me when I got to college? Fuck no. I gained 20lbs of muscle (now up to 40+extra lbs of muscle), and told myself: "If the fucking retards in my high school who are cool know how to be cool, me being 100x smarter than them can surely figure it out."

Then, i started with low hanging fruit, like being able to make eye contact, being more assertive, and took advantage of the blank slate I got coming into college an unknown. It took me a year or two to get it, but I got it.

How does this pertain to you? Here is how: what I DID NOT DO was whine about my past, blame anyone in my past, or even worry about it. I just moved on. I actually do NOT recommend googling shit about past trauma because most likely will suggest stupid shit like talking about it, paying someone talk about it with you (a shrink) and start delving deeper into a part of your life that is IN THE PAST AND IRRELEVANT.

Simply, forget about the past, focus on the future. bottle it up, where it belongs.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

TheFury:

Thanks.

I have also purchased a book called "The Power of Now" and am reading it right now.

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I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.

Positive experiences thats' the best cure. Surround yourself with pleasant people that are mindful of how you feel then try to build your self up with little success then big sucesses. You'll put everything behind you

I can't speak to being a minority b/c I'm not one but a few immediate thoughts come to mind.

One is to lower your standards. The standards you say you have when you post are ridiculous for what a guy with your mindset can expect. You're not getting a hot blonde. there are reasonably cute heavy women out there who could make you happy that you are probably over looking b/c you think you need someone blonde and cute. You're not getting something skinny and cute.

Two is to go to a country or a location where you think your color is more respected. Instead of staying on the forums in all your spare time get out and earn some extra money to buy a plane ticket and hotel stay somewhere you think you may be successful. Do your research. Are indian guys more respected by women in Thailand, Brazil, or Puerto Rico? What about Mexico? What about Pakistan or India?

Go find something you think is cute, dye her hair blonde, teach her a language you can both communicate on, and go from there

I wouldn't mind a Brazilian girl but I am not taking my mind off of going for hot blondes either which I have started to have more success with. Even hooked up with a couple but it hasn't happened as often as I would like.

SO tell me, what makes you say I won't get a hot blonde? I am convinced you aren't getting any hot blondes either but I like to give you a chance unlike most people who see you as another keyboard jockey. Judging by your posts I can't blame them and I fail to see how you can help anyone. Maybe you are better off wasting your life away on a music or sports forum.

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I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.

I'm not a key board jockey. I just get tired seeing people litter good forums with stupid shit. It's not just you, it goes on every where

paramount

If you don't like something about yourself... Change it.

It's not easy it'll take alot of hard work and focus.

But if you really want it you'll make it happen. Good luck it's all you.

You can be whatever you want to be man. The world is yours. You just got to block out these haters and feel better about yourself. You do that then you got it made in the shade. It easy work.