OK guys, like the subject line says, she's taken and we like each other. Let me explain our situation. We sort of work together and for a few weeks we've kind of flirted and whatnot and basically set the stage for what happened this past Saturday night. We all went out for her friend's bday party at a bar then hit up another. We're all drunk and we make out at this other bar and got very romantic. I don't remember much of it but anyways....next day, she texts me saying not to tell anybody coz she's still got a bf and doesn't want people talking. This bf she has is your typical asshole-coz-he's-got-the-hot-girlfirend, he treats her like crap and she even says he's a douchebag. They're relationship is obviously on the rocks and she told me that night she hasn't been "feeling it" for a while now. Now, this girl is a good girl and looks down on cheating. That night was her first time cheating she says...and basically doesn't want to get into any more physical stuff until she's "figured what she's doing". She texted that she doesn't want to be the cheater and doesn't want to string me along. She wants to dump him but they've been together for 2 years and she's used to him now I guess (She would be going out of her comfort zone so to speak). She's told other people and me that she likes me and has sort of asked about me at work and stuff. The attraction is there obviously, and she's all for being with me but the a-hole boyfriend is in our way, he doesn't know about me or us yet. At work Monday, she was kind of shy and reserved (she kind of is anyways) but we both knew what went on. She admitted to me that night she's liked me for a while now. I texted her 'good morning' yesterday morning and she text 'good morning back', but nothing else after that, we both haven't texted each other or seen each other due to work being called off for the past two days. So now my questions are, A) why does she not text me much, if at all?........B) How do I keep this thing going when she doesn't want to cheat?...........C) What should I text, if I am to text at all based on your guys' advice, to get us going in terms of phone game to continue our fling on the phone? My main thing is not to push it too much and put even more strain on her. Help me out guys....

A) She doesn't text much because she doesn't want to feel guilty

B) I'll get to this later

C) I'd avoid texting since it's clearly not helping progress in this situation.

Now about what to do, it's really complicated. I will tell you what I'd try to do, but it's not so easy. Guilt is a really strong negative emotion, and she clearly has mixed feelings about your little night-out. You must get your steel balls out for this to have any chance. Any safe game won't work, taking maximum risk is the only way here.

Here's the plan...

Step 1. Act casual. Be cool with her, have fun, but avoid being overly touchy. You clearly have the attraction, but she will take a massive risk to drop her 2 years long relationship for you so you must build a lot of comfort. Also, she's still feeling guilty so you need to give her some time before you make another move. If you're lucky she may even break-up meanwhile, then you don't have to put up with all this shit.

Step 2. After successfully earning her trust, tell her you have something very important to tell her but the work environment is not suitable. If she resists at first, tell her you won't do anything stupid because you know her policy on cheating, but it can not wait. Arrange a private meet-up.

Step 3. If you managed to get a private meet-up, this is where the hard part comes.
First, logistics. The meeting should REALLY be private(preferably, your place, or a bar at night where they don't know you)
Second, you need to be physically close to each other. Sitting next to her would be the best if possible.
Third, you have to be very efficient here. I can not even really explain. I will give an example. Reframe it to your own style...

"I have been thinking... about us. This can not go on any longer. (KEY point #1. Get her excited. At this point she doesn't know what the fuck you want yet but her emotions are probably hitting the Moon). I can understand how all this made you feel. You don't want to justify what happened by the fact your boyfriend is not treating you right. I admire that. This shows me you're very self-concious about your actions. (KEY point #2. Focus on her emotions. Explain her emotions to show her you understand how she feels, and ease her guilt). (Firmly grab her hand and gaze strongly into her eyes, preparing the kiss.) But it's not been easy on me either. I have mixed feelings too. I don't want to make you choose between me and your boyfriend, yet I really like you. (KEY point #3. Explain your intentions while minimalizing the pressure on her). In the end, I don't want you to get hurt or hate yourself, but I'm a man, and my guts tell me to go for what I want. I know you got used to your relationship. I can imagine all the experience you have had with your boyfriend. Ups and downs. If you really think this is just another down then you should leave now, and we should not see each other anymore. However... if you think that you no longer love him, then I don't want you to suffer in this relationship anymore. I will make this decision easy for you, if you let me. (KEY point #4. Take the responsibility off her shoulder)."

At this point, kiss her. If she accepts then tell her to go home and break up with her boyfriend because you don't want to and won't be the third wheel. If she rejects then politely let her out, and move on. Your next chance will only be when she breaks up and you can never know when that happens so don't wait for her... DON'T APOLOGIZE however whatever happens

That's my best I can come up with. That's if she is REALLY so much against cheating as you have said. Most girls are just saying that to not seem like a slut.

Peace,

In$tinct.

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"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

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thats good instinct

_________________
If its got tits or wheels, it will give you nothing but trouble

Thanks In$tinct. That's good shit. Yeah my plan is just to act casual like you said, maybe some banter here and there. The getting her alone part is gonna be tricky though. As well as pulling it off similar to how you said in your reply. All this went down just this past Saturday night so when should I lay it on her? And what other courses of action can I consider for now? Thank you again...

Ok, well work is off again, so we won't be seeing each other today anyways. I might have done a no-no earlier, I texted "stop dreaming of me ...." early this morning, just being playful. Any critique would be appreciated. Apart from that, In$tinct, or anybody really, maybe you can provide more insight this next question. She says she's liked me from almost day one I think and would sometimes go out of her way to talk to me. Thinking back on it, it was subtle but now I can remember some of those times. I've established more than a few brownie points over time with her so with all that said, in your guys' experience, will a girl usually leave their fuckstick boyfriends? And if you've had a similar experience let me know how you dealt with it. Anyways, They've actually went to look at rings a few times and she's told a buddy of mine she won't marry him or doesn't want to. That's all for now on this update...thanks guys.

As for all we know, their relationship is shitty. That means it is possible she would leave him. Sooner or later she will have enough. She's right now just waiting and hoping that things would go the right way again. As soon as she realizes it's not gonna happen, she will dump him.

Once in a while texting like this is not going to hurt, just to keep yourself in her head, but don't overdo it.

How much time to wait, you ask? I never said an exact or approximate time for a reason. You should calibrate. You should be able to tell when she's ready for this. We can't be there, observe her, and tell you "NOW is the time, bro." It shouldn't be longer than one or two weeks though. This is the reason why I said you should see other girls too because you never know how long will it take and if you only concentrate on this one girl for a long period of time you will fall in love deeply with her and fuck everything up.

About other course of action for now, I don't know what you expect. What other course of action? I think I told you everything:

-Act casual for now
-Prepare things
-See other girls

That's all I think is needed for this, anything other would just complicate it unnecessarily.
-

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Loud and clear, thanks. Yeah no reply from her, oh well. I appreciate the advice and direction In$tinct. Let's see what happens today...

Well it's been a weird week in a way. Finally saw her this Monday. Things were ok I guess. She had been gone for family reasons. Anyways, like I said it's been a weird one.

First off, we can only really see each other at work. This of course is hard on both of us. Yesterday we had a little chat on where things were. Again I'd do it off work but let me get there. In my earlier post, I said she's with this control freak bf. He says she can't go somewhere then she can't. He checks her phone and shit like that. She doesn't like to text with him around, which possibly explains her lack of texting so phone game is out of the question it seems. I haven't really been texting her a whole lot anyways due to HER lack of texting. Now it seems we maybe know why. She she also said she doesn't really know what she's waiting on to break it off with him. It's been two weeks since our bar fling and nothing's really progressed between us so I'm on edge a little bit. I've been casual for the most part as well.

A few topics of interest:

1. She said she wouldn't blame me for not waiting anymore. (I'm inclined to move on myself but is she trying to say something else?. If she doesn't know what she's waiting on then am I wasting my time?)

2. Second, it's possible her bf knows about us. I saw him Monday and he looked at me like he knew me or something but that spoiled fuck can come with it if he's feeling frisky...he didn't do shit though.


Well Wednesday night I texted her just a little bit. I got a new truck and texted her that I should take her out and we should break in the truck. She texted back, "whew you can't talk like that lol". I texted a few more times but fuckstick was probably nearby so I didn't push it and I haven't texted since then. Then our aforementioned chat took place yesterday morning. We chatted and whatnot but then I was called away for something. Afger the chat I kind of ignored/kept my head down as to give her space. I'm getting impatient here guys. Then today I ignored/froze her out because I'm not sure why really though I did see her look at another guy so that's probably why. Well She basically does it back. I really didn't look or talk to her. But she didn't as well, like she was playing games back. Which is what I'm curious about. It was like that all day today. Anyways that's the update. I'd like feedback on this post but that last part especially, her fuckin with me as well. Now it seems we're getting to the mind games. I'll appreciate any and all feedback on this post thanks.

But in the meantime, I've fucked an old flame and will continue to do so (that was tight shit by the way) and started texting another (she texted first out of nowhere) We haven't fucked yet but have made out in the past (I'm working on it). She sent me a pic of her kind of bent over wearing a thong, I oughta post it...

Well I fucked it up I guess. I got the ol' let's just be friends for now text. The few texts that she sent me that wasnt a reply. It basically said that she doesn't want me to wait and she doesn't want to cheat. It also said if something happens with her and her bf then we could talk but til then she wants it to be like we were before. No more awkwardness or some shit. That's basically it. That was on Saturday so it's been a few days since then. We see each other at work and yes it's been weird off and on. Today I made her laugh and whatnot but it sucks all around not being able to advance our fling anymore but I'm sanding my ground as well. Oh well, had to learn the hard way sometime right? Moving on. Thanks In$tinct and you for reading, learn from it.

Standing*** my ground...

sucks but sometimes ya gotta take a timeout

_________________
If its got tits or wheels, it will give you nothing but trouble

Sorry man, I've been keeping up with how things were going but had little or nothing to add. And it's still the same. Just keep on gaming other chicks and see where those go, no reason to waste your time doing nothing while you're waiting for this one.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

I've been threw the same ordeal. I met a girl a while back who came around my house a few times with my two old room mates ( a couple boy and a girl), i would flirt but she would put up resistance but like my daddy said persistence overcomes resistance..

So 2 months later she was at a shaky time with her boyfriend mad at him on her birthday! So after work i came to my house where she was with my room mates and brought her a cheese cake, which made her birthday because she never had someone do that. We had sex that night, her boyfriend whom she was with for four years was blowing her phone up, but she was ignoring the phone calls..

Long story short i was fucking with her for a couple months but she was always on and off with her boyfriend. You cant trust a female like that; Even tho she said she never cheated, i know damn well i'm not that special to where i would be the first guy you would ever cheat on your boyfriend with i know better due to hearing this excuse numerous times. But i had to end it with her, not worth going after a girl with a boyfriend she's been with for a long time.

When you're with someone for a long time their existence becomes apart of their character. So being with you they are always going to be in another man's character and not all the way there with you. Feeling Guilty thinking about them for leaving them.. its possible to take another mans girl but if they've been together for a long time you have to ask your self is it worth it? will she do the same to you? Loyalty goes a long way #ThinkAboutIt

#KeepSarging

Thanks for help gents. Well here we go again. Since we've been "just friends ", it was off and on tension wise (just bein friends is bullshit, it sucks but whatever) It's still there but things took a turn for the better. Since she friendzoned me, I've kept my distance, kept it casual and more or less moved on, didn't text or nothing. It definitely got interesting Tuesday. So at work I was joking around about how I used I be a male prostitute (I'm goofy like that). Anyways we're joking back and forth and then she went off to do something. After work, I get a text from her asking how much I charge and whatnot. So I get some banter going back and forth about what I charge for what and shit. Then things started getting sexually charged. She then finally admits that she "wants it". And then she started admittin about how she's shy (she is) but a freak as well and loves sex. I'm not entirely sure what I did, maybe the male prostitute thing got her, I don't know but fuck it. She had a few beers so it made it easier...it's back on bros!! Now we do text, my new truck is definitely helping my cause too, she saw it yesterday. Anyways, I'll get back to work but that's the latest on this.