I'm not a PUA by any stretch, i've only started studying the material and trying out a few bits here and there recently. Right now i've just got back into England after spending most of the last year in Australia, and obviously i'm still a bit strapped for cash trying to sort out a new job and new place to stay. In the mean time i joined Okcupid last week and chatted to a few girls and arranged a date for a drink. What i wanted was just a couple of drinks to see what the girl was like, but it turned out she was expecting me to buy her drinks all night and pay for her dinner, and when i as politely as i could told her i wasn't going to it didn't go down well.

Anyway, date went well, we got along and had a laugh, had a kiss and cuddle at the end and went our separate ways. Now i'm talking to her on SPAM and she's keen for a second date but i'm not going to spend a lot of money that i can't afford and want to know how to approach this. She's already told me she's old fashioned and expects a man to pay for things, and i've already told her i disagree and don't need to buy a girl's company.

Where to go from here? Should i just bail and look for another girl?

_________________
If not you, then who?

If not now, then when?

If not here, then where?

First date, you pay. Go on a cheaper date if you aren't willing to. The PUA logic is for the most part, 100% wrong when it comes to not paying, especially on a first date from online. I have field tested this numerous times and it always goes over horribly if you don't pay, and even if it doesn't, you rarely ever see the girl again. The fact that you guys are arguing about money etc. already makes you appear beta as shit. Sorry. The solution is not to bring it up and to choose dates that are not expensive.

_________________
http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

No offence, but i'm new to the whole PUA thing but i'm not new to dating. I've been on hundreds of dates and unless i've got some investment in the girl i don't offer to pay for everything, and this is one of the few times i've ever even been expected to pay for everything. Also, i didn't invite her out to dinner, i invited her out for a drink to meet face to face and she pushed to turn it into something bigger.

_________________
If not you, then who?

If not now, then when?

If not here, then where?

So why are you asking the question if you are clearly an expert? I've been on thousands of dates, probably one thousand 1st dates. Not paying usually comes off as beta as shit, especially if you start making an issue out of the cost of a freaking date. If you can't even afford a date, how is that supposed to look alpha to anyone in any way? How is that supposed to look anything but beta?

_________________
http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

In my opinion, the one who takes the initiative to the date, pays for the date. However, due to all these old fashion expectations from girls, you should at least ask her (if she took the initiative asking you out), if you should split the bill in two.

I think it is reasonable to pay for a dinner and drinks during the dinner. Anything after that is something you can discuss with each other before going somewhere else.

Remember who is in control.

Polity explain your preference/circumstance if she can not accept, than you have your answer.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

So being alpha and a PUA to you is all about spending money? That comes off as kind of pathetic. It also contradicts everything i've read or seen from the PUA guys who actually publish stuff and who i took to be field leaders.

I've never called myself an expert, and i know i have room for improvement in a lot of areas. But i've always been able to meet girls without paying for their company before i ever even heard of PUA or gaming. When i have money to spare i still would be cautious of spending it on someone who is essentially a complete stranger. And as i've already said, right now i have other things to put my money towards that come way higher on the priority list than expensive dinners.

If buying girls dinner and spending your money works for you then all power to you. It's not something i'm interested in doing and if that's all you have to offer then you may as well leave my thread.

_________________
If not you, then who?

If not now, then when?

If not here, then where?

Lol. wtf are you talking about? Spending money?? We are talking about the price of a date, that is an inconsequential amount of money to just about anyone who has an actual career or job. Making an issue out of such a tiny amount of money is the problem. You can try not to pay or whatever, but if you have to start having a conversation about a small amount of money that is beta. As for dinner, if you can't afford it, don't take her to dinner. Say you weren't hungry or whatever. But to complain over the price of a date that you went along with, when it is socially accepted standard to pay for your date (especially a first date online) then you just look like a cheap bastard or a poor bastard when you throw a fit about it, to your date no less. And then you continue to harp about the topic after the date?? Cmon man, USE COMMON SENSE!!

_________________
http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Cool story bro.

_________________
If not you, then who?

If not now, then when?

If not here, then where?

Perhaps you're right, maybe i am just over complicating it.

_________________
If not you, then who?

If not now, then when?

If not here, then where?

Ok mr "hundreds of date" experience. Clearly your success rate is far less than "hundreds". Learn something, instead of listening to so called experts who are just trying to sell you a bootcamp that will show you how to get any girl you want even if you are broke, ugly, fat, short, dumb, jobless, and shy. Some people are successful without paying, this is usually DESPITE not paying, not because of it. If you cannot afford to take a girl out to dinner, don't put yourself in the situation where it comes up in the first place.

_________________
http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Instead of listening to 'so called experts' i should be listening to anonymous posters on the internet who i have no reason whatsoever to trust?

_________________
If not you, then who?

If not now, then when?

If not here, then where?

You can listen to whoever you want. I have been doing this for a long time and know a lot of information on many of the so called experts (The vast majority of "pick up artists" are actually internet marketers, go to www.warriorforum.com and see what I'm talking about). Fact is you joined this forum to ask what to do if someone calls you out for being a cheap bastard which somehow has NEVER come up even ONCE before in "hundreds of dates"? Lol. Keep inviting women out and expecting them to pay, good luck with that.

_________________
http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

It actually is that simple.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Given that PUA and social skills type people are supposed to have a big cross over, it's somewhat surprising to find some as petty and argumentative as you with my very first thread.

Give yourself a pat on the back... or whatever it is you're after... for trying to start some sort of argument with me.

Take care now.

_________________
If not you, then who?

If not now, then when?

If not here, then where?