Girl flakes, I... beta?



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 Post subject: Girl flakes, I... beta?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 6:24 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:37 am
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Hey guys.

I've recently had a flake that kind of pissed me off. In a few words, HB says she'll be late, then later, then nothing. I think I handled this pretty poorly (though I never gave the impression it was pissing me off)

I was hoping you guys could give me a bit of advice on how to handle this kind of situation.
As a bit of information this is an online HB that gave me her FB, I only checked her profile pic and hardly ever got back to her because I totally misjudged it. She spent a couple of weeks doing all the work for my attention until I checked her FB again and picked up on the fact she was really hot by browsing her photos. I simply exchanged numbers and we agreed on a day and place but no hour.

(this is translated from french)

On the day.

Me: is 8PM good for you? (one liner fluff about head banging from party the night before)
HB: Yeah that's good for me!

At about 7PM she sends:

HB: I'm afraid I'm probably going to be late, my meeting/appointment/date (note she used a generic word in french that could mean any of those) is taking longer than expected. How about we get a drink same place but a little later.
Me: Take your time, I'm with friends anyway. You shouldn't skip dinner, we can always have a bite later. Just let me know when you leave.
HB: ok, no problem. What neighborhood are you in?
Me: blabla
HB: Oh cool I'm not far at blabla (her response was a little ambiguous in the phrasing which led to me asking her the following. Also note that these exchanges didn't follow each other immediately)
Me: Nice, does that mean you're leaving?
HB: Not yet, let me know if it's too late.
Me: No problem, but do you have any idea how long it'll be? (I'd rather cancel at this point if it's too long)
HB: I think I'll be leaving within 30 mn

An hour + later

Me: You managing? You aren't a woman for nothing ;)
HB: Yeah :) But I did offer to cancel, I knew it would take a while. (I did not call her out on the fact she never suggested canceling)
Me: Don't worry about me.

After this no news. An hour and a half later (11PM) I sent her:

Me: Hey, My friends are heading back so I'm going to move onto something else. Lets cancel.
Me: You'll owe me a drink next time.

All this exchange happened on Friday. The next day she got back to me with

HB: Haha ok deal!
HB: Today I'm the one with the headache...
HB: I ended up starting my night at midnight and it ended around 7am ...

It is now sunday and I have yet to reply.

So first question: Should I have just cancelled straight out when she suggested the plan change?
Second question: What should I do now? I'd feel completely beta setting up another date. Since I've got plans with other women up until friday I haven't felt in any hurry to do something about it. I would like to give this another go before completely nexting her though.

What are your thoughts?

Thanks guys.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 6:27 pm 
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The Coach
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Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2011 7:44 am
Posts: 4170
Location: Chicago, IL
You were way too needy dude.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 6:33 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:37 am
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Yeah I could tell. How should I have handled it though? Just cancel when she said she'd be a while? Or just let it be and see whenever she got back to me?


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 8:53 pm 
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The Coach
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Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2011 7:44 am
Posts: 4170
Location: Chicago, IL
Quote:
just let it be and see whenever she got back to me
That.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:30 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 29, 2013 3:08 am
Posts: 935
I'm just gonna say I agree with Majik, but for future reference if you have another flake try this I actually used it last week and it worked perfectly. I had a date set up girl texts me and says she's tired from work and the gym and doesn't think she has the energy to go out. So I text her back No worries a friend of mine is having a hot tub/pool party and is twisting my arm pretty hard to come out. I worked so well that she kept texting me until I got sick of talking to her and stopped answering and then she still texted me a couple more times. Just don't make a big deal of the flake and let her know you have something better to do.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 9:55 am 
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Joined: Fri Aug 16, 2013 6:46 pm
Posts: 729
ALWAYS occupy yourself.

Don't make her the target of your day. She flakes? No big deal, you head to another party and you are happy.
You tell her that and she's going to feel like she should've went. Who knows, sometimes she sets the other date.

I'd say cool down a bit for now. Ask her out one more time in a couple of days. She flakes, next her.


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