Hi,

Background

I work in a department that is split in to 2 groups. Group A gives the work and Group B does the work required. I'm in Group B. Group A and B are intended to be equal in status. There is, obviously, a social hierarchy that has formed through put downs and slight underhanded bullying.

Problem

A young HB8 - 22 yr old girl (I'm 32) started working in Group A about a year ago and her behaviour and disrespect toward me has increased over the past few months and I'm unsure how to handle it as it's getting worse

All her disrespect and abuse toward me is all covered in jokes and she always gets cheap laughs out of me and it's frustrating as if I deliver the same insults to her she will more than likely cry (yes she is a cryer and she regularly comes in to Group B's office to cry through the fact that her job is frustrating at times)

There are 3 guys in Group B (including me) when she pokes fun (calling me a dick head, stupid and that I'm shit at my job) at me she says I'm easy to poke fun at and she loves taking the p*ss out of me. She does this in front of other work colleagues to humiliate me I am unreactive just give her a little smirk and the usual 'alpha male' responses ie make out that she is hitting on me etc etc but she is very good at countering this with looking at the other two guys (GroupB) and rolling her eyes and smirking. The other two guys encourage it by playing to her and laughing hysterically so this empowers her. I pulled one guy to one side and he said she is just trying to fit in as she is finding it difficult in this job.

I'm a guy who loves a bit of banter with the girls in the office poking a little friendly fun at each other but this is different. It comes across as passive aggressive and I feel that she looks down at me through her behaviour. One of the guys in Group B is also alpha but can be a huge bitch and he has her respect. I would normally put it down to her age and naivety that her behaviour is so inappropriate in work and makes me frustrated. Outside of work I'm used to girls shit testing me and giving me shit but I laugh at them and give shit back but work profession is different.

An example of the sort of abuse I get from her is condescending and undermining ie calling me 'kid' and 'buddy' and punching me on the arm. Sometimes she is nice as pie but what pissed me off was that she came in to Group B office last night and asked what everyone was doing tonight as there was a work night out.

Her: What are you doing tonight?
Me: I'm skint so I'm staying in.
(Other group B guy): Oh he's got a girlfriend now so he doesn't need us
Her: You're usually the social butterfly of the group now your just a complete tosser (laugh)
(Other group B guy): (laugh hysterically) he actively encourages her shit to me

This is a small example of the shit she gives it might not sound like much but it starts to grate at you after awhile. She openly criticized me infront of other work colleagues and even to the open plan office but they like her as she is she comes across as innocent.

Is there a chance that I'm attracting this beahviour? ie not being assertive and pulling her to one side and addressing the issue (or is that weak behaviour as she would tell everyone what I said and think that I'm letting a little girl get to me)

Your thoughts are much appreciated.

Report the bitch to your boss. Employers fear being sued for workplace bullying.

Honestly it just sounds like she is giving you a hard time. Doesn't sound like much to worry about, you can either throw it back at her and if you do make it sound funny but not vindictive which can be tough. If it really worries you talk to her one on one and let her know some of the things she says is not alright with you. I really wouldn't do this though unless it crosses a clear line. Reporting her to your boss makes it look like you can't handle the situation yourself and comes across as weak. I would just be more witty and confident than her.

She wants the d.

_________________
Two words: Carpe Diem