I will try to keep this brief.

I am a 35 year old Nice Guy. I have zero game...zero....I used to have game when I was in my early 20's and then the nice guy syndrome took over and well you know the rest. I am a good looking guy, have all my hair and I am in shape, a bit skinny and I lack in confidence.

Fast forward to the last few months. I was starting to date this girl I had a crush on for years but she "LJBF" me right as we were starting to get physical. Still being a chump and the nice guy this crushed me. While this shit was happening and I was all desperate and needy, another girl came into the picture.

This new girl was actually a chick I went to college with in 2003, we had 1 summer class together. I got her name/number that summer and we hung out a few times but nothing physical or relationship wise happened. We went our separate ways (she was in town for summer only).

Fast forward again 10 years later and this girl ends up back in my life just as this other girl "LJBF" me. Being the king of chumps and dealing with the rejection from the first girl, I screwed up with this girl from my past.

Here is what happened.

I asked her to get together to catch up and she accepted. We went for a casual coffee meetup and really just talked and caught up. I had zero expectations because I was still torn up from the first girl. I really never expected to see this new girl again.

Lo and behold she ends up texting me about 2 weeks later and invited me to dinner. I went..... again nothing happened physical we just talked and had a good time. This pattern actually continued 3 more times. She invited me to a bar to see some music, she invited me to a movie and then finally she invited me to her brothers Halloween party last Saturday. I went to every event and I never escalated. I now realize what a huge chump I have been and I am not sure if it's to late to recover from this.

I accept full responsibility for not escalating this in 5 outings and am prepared to write this off as a failure on my part. I just want to know what advice you guys would give if there is any hope on salvaging this situation. I have been reading and learning non-stop about "nice guy" syndrome, alpha, beta, PUA and everything else I can get my hands on because I'm done with letting girls or lack thereof control me.

The latest thing that has happened since the Halloween party last Saturday is that I decided I would ask her on a date this time to see if I could salvage and let her know I AM interested in her. So I text her and said "I want to take you out on Saturday, be ready for some fun"

She waited 24 hours to text me back and said "i cant this weekend because I have work" She runs her own business and has a very busy schedule so I know that part is legit. 1 hour after that text she text me again and said "thanks for the invite, sorry for the slow response its been a crazy few days getting ready for this weekend"

So.....what happens now?

Hi JG,

First of all, you are far better off than you think.

Just reading through your note I sense that you are pretty in-tune and aware of whats going on, what people are feeling etc.

So now it comes down to confidence and how to convey that.

Her inviting you to her brothers party is the ultimate "I'm interested" flag. Hopefully it wasn't the "If this doesn't work I give up" flag....

The "nice guy" thing is a slippery slope. A lot of guys on this page will swear by "next that bitch", but its never really that easy. However, I think its important to acknowledge these experiences, even when negative, as a positive.

There are many who can't even talk to a girl much less go on dates...but you have women that are proactively contacting YOU. Use that as fuel for confidence.

You are being invited out all the time and to pretty "important" outings. Use that as fuel for confidence.

There are so many things that will boost a mans ego, mood, confidence and it generally revolves around women. You are getting all of that. Now just put it together and recalibrate your mind.

Walking around chest puffed out might not be the answer for you. Maybe being quietly confident is your calling? Plus, you want to stay "alpha" relative to your personality anyways, so if you try and change TOO much, it will look unnatural and you'll probably be getting women you don't want to date anyways.

So continue embracing your own personality traits while slowly adding bits of "alpha."

Regarding the date:

You're probably feeling that your confident date invitation was a bit late. Could have been. She could also just be super busy.

But the crux of all this is her actions. You can chalk this one up as bad timing, but she needs to come back to you with "Sorry I can't this weekend but how about next weekend?" or later in the week or tomorrow or whatever. If she wants to see you (especially after you were pretty up front about your intentions), then she'll find a way to see you.

If she isn't very receptive, grab onto your balls and invite her again. If that one doesnt materialize, call it a wash and get out of there. If that happens, you can point to exactly where it might have gone wrong: bad timing.

This way, you have reason for failure as well as a solution so it doesnt happen again. Its a win-win in the grand scheme of things, so just have fun while you're doing it!

Good luck man.

Cool, I am going to just text her the following...."hope everything goes well this weekend..."

and let it ride...since she has contacted me for the last 4 dates, I am sure she will hit me up if she's still interested because she knows I am now.

Don't give her that vague response.

At least say something like:

"Ok no problem at all, looks like a busy weekend ahead for you."

The one you proposed seems like you're still salty about not being able to hang with her, and she'll catch on to that, trust me.

Good point!

No other texts since I sent the last one, she did email me though telling me her brothers band was playing on the 15th of November, but that she would be out of town and couldn't make it, in case I wanted to go support them.

I think this one is a lost cause, only myself to blame.

So tempted to text her but I know I need to chill and see if she reaches out to me.

Let it go mate.

I was much like you except i never got any good with women until this year and i'm 32! I've had LTR's and stuff in the past but generally sucked at picking up random women.

Move on with your life, read some books, watch some videos, better yourself, meet new people (male and female) if she is interested she will reach out to you somehow. If not she's not worth your time or thought.

Worst thing you can do now is hang onto some hope like a desperate lost puppy. Does you no good my friend.

Better times around the corner

Well I let it go...and lo and behold, she text me tonight telling me how busy she has been and asking if my date offer still stood, she would like to take me up on it this weekend.

Now I just need to not screw it up again...

You mentioned in your OP that you are skinny. Here are my advices for you:

1. hit the gym, get muscle

2. dress nice, look your best

3. grab the fucking tits of the girl next time you see her