Hey guys,

I’ll try keep this straight to the point!

I’m not a PUA but used your techniques and way of thinking for hooking up with an HB10 this year.

We met in may (5 months ago), became friends, saw each other a lot during summer (casual stuff, drinks, parties, quick lunches) and started dating in September (2 months ago).

I’m 25, had 3 girlfriends and a few one night stands. Moderately fit, good looking, good job and financial security, but I’m not a natural with girls (i.e. don’t have many girl friends).

She’s 24, incredibly hot and not a day passes by without her being contacted or hit on by orbiters. She likes attention, and she has a lot of guy friends. She likes to go out 3-4 times per week even if she studies and have a part time job. She goes out a lot with her friends (never my friends) and I’m there like 50% of the time. We also go out alone together also twice a week.

One year ago I would have thought that this girl is out of my league! I used what I learned on this forum and it helped me gaming her. Thanks a lot!

She’s what you call a princess. Many guys do stuff for her and buy her expensive gifts for the sake of it, and invite her to parties. She’s an attention seeker, but at the same time she’s conservative (only been with 2 dudes, virgin till 20 years old).

I got her by being the opposite, teasing her, sometimes being distant, always being cocky funny, and always having fun together, doing exciting stuff and acting like an alpha man especially when we are with her friends. All this took a lot of effort from my part (it’s not natural yet for me).

I was also there when she needed me emotionally, I’m a good listener. I framed myself as high value. I didn’t buy her expensive stuff like she’s used to, but I treat her well when we’re together (pick her up, I often pay for dinners, nice gesture for bday, that’s ok it’s probably the minimum).

We’ve been dating for 2 months, sex is amazing and we have an incredible connection. Suprisingly I'm more sexually experienced than her. We sleep over 2 or 3 times per week when we can. We each have our own place.

PROBLEM : I started some AFC behavior 2 weeks ago, telling her I don’t like it when she goes out with groups of friends where there are a lot of guy friends and dudes who end up flirting with her one way or another.

I told her I want us to spend more time together, I’m always the one planning and initiating activities and events since she’s a spoiled girl and is used to be invited to stuff. We got into fights two or three times over this but always ended up okay after 1h and even having sex. (but the issue still remains)

She tells me everything, all the dudes who hit on her, she even shows me convos. I usually laugh with her and take it in an easy way but the past 2 weeks it was too much for me. For example:

- At a party she went with her girl friend, a random dude dropped them home at 5 am after the party. They were dudes hitting on them all night long, same dude who dropped them home tried to grab her ass twice.
- She keeps contact with an old ex (I’ve met him, friendly, seems non-threatening dude)
- Keeps contact with random dudes /friends who hit on her.
- Once she went to have drinks with a guy "friend" who tried to kiss her at the end of the night. She initially thought the meeting was friendly. She didn't contact him since. She said she won't do this again.

Dunno, it’s kind of too much for me. All this flirting, it’s not healthy. The way I told her I don't like that is kind of beta. I’m sure she would not cheat (she’s a prude), for her just kissing or dancing is cheating… but she still likes that all those guys hanging out around her. She seldom tells them she’s already with someone.

****Any thoughts or advice on how to handle an HB10 attention seeker girlfriend?****
****-Should I soft next her when she behaves like that?
****-Should I keep communicating or should I just ignore all this stuff and see how it goes?

I like her a lot, smart, funny, gorgeous, I’m trying to make sure she’s LTR material and I want to maintain the alpha male frame. We have an amazing time together. She's really into me, calls and texts me every few hours. If I would leave her, she would be crushed but she has plenty of guys to rebound with. For my part I don’t have many HB10 to rebound with!

Thanks in advance for your input ! Amazing forum

The longer you to are together and happy the less she will seek validation else where. Just keep having a good time with her, she flirts and gets hit on but "would never cheat.' No need to worry if you really feel this way. Don't let minor insecurities ruin what sounds like a pretty good relationship.

Dancing counts as cheating? Bloody Hell! I have to tell my girlfriend I've cheated on her with a few dozens of girls, what's worse, she knows most of them.

Now seriously. You two don't have a problem in this relationship so do yourself a favour and don't create the problem.

Altough you've only been together for a fair amount of time, until this point, your behaviour kept her hooked, so why you are seeking for other possibilities is beyond my comprehension. Just keep doing what you have been before you started acting like a wuss and everything will be fine!

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Cool thanks for the feedback, trying to go back to alpha behavior, and cutting the beta crap!

You're right time is on our side, girls always get attached with time if they're having a good time, if u treat them well and sex is good

Yes she would probably never cheat, but my insecurities are still there. Imagine your HB10 always being hit on by popular guys, rich dudes, etc. We're talking guys who drive Bentleys, own huge places, good jobs like doctors or CEOs, etc. She's smart AND beautiful, she can get wherever she wants just by smiling !

I'm not afraid of being cheating on but afraid of her being attracted to other dude and losing interest in me, and relationship might go down the drain. I've never seen this before, she gets hit on every single day, she showed me her fb stuff and texts.

For example she wants to go with her girl friends to a halloween party hosted by a rich guy who tried to grab her ass twice at a party. Same dude dropped her home at 5am. ******Pissing me off, u guys with be okay with your gf behaving like this? I still played it cool but she can tell I'm pissed off

*****If u have to tell her u don't like such behavior, how would u say it in an alpha male framing

*****Any advice on how to say and frame serious talk is welcomed

Concerning the party next week, I'm thinking about telling her in a casual way I'm gonna party with my friends on my own and pick her up and drive her home at the end of the night when both parties are over. Good idea?

To be honest, I don't sleep well when she's out partying on her own (I know it's afc beta thinking but can't help it) so I usually go out with friends. I show her I'm active, once in a while I tell her about my (few) girl friends or post a pic or check in with girls on fb, you know showing her i'm having a good time even if she's not around!
LOL good one
By dancing I meant gridding on the dance floor. Yeah she wouldn't mind me dancing with other girls but no ass grabbing and touchy hands I guess. She would consider that cheating (I'm not saying I wouldn't do it lol, with a few drinks in a club anything is possible)

Thanks for the feedback

Yes she's hooked but I've been noticing some bumps on the road, just looking ahead
Trying my best to keep the alpha behaviour but it's not easy !

Thing is I could easily access her fb account without her knowing (I'm good with computers), I've not done it yet. Would it be a good idea? Tons of valuable info in there, but it's so wrong.
I don't feel too good about invading her privacy, she's such a sweetheart. I can easily access fb and email accounts, but never did for my own benefit. And what you don't know doesn't hurt!

Other than this issue of orbiters and guys hitting on her very often, our relationship is almost perfect

Thanks guys

Nonononononononononononononononononononononononono.... no... NOOOOO.

Don't open her facebook account. You will most probably find a quadrillion of guys that message her daily and you may misinterpret some of her answers or whatever and you will just become even more insecure. Don't do it. I can not understand why don't you trust your girlfriend when she clearly didn't do anything. Let me try to tell this as simply as possible.

A flirty gf does not mean a cheater gf. Cheating has other signs...

Disrespectful behaviour
Lack of sexual interest
Arguing over nonsense all the time
Not keen on spending time together
Looking bored most of the time and suspiciously happy from time to time for a brief period.

So let's just see...
#1: You haven't mentioned anything like this so I guess it doesn't apply
#2: Clearly not an issue you have mentioned sex is great
#3: No information, I'll assume this doesn't happen too much since you would have mentioned.
#4: I don't see anything to assume this.
#5: Obviously not, your gf seems happy most of the time judging by your post.

So we can see that none of the listed warning signs turned red which means the probability of your girl cheating is close to 0.

Stop the beta BS. This really hot girl, who also seems like a very nice, valuable person chose YOU out of all the possible guys. And without a doubt she did it for a reason. Right now she wants you. She wants your dick to pound her puss, she wants your mouth to suck her tits, she wants your hand to hold her tight and your words to comfort her. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Thanks for the advice, yeah no listed warning signs turned red
I need to stop overthinking and enjoy my time with her

I’m not used to have an HB10 girlfriend always being hit on and all those orbiters flirting with her. I guess I’ll get used to it with time, and like u guys said, with time we’ll get closer and she’ll seek less attention from other dudes.
I’d rather get your valuable opinions before I do or say something wrong than coming here begging for advice to patch up things !

Bottom line, no needy and no jealous behaviour
Stay alpha, in control, be happy, do exciting stuff with her!
Cheers

A question to ask yourself is can you get used to it? You're gf is a certain type of girl. Not saying she's a bad girl or gf, but she's just a certain type. She likes attention from guys, is used to other guys treating her to things and has poor boundaries (I say this because she is going to the party of the guy who grabbed her ass twice). She is a "smile to the creepy guy even though he is being appropriate because you can use him" chick. Doesn't mean she will cheat and doesn't mean that she will be this way with you. Personally her being "smart and beautiful" wouldnt be enough; I wouldnt want my gf to accepting things from guys who grab her ass so I can understand how you feel. It would cheapen her in my view because if she mentioned she didn't like him trying to grab her but wanted to go to his party still, it would say she puts up with anything.
A major part of her life is being hot and using it to her advantage. This will not stop. It's like an ecosystem ; her social life revolves around this and her friends are based off this. Unless she ditches all the people she hangs out with it will continue. It's like if she was a drug user and all her friends were related to drug use; it would be near impossible to get her to stop because everyone around her has a part in drugs. In this case, she is an attention seeker and the girls she hangs out with do the same and the guys she hangs out with do so because she flirts back. Point being, it's highly unlikely she will stop so just be prepared for that. If you can trust her not to take it past flirting then it's fine.

PS- take her off the pedestal because that's a big problem. She may be hot and she may be with you but start seeing yourself as the prize. If you think she can do better than you and you can't do better than her, thats a recipe for neediness to develop and an eventual breakup.

If you can't handle the insubstantial things in ur post, you're never going to be able to date a 10.

The problem is that she's too comfortable. If she knew deep down that you could replace her, she would not be getting rides from guys at 5 am.

You're lucky she's not cheating on you.

On top of this, either the guys she is around dont respect you, or dont know you. I'm not sure which is worse, but both aren't good.

^ Excellent explenation.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

^^^ THIS. YES.

You aren't able to handle with the relationship and the girl because you value yoursellf lower than you value your girlfriend.

You are chasing her. You are inviting her. You are thinking about her behavior. You are feeling disrispected.

While she isn't.

This relationship is all about her, it's not about you.

HB10's who are attention seekers are a no-go. Not only is their flirty behavior disrespectful for their partner, it also makes them suffer, knowing she is "out of their league".

I was there dude. The best advice i can give: brake up. You are suffering, and it will only get worse. Flirty girls may not cheat, but they do make you suffer. You shouldn't suffer in a relationship.

Not always the case man, you'd be hard pressed to find a girl that flirts as much as me, so I actually have better luck with girls that DO project attention seeking attitudes and behavior. We can party and have fun and then go home.together and go.about our business.

Of course, I'm also only game for open relationships, so that probably has a lot to do with it.

Thanks for the valuable feedback!
Yeah her behaviour actually decreased my perceived value of her. With past girlfriends this would have been unacceptable, but with this one, that's how she is fundamentally and it’s too early in the relationship to start digging for problems and saying out loud it bothers me a lot
I only gave her hints, or said it jokingly, I call all those random dudes “her collection” and she finds it funny…! When I told her more seriously (beta behaviour) she didn’t respond well and we argued, so I cut it short and we were okay after that. Didn’t want to sound clingy or needy, always try to maintain high value and alpha, but’s it’s a very tough job.
She is definitely out my league. Not necessarily in her perception (I made huge efforts to be the guy everyone wants to be around since this summer), we always do cool activities, nice parties, and I’m always the cool guy.
But slowly she will undoubtly realise we don’t share the same lifestyle where she goes out 3-4 times per week (I can’t, I have a full time serious job).

Yeah great advice for HB10s

that's how I got her. I tease her, straight honest with her, cocky funny I often make fun of her pickyness and other stuff (in a kind way), call her funny nicknames.

No expensive gifts, no cheesy romantic stuff like other dudes get her.

I give her the minimum, 75% of the time I pay for dinners and activities (she's still studying, I work full time), 2-3 times I got her roses for special occasions since she loves them, kind of the minumum

[/quote]

Yeah, right on man, that's what's killing me.

It's been only two months of serious dating so for now it's not that bad (short term), her behaviour is changing (very) slowly for the best. On the long run of course I can't take this if she continues to behave like this. As painful as it would be, I would let her go after a few months if she's still having this kind of behaviour.

I'll stick to the "alpha who doesn't care much for now" behaviour and see how things go in the next weeks

********One important info guys. She will start full time work next week, and still be at university at the same time. Hopefully these new responsabilities will slow her down a bit! Less parties and activities, less exposure and opportunites for random dudes. High value for me cuz we're in the same field of work (I'm a few years ahead in experience), she considers me very highly for work/study related stuff. Time will tell

Why should he break up? You said yourself the problem is that he values himself too low. So the problem is not her, it's him. Why punish the girl for your own personality flaws?

I dare you, I double dare you to find a hot girl that doesn't like attention.

You know this girl seems really smart to me. Let me explain...

She's clearly a very hot girl. Many guys are hitting on her and she's doing the most clever thing.

She gives them just enough attention to stay, but not so much to encourage them do something. (The fact that they do it regardless is not her fault. Or it's her fault for being smoking hot)

I actually encourage my gf not to be overly rejecting with guys(within boundaries of course). It gives her a feeling of freedom. Which she'd hardly get from all the other bunch of losers who are constantly jelly. And this just gives me an edge because my gf has one more reason not to cheat on me.

Come on OP said even grinding is considered cheating for this girl, how serious do you think, these "flirts" are then? I "flirt" with most of my female friends anyway just because it's fun. And they enjoy it too but have the brains to recognize it's only fun. If those idiots can't tell the difference between fun and real flirting then they're the dorks not OP's gf.

/He grabbed her ass and then she let him give her a ride? wtf??/

Men thinking ^

Reframed:

/He grabbed her ass, so it's the minimum he makes up this rudeness with giving her a ride.../

Women think like THIS ^

EDIT.: Yeah, about going to his party. First of all, I don't think she will. Second of all imagine all the free stuff she'd get at said dudes party. At the end of the night she will be satisfied with her revenge and the dude will be left with sky-blue balls.

The best advice here is not to break up but to stop putting his gf on a pedestal and avoid overthinking stupid unimportant shit.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Yeah she's going with her girl friends who also happen to be very hot girls

Played it cool and said no problem, I'll party with my bros and pick u up at the end of the night

Basically other guys will entertain them and pay them drinks all night long and I'll pick her up at 3am to have fun after. Hopefully that's how it will go loool

Thanks for the advice, like u said no overthinking, no pedestal, keep cool and alpha and see how it goes