Hey guys,

This is my first post so I hope it isn't misplaced.
Anyways, here's my current issue.

- Agreed to a second date. Girl tells me ( by text ) that she'll be available at the end of the week but that she'll get back to me on it.
- I'm interested but I don't like the vague nature of her proposal. I decide to get ahead and suggest a day (Saturday), hour and place.
- she agrees to it saying "she'll get back to me on it by Saturday" (as in she will confirm)

Now to be honest. I have any number of people who would be happy to commit to a date/drink/etc on Saturday. So I would like to make sure she either commits or we cancel (want to give her a chance). Her flaking on Saturday is not an option.

The thing is. I'm not sure how to go about it. Should I just say that I think she's interesting and would definitely like to see her, but that I'm looking for someone who knows what they want, and if she's unwilling to give me a straight answer regarding Friday I would rather cancel? Or am I being too nice and should I just smell the flake coming regardless and just next? Or anything else really?

Thanks guys!

This, in my opinion, is a tricker situation than it first seems.

I agree you don't want to be hanging on until Saturday for her answer. It's not great for you if you have other options, plus it kinda shows to her that you have nothing better to do on a Saturday night other than to await her decision.

However... there is a chance that she genuinely wants to see you Saturday but there's some logistical issue getting in the way (e.g. work), and she might not know until Saturday; in which case pushing her for an answer may prove detrimental to your chances.

I think the first scenario is the most likely here however, so I would call her out and get her to hurry up.

"Should I just say that I think she's interesting and would definitely like to see her, but that I'm looking for someone who knows what they want, and if she's unwilling to give me a straight answer regarding Friday I would rather cancel?" - This seems a little strong, though. I'd just tell her that you need to know as you might be doing something with your buddies instead.

Good luck!

_________________
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

She's coming at it from a position of power. You're waiting for an answer...

Best course of action is to care less (but still care... You do want to go out with her, after all).

I sometimes play along with shit like this, but create a redundancy as a safety net... IE: create a loose second-set of plans for yourself Saturday (a set with a 'group' of people maybe, so if you canceled at the last minute nobody would give a fuck)...

Drop out of your second set of plans if she pulls through and doesn't flake.

Attend your second set if she does flake

Thanks guys.

Charles: I would do this but I'm pretty busy at the moment so I would definitely like to make the best of my saturday. Not that seeing a group of friends isn't interesting and fun but If I had to chose I would rather ask another girl out.

Hero: Thanks, I've gone ahead with what you suggested. I simply said something along the lines of: "Great! Can you just let me know before tomorrow so that I can tell my friend's I'm definitely not available on Saturday". I'll give her the day to get back. If she has a legit reason she'll come through with it. If she doesn't reply I'll just move on.

If anyone has any advice on canceling dates, I'm also willing to hear!

Thanks again!