Didn't see this one coming... Went out on a day 2 and heavy kino + k-closed during date and she even kissed me a good night.. She seems interested all night but two days later I text her and ask her if she is busy tomorrow night and she sends me this:

"Listen your a really nice guy and any girl would be lucky to have you but i don't think we would work out"

I don't think I played the nice guy card too much but maybe she saw that and somehow lost interest. The date went well also so I am a little in shock... How do I reply? Or do I even reply to this??

Also... I feel like her friend who joined us afterwards (who ended up 3rd wheeling because her date bailed) must have also said something. She seemed like a girl who was getting jealous when we were together most of the night...

I'm having the same trouble bro, what is it with these girls... don't realise there on to something good when it in their face? As for there basted friends they wreck everything!

I would be keen to text her "thanks nice knowing you" and forget about her and move on. Whatever you do DON'T comply with any shit test B/S she expects the average Joe to do, or anything that would make you seem to needy. When you don't care and move on, that's when they start caring and come back to you... or so I found from my experience.

Yeah I tried to play it off as it wasn't a big deal. Left with some pride but also on somewhat good terms so the bridges aren't burnt. Hopefully one day she will come around because this is one of the few girls I could fall hard for...

Any sane girl doesn't lose interest from a guy being nice. Women will lose interest over a guy being needy, but not nice, with some exceptions. The exceptions are damaged women that you should avoid anyway.

I'm taking a stab in the dark here, but I have seen a pattern among PUA guys that really screws them up in the dating department. Many of you (not necessarily you) go on a date and focus so much on going through steps, escalating and trying to seduce. Trying to be Mr. Smooth instead of just being genuine. Men don't realize that it is far more important to make a solid connection with a girl. So stop focusing on getting in her pants.
Besides, if things go well and she likes you, she will be down for some bed-wrestling.

The best way to approach a date is to be honest and open about your goals and aspirations, your hobbies and passions, your life purpose and work... basically anything that defines you as a person. Avoid bragging, it's try-hard. Just be real and stay humble. She should respond in kind and you two might connect on a more meaningful level. She will also think of you more as a real person in her life instead of just another man she went on a date with in her endless reserve of generic, desperate men. Remember: the point of going on a date is supposed to be for two people to get to know each other.
She should also find your life intriguing and attractive. If you're really doing things right, she might even be inspired by you. And if she is worth her weight, she will also be living an equally awesome life and have plenty to share about herself.
If at the end of the date, for whatever reason, the woman still isn't interested in the real you then it's not actually a loss if you two part ways. At the very least, you got to work on your dating and social skills.

There are only a couple of reasons why this would be difficult for a man to do:
1. he is emotionally avoidant and uncomfortable with vulnerability, perhaps harboring a subconscious fear of being hurt or abandoned by women. Or unjustly feeling unworthy of women. If that is the case, I would recommend some therapy.
2. he is a low-value man or living a low-value life and is trying to pursue high-value women, so all he can do is try to bluff his way into her pants because he knows if he reveals his cards, it's game over. The obvious solution to this problem is to well, stop being low-value. To clarify – when I talk about value I'm not talking about money, I'm talking about your lifestyle, being high character, confident, attitude etc.

You're out, so I dont know why you want to keep the bridge open.

Learn from it, don't text her and keep it moving.

-B

Because if she is actually being genuine and is emotionally out of it I think she would still give me a shot... I know some girls are so out of it emotionally after EX issues so if I back off and try again in the future I may have a shot... I know this girl likes me but I felt our date kept reminding her of her ex and it scared her off or brought back old feelings... I know when I was still crushing on my ex no other girl mattered, but they do now...

/\

testin, if I got a text like that (usually they don't have that much respect to tell me anything like that) I'd be like "HAHA WOW thanks for the compliment i've got to show this to my friends" Otherwise if it couldn't be interpreted as a compliment, maybe just reply with "same" or even "you're right." Any response beyond casual acceptance is just going to make you look pathetic. She knows she's likely hurting your feelings, last thing you want to do is acknowledge that you give a damn and that you are inconvenienced or hurt by her rejection.

If she talks back to a response I give, I'd just ignore her unless she tries to contact you at another time. Brush her off and demonstrate some higher value by not investing more time in that than the bare minimum. There's a tiny chance you might hear from her again but there's a chance I could win some money on the lotto tonight too but you don't see me buying a ticket.

Honestly any smooth way you try to play it, know that she probably didn't even want to have to deal with sending your a courtesy "fuck off" text, which is basically what it is and we've all gotten them.

Women are pretty unforgiving after they disqualify you in my experience. Best to forget about it. I tend to take those numbers out of my phone just in case I feel that pathetic some day.

If you happen to see this particular girl again, certainly don't make her the center of attention or try to game her. Some rare bitches I've met love the idea of having guys in their back pocket to summon and suck all the self esteem out of. On the other hand, don't ignore or act spiteful because all of this really just communicates that "you hurt me"/"you're better than me." That's the last thing you want to do even after forgetting about her.

_________________
Disclaimer: I may not know what I'm talking about

Never tell a girl "I've got to show my friends". The last thing you want is her thinking you share your romantic life with other people.

Just tell her "Hey, thanks for the honesty and complement. See ya around. "

I basically said "thats fair and accepted it"

then she sent me:

"Not to sound like a cliche, but honestly its me. I thought i was ready to move on & i realized it that night that im not. your the first guy i've been on a date with or even talked to since i've been single. you have everything going for you i really wish i was at that place but im just not. Thank you for understanding. I think your such a nice guy, not the typical douche bag so i needed to be upfront and not lead you on"

I replied: "Oh ok, no hard feelings... It was nice meeting you "

You think this girl was just being nice or actually genuine? And after ending it with my last text, do you think I would ever hear from this girl again? If so what is my approach?

I always say "see you around". It leaves the door open as littlebetter wwithout saying" until next time".

She's probably not lost. Give it a month or two. Stay loosely in contac. Don't be available. But be friendly.

Well I would never run into this girl in my daily routine but I guess that makes sense... I got her on instagram at least so I can always DHV with a good pic or two and get her thinking of me again... Plus i have a lot of girls chasing me on that, so it always helps... When you say "stay loosely in contact" are you saying don't initiate but let her initiate and just be unavailable and friendly?

No, you can initiate. Every so often (think 10-20 days, send her a statement or something fun. I like using picture texts with a funny caption. Just something that could start a conversion but might just make her smile or laugh. Then don't drag it out or make the conversation personal. Think about keeping it less than three back and forths. Just be a friendly guy who is around but not someone she invests in and turns into a friend she values. Because once she values your friendship, she won't want to mess it up by tryinganother date with you. After some time passes, you can try and see if she'll meet up again.

True... My text game is usually pretty good but I guess I gotta keep it to a minimum... I feel this girl has respect for me so I guess I can use that to my advantage...

just on the subject of lets be friends I love to tease and use this on them

just been chatting to a girl on facebook and she told me she doesnt like curry

'you dont like curry! im sorry but we can no longer be friends!'

always makes them laugh because they know im joking, but it works quite well as its usually the other way round- girls saying that to guys

Just an update... I didn't bother texting her and I also never heard from her since... Bad sign?