hi,
I am from India. South India to be exact. I am starting my journal as it will put pressure on me to do something interesting for writing here.

I was emotionally dependent on a girl four years ago. She obviously left me, and tat is how I came to know about the pickup industry. For the next two years, I started with David D s books and many other books. Those books became like mental masturbation for me. Wenever i needed to feel better i would start reading the book and get excited but would never do anything. This continued hopelessly for many days. I had the mentality tat knowing more about pickup will make me successful. So i would just read about some other revolutionary technique or approach.

So a year ago, a friend of mine challenged me to approach a particular girl. For the sake of saving my pride I made my first cold approach. I told her tat she looks cute. She smiled. But my mind crumbled under pressure as I entered it expecting myself to fail. I just ejected. I realised tat I was a bitch. Even though i had broken the ice well , I ejected for no reason.

FEW MONTHS AGO
I tried doin some other approaches but i would never approach. I will just walk around and go home. This was makin me angry. It was stupid. I started with the basic by sayin Good mornin to random girls on the street and just keep walkin. Then I started saying Hi and just keep walking. I did this a lot. After some period, i got a bit comfortable at this. Then, I started askin directions for places to girls.

ONEITIS!!(Not again!)
In the background of all this there is this girl (HB AT)who is my very close female friend. I started developing one-it-is for her. I wanted to attract her. I started doing overt kino(touchin arms, legs, hair) on her. She would just give a slightly angry look. I will test the waters by doing it one more time and just keep pushing the boundary and kinoing more frequently. At one point she burst out in anger about me tat i am just like a friend to her and nothing more. I like havin her as my friend. She is a good friend to me. I dont want to lose tat. Does this sound ridiculous??? Wat shall i do with her?


LAST WEEK
So last weekend I went out with the aim of findin some girls so tat i can take HB AT off my mind. I spotted a HB 6 and went to her and asked for directions. After she finished speakin, I told her tat she looks cute. She smiled. I was happy. My fear got weaker. As i scanned the streets for cute girls i spotted a HB8. I went to her and said the same things but i could feel that I was more open, loud and confident this time. But still i didnt number close her. I need to start closing.


I was clearly able to observe that, when i approached girls during the night time, they just keep walking even as i speak. But its not so during DayTime. Sunlight is making the female sex feel more comfortable

hi again,

November 1st week
Every new day i go out my fear gets restored to its full capacity. I know this is how it is for everyone(??). I go out and break my fear of approaching by tellin cute girls tat tey are cute. Till now there have been no negative responses. Just a few neutral ones.

But I am still crazy about the girl from my class who was my close friend in college for four years and now happened to get a job along with me in my office as my teammate(I say to myself tat tis must be fate that we both are together). I make blunders and mistakes when I am with her. Got to a point where she said she will not get attracted to me ever. She is making me get crazy. What is the solution? Is tat a question I have to find answer on my own? anything??

guys anyone..?????