I have just come out of a relatively short relationship with a girl I really thought I could settle with. It left me reeling.

We were so good together, but her reasons were that "we argue too much for the honeymoon period" and I am too insecure. Basically we argued once when she thought me saying "I would love to try more things" meant I was saying "You suck in bed and I am not satisfied" but we cleared it up. Then I told her I was a bit uncomfortable with her friendship with a guy she has history with (this guy is in a relationship now), but she asked me if I was ok with them hanging out, I was honest and said I had natural misgivings any guy would have but I trusted her and would suck it up and deal with it, I am NOT a controlling person. She must have smelled neediness, though I don't blame myself or think I did anything majorly wrong.

I must have given off more needy vibes somehow, apparently she feels in addition to our relationship getting too heated she feels she worries about upsetting me constantly and she can't be herself. The dumping at 4am made me feel she must have done something guilty, but she vehemently denied this and it is against my judgement of her character since it took me a month and a half to sleep with her and she is an all round good girl, she told me that she couldn't bare to wait to do it in person and she is very shy, doesn't make it suck any less. But you can never be sure, I would rather not know or think about it. I am just sharing what happened to unload the pressure of keeping it to myself. She also told me "You don't trust me or like me enough and you know I'm not lying deep down, I want to settle down and have kids someday but you don't trust me" I told her to stop telling me how I feel and that I was down with laying a foundation for a serious relationship, I was committed basically.

I didn't beg or plead, though things got a bit emotional and I said that I cannot believe she is just throwing it all away when we seemed so good and people argue and you work through that and no relationship is perfect. But I stopped attempting rational arguments since they are futile. She has made up her mind, I thought things were slightly cooler after an argument but never saw this coming. I've accepted the decision and have been no contact since sunday afternoon. Again, she says everything became too much for her and I do believe her and I think this reeks of insecurity on her part, but what can I do? I can't change anything that happened.

She fed me the false hope shit like "Maybe its not for good, but we need space right now" but I was having none of it. Told her I couldn't be friends with her as it is less than what I want and would be too painful.

My last words were along the lines of "I thought we had something good, but this is your decision and I am accepting it, smart people move forward, only fools wait around looking for answers. Take care of yourself but I am getting on with my life without you in it" To which she said she would miss me, but whatever.

Sorry if this is all rambled nonsense, but I thought I would just share, writing it out can be therapeutic and I actually feel fine 90% of the time since I know I can't pick at the wound and have no means of contacting her. It's easy to go into NC with the hope that it will win her back, I don't think that will happen and I am not expecting it. I am getting over this girl and moving on and NC is the best way.

She must have been thinking about it for a while, things seemed to cool off a little with a hectic work schedule but damn I didn't expect it. I think I definitely pushed her away a little, but I am not blaming myself, it's a part of life and it sucks, but I know I will be fine.

There are many more nuances that I can't express easily, I think its a combination of things, and I can be a bit needy when I get serious and I have a certain naivete about relationships.

Thanks for reading guys. Onwards and upwards

Oh, I sensed sexual hang ups on her part as well. Probably best moved on as it would have been issue, mismatched libidos is never a good recipe.

Sounds like yall are both 16-17 so just don't worry about it. In 2 years it won't matter.

Both 23, seemed a surprisingly immature reaction on her part. I reckon her friends influenced her on a girls night out, I know how jealous a gf's single friends can be.

I think I have some growing to do before I can handle getting serious with anyone.

Been there.

There's this girl I never went official with but kept seeing for about 4 months straight. Everything was going literally PERFECT, until one moment she flipped 180 degrees and ended everything. I have no idea what reached her and I wouldn't want to know anymore, I just don't care.

Just move on man, you will definitely find a better match trust me.
It hurts a bit the first week, then you'll get used to it.

Crazy world we live in, right?

This is exactly what I was thinking when I read your original post. Better now than later man, if she's that weak to have her own opinions on to the next.

That sucks.

How long were you together?

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I was with her since June, she seemed like the first girl I could have laid the foundations for a serious relationship with, but I guess it's not to be.

I'm on strict no contact, blocked her friends as well as of yesterday because I saw an innocuous photo that still managed to cut me up. Haven't spoken since monday and I intend to keep it that way.

I know she'll call some day and I hope to be well and truly moved on so I can tell her where to get off.

I think you're right, but some things were said in the heat of emotion. That sounded perhaps more spiteful than I intended, but I was hurting from her lack of respect and seemingly immature reaction. I think there must have been someone else on the scene, I've accepted it and I am moving on.

The no contact and blocking is for me, I know for sure that I would not be in the place I am if I was still in contact and able to see her profile and her activity. It's really difficult sometimes but what would contacting her or viewing her page achieve other than setting me back and hurting me? I question it sometimes but deep down I know that nc is the only way for me to have a clean break and not torment myself.

Plus, if I contacted her now there would always be the hidden agenda of me wanting her back and I feel I am still currently unable to view the relationship objectively without emotion. Because it has suddenly been taken from me, it has been placed on a pedestal in my mind.

I agree on this - but only if the girl is worth it.. It's one thing to care for 1 person the most, tho if you know it's not going to work, I believe it's better to let it be and cut all ties. I once was in a relationship with a girl I loved to bits, extraordinary connection but definitely "freak" type.. It took a while to understand she's absolutely toxic for me, in such cases it's GTFO ASAP.
This situation strikes me like one of the ones you deep down just know it's better to move on..

Yeah, there's an insane part of me that wants to contact her or for her to contact me, but the stronger feeling is that I know contacting her will achieve absolutely nothing and could just set me back to square one. I'm also not expecting her to contact me nor am I waiting for it.

NC sometimes works to get someone back, but it should never be used for that purpose because you'll just crumble if they eventually don't. NC has allowed me to speed up the healing process a remarkable amount in just a week and a half.

Haha I'm a mass of contradictions in this thread. My emotions feel a lot more settled now, they were up and down, hurt and loss, bitterness and anger. I feel calmer and bitterness and revenge is no longer on the agenda.

She doesn't want to be with me, may she find happiness elsewhere and I must learn from this experience. Got a date with a smokin' hot girl next week. I'll get through it, she's in my thoughts but it's getting less and less.

Thanks for the sage words, appreciated.