How to respond when a girl wants "to be friends"?



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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 2:26 pm 
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How should you reply to a text, which is basically going along the line of "I just want to keep our relationship on the friendship level". What would be the way to correctly reply to this in order to:

1. not sound desparate/lame (I am a bit disappointed, but absolutely not desparate)
2. come out with a winning hand so that she feels a bit awkward/bad about the text (maybe to reconsider?)

Thanks guys!


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 3:02 pm 
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What did you text to her to get her to say this?

My recommendation would be to tell her, "Cool. You can be my wingman then!" or something like that.

Take her to be your wingman, hit on other girls in front of her. If she's your actual friend and not just blowing you off.

That is literally the best way to get her re-interested (other than disappearing for a while and remaking yourself).

But you should also actually be trying to hit on these other girls.


What prompted that response from her?


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 3:04 pm 
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"Yeah, that's fine. I was thinking the same thing."

You show you are cool with it, don't over-react, appear confident and make it sound like you don't need her (cat string theory). Later on, since you are "just friends", ask her advice about a girl you are taking out on a date, like a place to go or if a certain present would suit her style. This keeps the cat string going and helps you display value by basically showing you have other options besides her.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 3:06 pm 
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The only problem I see with that, Il-Cavalieri, is that it seems like his text immediately before that was romantic in nature.

So if he's like, "Let's go on a date!"

And she responds, "I want to keep things on a friendship level"

and he goes, "I was thinking the same thing"

She's going to think he's crazy and/or lying or just has the weakest frame ever.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 5:09 pm 
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I was thinking about responding sth on the line of "Yeah, I was totally thinking we were on the friendship. I mean, whoa, we only know each other for a couple of days"


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 5:20 pm 
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"As long as you promise not to get jealous..."

I used this when I girl I was hooking up with got back with her ex and she asked if we could still be friends. Of course we didn't stay friends, but she contacted me a few months later when her and her ex were on the rocks again.

Don't expect to really remain friends.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 5:31 pm 
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Quote:
The only problem I see with that, Il-Cavalieri, is that it seems like his text immediately before that was romantic in nature.

So if he's like, "Let's go on a date!"

And she responds, "I want to keep things on a friendship level"

and he goes, "I was thinking the same thing"

She's going to think he's crazy and/or lying or just has the weakest frame ever.
Yeah, you're right. Poor planning on my part without knowing the whole story.

Still, the principle still applies. Just make changes to fit the specific situation. For example "Yes, I was just sugesting we shoud know each other a bit better. If you want to keep on the friendship level, that's cool".


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 6:34 pm 
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I would change full tact and go along with her. Start developing a friendship with her and make this your obvious intention for developing comfort. Be a good and real friend to her and you will get to meet all her good and real friends. If she is attractive, she will have lots of attractive friends. Long-term sustainable networks pay dividends every month.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 7:30 pm 
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I pulled the LJBF on a chick not too long ago. She's texting me 24/7 and I know I can re-initiate it when I want by being flirty with her or just talking as if nothing is amiss.

LJBF if you feel things sizzling out.

If she gives you the LJBF line just be cool with it, move on and don't hit on her... Use kino though but non-verbal flirting.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 10:57 pm 
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A girl sent me that 2 months ago. I simply answerend: "I don't want to be just friends, I think it's best we break contact if that's the case"

Next day we slept together.


Although I have to say we had kissed a couple of times before and she had been in love with me...


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 12:00 am 
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I used to do the "I can't just be friends with you" thing as a default tactic, and yea it did work sometimes, if you can tell shes considering it then escalate. It's not a bad tactic, if she just walks probably means you had no chance anyway.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 8:12 am 
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stop being so damn nice. stop treating girls like friends and start treating them like girlfriends.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:10 am 
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I learned that the best way to deal with conditions like this is to not give them importance. Just say "yeah, sure, I'm fine with that" in a casual and confident way and you'll end up getting laid most probably by next week.

If you overreact and start begging for a chance, you are definitely gone.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 11:19 am 
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Know what you want and go for that. Seriously, don't fall into her frame if that's not what you want. It's either everything or nothing at all. "I can't be just friends with you" is a great line. You can't control your attraction around her, like for women, attraction is not a choice for us either. It's biological. So just say that to her, and tell her you think she's super hot and that you wouldn't be able to keep your hands off her if you see each other.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 12:22 pm 
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I've never heard this from a girl ever. It just means that they are not attracted to you and being polite and don't want to tell you to fuck off straight away. Unless she's like 16 years old or something.
That's it. Doesn't matter how you respond.
But yeah best way is to make them a wing. And I mean genuinely a wing. At this point consider them as a friend and do not try to win them over with some creepy pua jealousy plot.


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