so this girl i've been dating for about a month now pulled this one on me tonight via text. did i handle this the right way?

her: btw, you've got competition. a 22yr old in my architecture class (we're both 27).
me: oh yeah? you get his number?
her: no, i don't need his number
me: why not?
her: cause i have you
her: i shouldn't have even mentioned anything. miss you babe.

should i be happy that she appears to feel guilty for trying to make me jealous in the first place? i had no instincts to act insanely jealous, which i guess is a good thing. mildly annoyed even seems like too strong to describe how i felt about her statement. i like this girl, but i wouldn't say i'm falling for her. i guess that in the back of my mind, i see this as experience rather than a courtship.

her: btw, you've got competition. a 22yr old in my architecture class (we're both 27).
me: oh yeah? "i'm going to fuck him up"



then never bring it up again

She was just trying to be cute and say a guy is hitting on her.

You acted beta as fuck.

I disagree. You did the right thing here. You threw it back in her face, which showed extreme confidence. You communicated "If you leave me for another guy, I'll just grab someone else who's just as good as you. No loss."

For what it's worth, the fact that she did this to you shows that she really likes you. She's trying to get your attention by running game on you, in effect. She's showing her preselection.

She was just teasing dude.. A small test; you took it the wrong way. Just move on.. It means absolutely nothing.

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Yeah, she was just teasing.

Just ignore it. That's what I do, don't reinforce negative behaviour like stupid mind games like that.

Her: "Some guy asked me out for coffee! I ran away."
Me: *Ignores*

Then again, I knew these women weren't going to ditch or cheat on me.

it means nothing unless you guys have not had sex yet and even then who knows. I think your response was fine.

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Now girls like to see you jealous over them, especially if they have feelings for you, trust me.

But I've went through that and I have now learned to become a rock. Don't be affected, just ignore or reply with a "and...?". She'll get the message, no girl is stupid enough to let a small detail slip under the carpet and be kept there forever.

"I bet he does! You should beg him to have coffee with you after class.. I could you use the peace and quite"

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I had a girl tell me some shit like this once... The dude left her a voicemail. Sounded like a pathetic dweeb lol he took her out for dinner and she came over after and fucked me.

I don't think you've got anything to even think about. The guy might not even exist. Hell, it might just have been some dude who said hi to her. The way you played it off was fine. Just get her over to your house and fuck her.... Sounds like she's waiting for you to do something.

Yeah she was testing to see if you really like her or not. She didn't get the response she was hoping for but its probs good cos she'll want to battle to get you there, thus she will invest more blah blah.

Shes probs a bit nuts with her self esteem swinging in big highs and lows and occasionally has a desperate need for reassurance about how likeable she is.

Sounds like you do like her but are holding back cos she does shit like this. You like her more than you think tho otherwise u wouldn't be on here.

I would say be prepared to completely cut this girl out if she does something that really annoys you. It will teach her not to do it again and show her to respect you more.

thanks for all the replies guys. they gave me a lot to think about. honestly, there have been a few moments where i've seriously considered just breaking it off due to certain annoying things about her behavior, complications at work (we both work at the same restaurant), etc. but another part of me wants to stick around and learn as much as possible from our interactions so i can bring that knowledge into future relationships. i feel okay doing this because at this point we both know there is a expiration date on this thing. i'm planning on going to school in a different state next fall, so we both know that's about as long as this thing will last.

I do not think girls should go to trial you like it or not, girls like a very simple person, will be in on the demeanor manifested. And once you go to trial, the ultimate girl like you, but she knows you try her intentions, she will be very angry, and even ignore you too!

It's a shit test. She wants to see how invested you are.

You played it well. Another option would be ignoring it completely, or amplifying it by saying something like "he sounds hot, hit it" and then moving on with your day.

God, that shit annoys me to be honest. They all do this move. She thinks she wants you to invest more (but secretly hoped you'd play it exactly like you did).

Well done.

If she does this kind of thing often, it's a red flag. Once in a while is no big deal.

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you did fine... not sure how someone could say this is "beta as fuck"... dont worry about it either.

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