So I've known this girl for around 8 months. We were friends for around 5 months until things got a bit offhand and we managed to get really close to each other. I gave 100% honesty and she did the same. We talked 24/7. Before she traveled, we kissed and did some other stuff for 2 nights, but not sex. She traveled for 2 months, we SPAM the whole time from good morning to good night. She got attached, so did I. We would talk for around 10 hours per day.

Now she came back. We hooked up the first night and the second, but things started to get worse. I was placed in some awkward situations. No sex was going on but it was planned to happen anytime, we felt it and she said it herself.

Two days ago, she suddenly felt really down and told me that she wants to stop hooking up and return to really close friends. I wanted to admit that I started having feelings for her and get with her. However, yesterday night the worse thing in my life happened. We were sleepy, tired, and the mood was bad as hell but I couldn't stand it so I spoke up. I told her that I liked her and this is the first time I feel something like that towards a girl. She told me she's not ready and that she doesn't want any relationships from now until maybe years. She wants her next relationship before she graduates (after 3 years) so she gets instantly married. She also said that I wasn't the problem, she would consider me the first to date if she was ready, but she wasn't. She said the problem was with her, not with me, I chose wrong.

I had nothing to say but I pressured her a bit for one shot for a relationship and told her to take her time to think about it but she said that I don't understand her. She does not want any type of commitment.

Now we are talking like friends, we haven't talked much today. I want this girl. What should I do? I really need help right now because I'm feeling down. What's the best way to get her back or at least hook up with her because sex does it all. What should I do? How should I act?

Any kind of help is HEAVILY appreciated

Thanks

Talking 10 hours a day is a really bad sign. You are needy as fuck.

Whenever a girl says "it's not you, it's me" it usually means the sex was bad and you are boring. She gave excuses about college etc.

Learn from this. You shouldn't be having such regular contact with girls. A daily text and a few phone calls a week is ok but not 10 hours a day contact. You didn't give her chance to miss you.

Brother I know the feeling I've been there not the exact same situation, but close. What I did is I talked to this girl all day everyday I wasn't needy I just enjoyed talking to her and she enjoyed talking to me, but constant txting back and forth all is what girls do with eachother and as a guy if you do that you're putting yourself ti the girlfriend trap. Next time just don't be so availiable make her want you a bit more. I don't really know what you can do with this girl, but hopefully that helps out for future situations. Good luck!

Problem is we seriously ENJOYED talking to each other as gunfighter mentioned. I can give you that I was a bit boring in group conversations because all I was thinking about was confessing to her, and didn't talk much. Isn't there any solution to this problem? Can't I win her back?

And yes she gave excuses about college. She said she has a hard major and she's going to have to go out every day and meet new people and that she can't stay committed in the meantime. But she won't get into any relationships.

What can I say? You're right about enjoying to talk to each other. I should've made myself less available to make her want me. She told me to hook up while she was in another country (she won't hook up though) and she said she was ok with it and that she doesn't want to be a cockblock. I want her that's all what I care about. Thanks for the response.

Its human nature you enjoy talking to someone you enjoy their company why wouldn't you talk to them and hang out? Unfortunately as we've both found out that's a recipe for getting friendzoned. What I woukd reccomend is you go out and meet other girls before you oneitits yourself even more then you already have good luck!

So you're basically saying I should move on?
What if I am REALLY into the girl?
Isn't there a way to get her back?

I was thinking of backing off for some time, work on myself and see where my life is heading. During this time, I'll act as her casual close friend and that I didn't get affected by the talk. Then I can come back stronger and show her that I'm serious about her. What do you think?

I'm not saying close the door totally on her you like her she didn't tell you fck off or anything like that. To me it sounds like she wants space so give her space definitly don't crowd her, and ya do what you said get your shit together act unaffected by it go out meet new girls just enjoy yourself. As far as going back to I would advise against that. You gotta give her something to make her wanna come back to you something that makes her think damn this guy seems really fun and exciting I missed the boat, and have her try and win you back. Now I don't know all the details of your situation, and I don't know if that's a possibilty for you, but I would definitly say that's the best course of action. Here's an example I don't know if you've seen the movie yes man with Jim Carey, but there's a part where he runs into his ex wife at the airport with his new gf she's like oh what are you doing here he's like of hi this is my gf we just pick random places that we would like to visit every weekend and go. The ex wife is noticably intrigued. That may be a dumb example, but that's the kind of intrigue you need to spark and make her feel. So I'd say take sometime improve yourself like you said and try and take that course of action. Kind of a long winded response, but that's my honest opinion and what I personally think is best, but I'm sure they're people that know better then me as well.

Hahahaha yeah I know that part of the movie, it's perfect.
My plan is to completely back off and work on myself now. Probably strengthen myself and my surroundings and work on myself more.

Thanks a lot for this response, gave me a little hope.

No worries brother I've been there too. After I broke up with my last ex I took it pretty hard, but once I got over it I realized I really needed to improve myself in general. So I looked up some self improvement websites the ones I found to be the most helpful were www.Livestrong.com whether you're a Lance fan or not there is some really inspiring self help guides on there for everything under the sun. Another one my personal favorite and I've reccomended it numerous times on here is www.badboylifestyle.com. Its a pua website, but also has a lot of self improvement inner game improvement advice. Do like you said stay away for a while straighten yourself out come back a brand new man and get her back. Keep in touch on here and let me know how it goes good luck!

Thanks a lot for the websites man, I really appreciate it, I'll check them out soon.

She changed her picture to a quote saying how people meet people, get really close, then suddenly things become awkward and you end up losing that person. I know it's targeted at me.

I'll keep this thread updated.

no worries man hopefully that helps. I've been there and I know how much situations like this suck, but as far as the pic goes or any fb update for that matter its best to just not think and not assume anything or you'll drive yourself crazy over thinking everything, but with this particular instance think of the positive she posted that pic there's a good chance its directed at you she's thinking about you you're on her mind. You should let that motivate you in your self improvement. Best advice I can give you is if you can't put a positive spin on this situation don't think about it. Just focus on how much better of a person you're gonna be when this is done.

I can't really think of a way to thank you for following up with me until now. I really appreciate it.
Today nothing happened. I felt like it was a week that I haven't talked to her when I suddenly realized that it's been 2 days only. I'm in a positive mood now, getting way much better and just living life. I have no expectations, it's either she comes back or not. I'll keep this thread updated day by day; after all, I might be able to solve a ONEITIS problem and be the first guy to get a girl back in such a situation.

Thanks again

Its easy to get the girl back, the problem is your mentality has to be authentically uninterested in which case you wont likely want her back.

No worries man we're all here to improve our game! Now if you wanna take a crack at getting her back you gotta like you said improve your mindset. Positive attitude is good keep that up.at 1st a day or 2 feels like forever, but you'll get past that. I'm gonna say once you get your inner game tuned up what I'm gonna recomend is you go out and meet other girls, because 1st of all who knows maybe you'll meet a cool girl thatll blow your mind and you'll like her better. 2nd just by doing that you'll be putting your new found attitude/social skills into play. Say you learn different convo techniques and social techniques you don't wanna be trying them out for the 1st time with the girl you're trying to get back. Here's something to try this is exactly how I started and I think it'll be a starting point for you. Read up on the the articles posted on badboy lifestyle.com then once you get a little comfortable with that challenge yourself go out get a totally new hairstyle go to a hairdresser that has hot girls working there make it your goal to get her # before you leave then you have a new hairstyle which will make you feel better and its a good starting point where else do you have 20 min-30min where you are all the girl is concentrating on? That's how I got started and it boosted my confindence sky high. Anyway that's what worked for me and I think it'll be a good starting point for you too. Just find ways to challenge yourself socially and become a more well rounded person. Good luck