Is Narcissism Sexy?



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 Post subject: Is Narcissism Sexy?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 5:27 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jul 19, 2013 11:34 am
Posts: 53
Hey guys, haven't been posting around here for a while as I figured I should spent less time reading around the forum and spend more time going out and practice.

Recently I realise a major change in my character; I transformed from a person with really low really self-esteem, to a person who can look himself in the mirror and say "Damn I'm hot!". We all know confidence is sexy, and this is a good thing but I have a feeling I am taking this a little bit too far, to certain degree a form of narcissism.

Sometimes in interaction I find myself saying lines like this "See the hot guy around school next time? That's me." or "I'm the coolest person around here." There was once a girl told me that I sure have a very big ego, to which I replied while laughing "I know, I can be overconfident at times."

But that got me thinking, am I taking this too far? To the extent I might appear arrogant and overconfident that might kill off attraction.

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 Post subject: Re: Is Narcissism Sexy?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 5:51 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 28, 2008 10:37 pm
Posts: 215
Sounds like you are breaking free a bit from social constraints. Society wants men to feel like they cant be confident. All you are doing is saying you know you have a lot to offer. Women do this without any guilt at all and often times they do it in a much more malicious way than men. How many times have you heard a woman talk about some guy that was hitting on her. By bringing it up she is letting you know she is of high value. The difference is that her motivation is to elicit jealousy from you. When you are overly confident and maybe a bit cocky I doubt it is your goal to make her jealous.


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 Post subject: Re: Is Narcissism Sexy?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2013 6:11 pm 
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Quote:
Hotchkiss identified what she called the seven deadly sins of narcissism:

Shamelessness: Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways.
Magical thinking: Narcissists see themselves as perfect, using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others.
Arrogance: A narcissist who is feeling deflated may reinflate by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else.
Envy: A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person's ability by using contempt to minimize the other person.
Entitlement: Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable SPAM and automatic compliance because they consider themselves special. Failure to comply is considered an attack on their superiority, and the perpetrator is considered an "awkward" or "difficult" person. Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage.
Exploitation: Can take many forms but always involves the exploitation of others without regard for their feelings or interests. Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed.
Bad boundaries: Narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist are treated as if they are part of the narcissist and are expected to live up to those expectations. In the mind of a narcissist there is no boundary between self and other.
there are varying degrees of narcissism, and not too many people find arrogance or insecurity that surfaces in the form of abuse or bragging very attractive, or when others are selfish enough to take advantage of other people or make unreasonable demands

it's not necessarily that narcissism is attractive, but narcissists are usually more likely to have more sexual partners just because you likely won't remain passive if you believe you deserve a partner because you are superior, that doesn't necessarily make you more attractive, just more likely to not sit there wondering if someone likes you then not do anything out of fear, instead you just love yourself and other people don't matter and of coarse they love you, you're perfect, they are beneath you

this is also quite a grey subject since there are varying degrees, you don't have to be absolutely head over heels for yourself and believe you are gods gift to humanity and everyone is scum just be a bit narcissistic, there are some healthy levels of narcissism and a little bit of an ego and some high self esteem can actually be pretty good for your social life


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