Guys,

I shouldn't really care about this, but a weird situation has caused me to ask myself a few questions tonight! I just wonder if you could give me your views on it please?

This random girl on Facebook posted in a student forum seeking help improving her English. I'm English, so I private messaged her, and threw a bit of "game" into the proceedings!

This only started a few days ago. It was just basic chatting, all cool, nothing out of the ordinary. As the Fbook conversation progressed, I flirted mildly, she laughed, said I was cool etc. I suggested she give me her number, with a view to hanging. She was a bit slow to respond, so I said it was cool if she wasn't down with hanging out, and she should just be straight with me if she wasn't feeling it! She said she didn't want to hang out, as she had a bf, and that she was only looking for new friends.

I replied that although she seemed like a nice girl, I wasn't interested in just another friendship, and so I unfriended her. This wasn't to be mean, but just because I wanted to be straight about what I wanted (i.e. POTENTIALLY hanging with her & MAYBE seeing if anything else developed). In short, I didn't want games or BS, especially as we didn't even know each other!

Then she went CRAZY! She's French, so I'll translate what she wrote, but it was basically :

"You don't want to be friends?!"
"So you're clearly only after getting in my pants!"
"You're pathetic, stupid, a ridiculous human being. And you're ugly too! I can't believe you thought a guy like YOU could EVER get with a girl like ME! Not even in your dreams!"
"Go and see a whore! It'll do you some good!"

I defended myself, saying I'm a good guy and that she shouldn't judge me when she's never even met me! I said that it's not my problem if she's lacking in brain cells. That she's fucking crazy and needs help! (I realise this last part was (MAYBE) a little harsh, but I was just trying to defend myself!)

I'm probably more bothered about this than I should be. But I was genuinely AMAZED by the sheer hate and aggression!

Any thoughts on this?!

Cheers guys!

Well, I kinda think you messed up. It does seem a bit skeevy to chat up girls you don't know by saying you could help them with their English, and then when they say they have a boyfriend, be like yeah, I didn't really want to help you with your English, nor do I want to be your friend, I only wanted to see if we might be more than that. I mean, you can think that and do that, no problem, I just don't think you should tell HER that. It wouldn't have been much effort from your part to keep her as a FB friend for a couple of days longer to let the interaction die out without killing it by unfriending her.

Yes, she totally overreacted with her comments, but you did bring it on yourself a bit, and then you even threw gas to the fire and surely made her think even more strongly that she was right about you when you turn mean and say she's crazy and needs help. First your chats are nice and friendly and possibly flirty, and then when she accuses you of something (agressively, yes), you totally flip out and change from nice to nasty, what she's thinking is "he's such a douche, I'm glad I didn't meet him". Whereas if you had now after her (crazy and aggressive) accusations been still friendly and patient even if it kills you to do it, what she would've been thinking would've been something like "oh, maybe i'm overreacting, how embarrassing to show my hurt like this", and to use quite childish terminology: you win. This time she won in a way, because she feels good about avoiding a prick like you. If you had calmly deflected her attack, you would win, because she's left feeling unsatisfied.

I mean, it's not about winning or losing, but it's always better to be the calm, civilised one.

Bad move bro. Nothing more i could say

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if you get yourself to k close I can get you to f close private message me for details. Works like magic

Fair enough. Thanks for the feedback guys!