Hi Guys,

I'm a European guy that has just moved to Montreal, after spending 3 years working in Argentina.

I'm succesful, relatively good looking, and normally my game is not too bad. Or maybe I'm just spoiled after being tall and blond in Argentina for too long.

I met a girl a month ago, through a comon friend here in Montreal. I've been chatting with her a lot before I even came to Montreal, so all in all i've been in contact with her for 3 months or so.

Since I came here, we've been on 5-6 dates or so. I kissed her on the 3rd date I believe, but couldnt take it to the next level. And hvent been able to ever since. Everytime im trying to get her back to my place, she has an excuse for leaving. Every time we meet now though, we kiss all the time, and she started like 2 dates ago to take the initiative to kiss, hold hands etc.

I believe, that she is living with what I believe is her ex-boyfriend, or maybe they are even still a couple. I havent brought it up, as I really didnt want to make her feel uncomfortable.

I took her to nice restaurants, ballgames, parties etc. Everytime I see her, she is really warm. kissing, touching, etc. But I can feel that she is starting to lose interest, and she just found a bad excuse for cancelling our date tomorrow, without coming up with a new date etc.

When I look back at our texts, i quickly realize that i've always been WAY more pushy than her. always coming up with suggestions for dates, telling her that I am starting to like her, etc etc. Yes, very stupid move, on the edge of being desperate.

I am confident that she actually likes me, but I know that she has some unfinished business. A comon friend told me that she believes that the main reason that she's staying with her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, is because she cant afford her own place, and has too much pride to move home to her parrents.
As I do have a pretty stable income myself, I could easily afford to help her getting her own place, if that would make her move away and finish whatever she hasnt been able to finish yet. Obviously I havent mentioned anything about that, but she knows that I have a good job.

She called me yesterday, and said that she was sorry for not responding my lasts texts, and bla bla. She said she has been sick, too much work, problems in her personal life etc etc. I kinda tried to get some info out of her, and asked her directly, if she still had interest in seeing me. She answered "Yes of course, I like you, we're always having a good time together" or something like that. Very politically correct.

Anyways, it's obvious that I already like her MUCH more than she likes me. I mean I would start a relationship tomorrow.

So I'm a little bit unsure about how to move from now. SHould I just try to forget her, go out and have fun and sleep with other girls? Should I try to make her jealous, by posting some random photos of me having fun at parties etc? Should I try to meet up with her soon, and tell her that she has to select which side she's on, telling her that I assume that she has some unfinished business? Or should I just try and eat my emotions, and make sure that everytime I see her, she has the best day of her life, hoping that it would make her get out of her current relationship with a guy that she most likely doesnt like?

I really like this girl, and I want to make it work. But I might have lost the game already. I sent a stupid drunk text the other day saying that I would make her feel like the happiest girl in the world, if she gave me a chance, or something like that. Worst move ever made, I wanted to kill myself 2 seconds after i sent it. It just screamed "desperation", I know..

I hope you guys can come up with some advices hot to get her interest back!

Cheers

Well I think you should continue dating other girls and enjoy that part. Your love and strong emotions for her should only be given to her if she reciprocates and not where it's only one sided. There are a lot of people out there both girls and guys that use each other for certain needs. Don't fall into the trap where she is using you only for someone that can keep her comfortable and occupied.

I never like to play games, but while you are dating other women, i would drop hints that you are still on the market available and that you've been on good dates and see how she reacts. It sounds like you are very much into this girl but be careful not to go completely head over heels for her since that can come back to bite you in the ass.

Cheers, I appreciate your comment. yes unfortunately I rushed into this without her neither wanting to or being ready for it. And since I've been a bit spoiled over the past few years, I'm not really reacting well when im not getting what I want Yea I better try to get my obsession out of the system, go and try to date other girls in the meantime, and ignore her for a bit. I'm most likely seeing her mid of next week. Should I just act like always, being cool, kissing her, having fun with her etc? Or should I try and get her to talk, get her to open up about her situation?

No worries brother, I am sure I will be asking this exact same question in few weeks or months from the forum but it really has an impact when someone else says it, you know? But as far as the two options you mentioned, i would act about the same meaning you should still be the friendly guy who she is familiar with but i would start becoming little less and less available to her and make sure it's subtle and not a drastic change from one meeting to the other. If you are used to holding her and kissing her and cuddling her well maybe stop cuddling her, and maybe kiss her less with her initiating the kissing only. Also, when she is kissing you, be the first that pulls away make her wonder why you are becoming more unavailable. The trick is to not have her think completely that you are not into her because that might have the opposite affect over time. Make sure to smile and make her really doubt that you are into her. I feel at the initial part of the attraction its very important to play this right otherwise the flame kind of burns out and you just about get put into friends zone.

Good luck brother i hope you get her but do it smart.

haha, that is funny. especially the text message. i’ve done that before too, but at the end of relationship. i don’t think you should worry about it. meet a few women at the same time. when you go out only with one woman, it’s really not a good way to do it. you might meet three women at the same time, two will not work out and the third one will, or none will work out. but at least you will not be desperate the way you write.

True, seeing only 1 sucks... but well problem is that I just moved here, and I dont really know anybody yet, only a few colleagues etc. and majority are not singles. it makes it a bit tougher, to go out in the weekend with peeps, meeting girls etc.

Hi guys,

so, things took a small turn. To the good side though I believe!

As said, I invited this girl to a UFC even. she cancelled on me, with a bad excuse.

I took another girl to the event, actually a common friend, that the girl I like, knows as well.

As soon as my friend posted a picture from the event on instagram, this girl I like texted me immediately "Hey, having fun at the event??". I replied "having so much fun" etc.

I could tell immediately that this girl got kind of jealous, as I brought another girl to the event!!

So now, I am actually meeting this girl that I like on tuesday for a hockey game.

I am positive that her life is a mess, and I have an idea that she is not only cheating on her "boyfriend" or whatever he is, with me. just an idea, got nothing to back it up.

So at the hockey game on tuesday, should I just be cool with her, enjoy it, making sure that she has a great evening, and let her drive home after the game? Or should I take her for a walk after the game, and try to make her open up, maybe even confronting her with the fact that I know that she has a boyfriend?

I think I can deal with things on tuesday without getting emotional, but not sure though. last time I saw her I got pretty emotional, as I described.

I really feel that I need her to fight a bit to get my attention, but im not sure how to do that, while being at a hockey game!
as you guys mentioned, I could let her take the initiative while kissing, pull back after the kissing before her, not taking her hand etc.

Any advise will be very appreciated!

From a Snoop Dogg song:
It's best to look at chicks who are living with a guy as married.

It's possible to game girls who are living with a guy. It's even possible to sleep with girls who are living with a guy, but making them your girlfriend is virtually *impossible*. They will suck the life out of you, and it is completely not worth it. I've tried it before (with single chicks living with a guy and chicks living with their boyfriend), but nowadays when I learn a chick is living with a guy, I drop her like a sack of porcupines. If you've slept with them or otherwise closely connected with them previously and you do this, they will sometimes move out.... Seriously, though, it is a complete waste of your time and energy. I understand that you're going to have a hard time following this advice....

Why don't you go out and meet new girls instead of using the excuse "I don't know anyone here."?????

Social circle game is putting you in a place of scarcity. The amount of women you have to choose from is minimal. And if you fuck up with one, you fuck it up with all of them. Go out and meet new people....

I agree its not rational seeing her again, at all.

But well, me telling her now "sorry gave your ticket away" isnt a nice move i believe. And dropping her while having a sense of hope sucks for me..

What about cornering her after the game? I'm becoming very sure that she is just staying with him because she doesnt have the money to move out. Cornering her after the game, telling her that I know her situation, and tell her to make up her mind and come back to me at a later stage, might work?

I will see other girls for sure. I went on 2 dates on saturday, but other girls are pretty much fading compared to this girl. Which I hate obviously.

I think at this stage it is probably too late. You have to show less interest though if you want a chance. Also, 5-6 dates and only kissing? Unless you guys are like 18, she seems too wound up to enjoy life to quote ed norton from rounders.

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Im worried that it might be too late as well. Im 28 shes 26. Yes less interest might be the key. I think what is holding her back from sleeping with me is that she's living with a boyfriend or ex boy friend. maybe she can easier justify kissing only. No idea. There has been some tension. I mean she bites my lip etc when we are out.

She has been texting me all morning today. I've replied short one liners, tried being a bit mysterious, let her guess.

Anyways, I'm meeting with her tomorrow for the hockey game. Any idea about how I can try to build some sexual attraction, except just trying to be less interested, letting her take the initiative? Anything I can say or do to make her think "Wtf? maybe he dont want me anyways? maybe im not his top priority anymore?"

You had her over your place? Get her over there again and just confront her and be honest. At this stage I think it's the only option. Just be like, I'm looking for more intimacy or whatever that this isn't going to work like this.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Oh, and this is very important - if you get her at your place and she does want to sleep with you, no matter what the circumstances are, make sure you do it. Trust me, you'll be a lot safer and happier afterwards.

So she is coming to my place around 5pm today, hockey is at 7pm. I have ignored her, and she started to spam me yesterday. "Im so excited!!! are you excited??" and stuff like that. I just replied in short lines, just being nice. Today I obviously havent wrote her, I'm trying to show very little interest but still being nice.

She can be a little naiv, I made a cardtrick once with her and she was blown away. Im thinking of doing a trick with her today at my place before the game, to try and raise the interest.

I'll sit her down at a table, ask her to pick a card, and put it back into the deck. Shuffle till she says stop, and spread the cards out on the table. Then put two of my fingers on her neck, and the grab her arm with my other hand. Telling that her pulse, and her arm movement, will reviel the card. Obviously I know the card from the beginning. Then look her deep in her eyes, and move her arm above the cards, and pick the card she picked. I have never tried it, but I think it might work?

Sure, if I can get her to bed, I will obviously do it. but i wont suggest it etc, I have made myself look like a huge desperate fool already. I'll try to make her make the moves as much as possible, pull away from the kisses before her, etc. It is OBVIOUS to see, that now when I show less interest, and she found out that I brought another girl to the UFC, she is showing MUCH more interest.

Any other advice on what I should do on my hockey date, to gain her interest, and maybe eventually make her sleep over? Her car will be at my building during the hockey game, just as a side note. But when coming back to my place, I believe taking her to her car instead of asking her to go up to my condo, will be safer.

Thanks for all the advice btw!