I am starting to get really disappointed sarging at clubs. I've been single for past month or so and been out in bars and clubs and I gotta be honest girls are just as shallow as guys when it comes to looks. I am not a bad looking guy, 6'3, Ripped, dress well but I am bald have a big head and nose and I m 34. I've been hanging out with couple friends of mine and it's crazy how girls flock to them and me it's almost as if they just look and look away.

It's pretty frustrating since I am not shy, I can speak well and have charisma but unfortunately I don't seem to have the look girls find appealing in a guy.

My ex wife was very attractive, so was my ex gf but I am starting to think that I have the look only certain girls like but for most it's not in my cards. I hate feeling sorry for myself, but damn it feels like it's a pretty up hill climb just to meet someone and build attraction.

Do you guys have similar experiences? If so what did you do to change your status?

Change your game? Try online gaming or day game when you can actually talk to someone without social pressure?

How long have you been practicing PU in the field? Just this month? It could be any number of things. If you see yourself as having a big nose and big head then maybe you're conveying to people around you that you feel less of a person and you have some faults you can't accept? You might need to work on your inner game a bit more if you're speaking so badly about yourself.

Someone linked a study here a while ago that covered what a woman goes for in a mans physical appearance. 80% of women looked to average looking guys for relationships but above average looking men for one night stands. If these stats are right then looks aren't everything. Chances are you're at least average looking with, as you say, a good physique which is a definite plus!

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Hey SN, Thanks for the response. Well I am not sure that I convey anything negative when I am out at clubs. I stand up straight with confidence, I smile, keep eye contact and overall put myself out there. I am honestly not sure what the issue is?

For example yesterday, I was there with 4-5 of my friends at one point this buddy of mine that seems to attract everything in his local area is chatting these two girls at the bar and he motions me to come over. I walk over with another buddy of mine and we start to chat them up. Everything seems to be going ok, he talks to the taller one I talk to the shorter one and we are hitting it off. The shorter one suggest we go dance, so we go to the dance floor and the taller one globs on to my buddy and they are grinding up on one another on the dance floor and my girl is sort of keeping her distance.

Then out of the crowd emerge few other girls that were friends with the two and they start to dance with the shorter one and start to pull her away from me. I sort of hang out for few minutes to see if she would come back but never really made the effort so I left.

I am not sure if at the point of walking to the dance floor I should have been more directive and took control of the situation instead of just being walked out there by her. I guess I could have been building little bit more of an attraction too. The thing that irritates me is that my buddy didn't have to do neither, the girl was into him without him saying much.

I've tried online dating and have had mixed results. The biggest issue about online dating is that in the area where I live, the options are not very good. I've hooked up with one girl I met online but honestly she was a little chubby. She was ok but the other girl I met was also chubby.

I guess what I am trying to say is that if an opportunity presents itself I am quick to jump on it. I feel if there is initial look, attraction or some sort of a hint from a girl that she likes me I will roll in on that and make the best of it. My situation however, is different at my point in life. I am reading bunch of books on, body language, NLP, PUA and I am getting a lot of great pointers but I feel that if I am not getting any green lights, hell even yellow lights I am going to start to lose my confidence.

Are you serious man? You are 6'3" and have a good body and you are complaining about looks mattering? I don't mean to be harsh, but dude, looks are not your problem, AT ALL. There are TONS of girls where 6'3" and ripped is all they even care about; if anything, you probably have a bigger edge at a club than a decent looking guy who is 5'8". Next time you roll into the club, walk in like you own the place. You are a big guy, so play the larger than life persona; it will get you success. Also try online dating; I am 5'8" and losing my hair and I clean up on there. I wouldn't even have time to put my pants on if I were 6'3".

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Haha thanks brother! But if that really was the case I would see the signs, I however don't and that is very frustrating. So the only difference that I see, when I am out in the day is that girls around me give off the vibe of feeling uncomfortable. I am not sure that I come off as intimidating or maybe they have that sexual tension? Either way, for a while I was sort of telling myself that it's more of a attraction tension that people have towards one another when they are into each other but after seeing my buddies slay around me with minimal effort I start to assume it's very much looks that they have over me.

I am trying to change up things slightly from how I approach, to dress to overall me and I am not giving up it's just i am feeling stuck at times without knowing if it's something I can fix or just kind of not worry about it and just enjoy myself despite not leading to anything at the end of the night.

Fury by the way brother, where you from?

6ft 3??

come on dude, im probably uglier and im 5ft 9 inch and i do pretty well. I have crooked ears, bad acne and the worst smile ever.

I can relate though, you start to compare yourself to everyone:

"oh, hes one of those natural smooth black guys, some girls will open black guys"

"look at those tattoo's that guy has got?! , that's the only reason why he is kissing that girl, cos he is doing the trendy pea cocking, girls like guys with tats"

"this fucker looks like Zach Morris from saved by the bell! no fair "

If you think you have a big nose, get nose surgery, if you think your baldness, wear a trendy hat:



But it doesn't matter.

My point is that you will find a new excuse even if you were to solve these self "flaws" about yourself.

Everybody knows a dude that is just deluded and actually believes he is good looking when he just isn't, that doesn't matter, the girls always get sucked into his reality because of that.

Now, i'm not saying looks don't matter, they are half the battle , but come on, tall, ripped and in shape. There is a deeper issue in there. Probably taking it so bloody serious and very outcome dependent.

You probably get REALLY jealous when your friend's take home girls too.

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Your buddy portrayed all the qualities of an alpha before you even entered the set. That's why he had his girl all over him and indicated that he was interested in her by motioning for his friend to occupy her friend.

He approached.
He engaged a group of women and wasn't phased by it.

Confidence.

He engaged them in a conversation and kept things going.

Interest.

He motioned for his friends to enter the set.

Leadership.

When he was on the dance floor he probably took control and motioned for the woman to get close to him and of course she was susceptible to his advances as he demonstrated he was alpha as fuck. Be Alpha As Fuck.

You came into the set when you were called. It doesn't show you as being of especially high value. It was clear your friend was the leader.

When you were on the dance floor you paid too much attention to what your friend was doing because you took note of what he did and had time to process the thought "He's grinding up on that chick already". He had a massive head start in rapport and sexual tension over you so of course he moved things along quicker. You probably seen this and thought "I should be doing that." If you were thinking that and not doing it naturally you were most likely conveying that unconsciously through your body language.

Your mind affects your body. If you're unhappy you convey that through body language. If you're happy the same applies. People pick up on these things unconsciously. If at the back of your mind you're focused on specific features that bother you people will notice this. You need to forget about it and realise that it's not a big deal. Hell, if your ex was a HB9 then why can't you get another HB9? You're obviously not as bad as you think you are.

Work on your inner game man.

I live in nyc now but have lived in other harder places to game like south florida and NJ burbs

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Haha Pebble, yeah you are right and I don't necessarily feel jealous per see but I just feel left out if that makes any sense.

Dude I just broke up with my gf about two weeks ago so my confidence department is not very high at the moment. It takes a while so I am slowly trying to build it up. I am however outcome dependent, I am not trying to be but it's very annoying when your bros do well around you and you go home an AFC. I guess it's a self containing fire but man I gotta snap out of it.

SN,

Thanks again for breaking it down man, I think you make some great points. I guess for me when I am in a relationship I loose some of my Alpha male qualities (ladies suck that out of a guy) so everything you detailed made a lot of sense to me. I guess my confidence is surface deep, and I am sure my body language telegraphs that. I am trying to fake it till I make it but it's proving to be more difficult. Now that I think about it, my game is not seductive either but borderline safe. I need to get the fangs out and turn up the heat from beginning.

Your limitations are self-inflicted. In other words, the more an issue you make of your imperfections, the more you'll impede your success with women.

Confident lesser attractive guys game women successfully all the time.

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No time for the old in-out, love, I've just come to read the meter.

Glad you got something from it.

I know all too well what it feels like coming out of a relationship. You get hooked into a boring lifestyle of just being with someone and spending your time with them, not going out as much as you would like to and not socialising as much. You loose your charisma and your social skills if it goes on for too long. Before my relationship I could turn rooms around and I was very much the person everyone wanted to be around when I first started going out with my ex. There were absolute tanks of men at parties I was at who were naturally alpha and there was groups of them but I could still turn things around and have loads of people around me including them. After some months I just stopped going out. Getting back into it PU some of it naturally came back and I was getting numbers and closes within my first week but the level I was at before hasn't come back although I have gotten over some old sticking points.

I hope it comes back to you soon man. Thinking lowly of yourself isn't going to improve anything. You just need to realise that what you see as a big issue really isn't a big deal. You've sealed the deal with plenty of HB9s so obviously it wasn't a big problem for them if at all. As a rule we're first to see our own faults over others... I mean, when was the last time you got into a heated argument and someone tried to get to you by commenting on your nose or head? Probably never unless you mentioned it in the past to them.

in a general alcohol club setting, random approach is generally going to be only effective if a guy is pursuing an equal or slightly lesser looking woman than him; bald is not that bad b/c 40% of men your age are to some degree. A certain number of women will rule you off, especially younger ones. but 30ish +, I would guess only 5 to 10 out of 100 would rule you out b/c of that, speaking in terms of women you find attractive. Obviously the fat ones won't care. But lets say for instance you have a big nose, you can expect a woman with a big chin, or big forehead, or over weight, something of that sort.

If you are average looking, you can expect an average looking female. If you are a 6 it's highly unlikely you are going in to a club and approaching an 8 you don't know and getting anywhere. If you do, it's likely going to have to be mutual friends introducing you where some ones already told her you're this great guy. then you still have to have good game. The other option is stick close to your friends , dress nice, and hopefully someone you like eventually approaches you. Good buddy of mine had that happen. he was 38, bald, about a 5 at best. But he dressed nice and went out several nights a week and eventually had a 22 year old 9 pursue him. When his business slowed she left though.

Yeah wing I think that makes sense brother. It's really hit or miss. I just came back from night out and I gotta say it was much better than last night.

Here is what happened:

I met up with my bros and we pregamed for a few. We walked over to a bar and hung out there for a while. The entire night I did basically what a lot of guys who were posted were saying, I basically showed a lot of confidence and put myself out there. I saw a girl from my gym that I started a conversation few weeks back and I had a chance to talk to her for a while. I asked for her number and she told me that she is still in a relationship with this guy who i've seen at the gym with and she said she appreciated that I asked her. I think if she breaks up with him I will roll in on that. She is HB9 maybe even a 9.5. Incredible looking chick! Since I didn't number close there she was with couple girls friends and I started talking to one of them. She gave me her number, in fact volunteered to give me her number and I had a little conversation with her when we left the club. I will text her tomorrow.

Now the biggest breakthrough was what I witnessed from this guy, that was friends with the HB9. He was this surfer looking dude, he found out we were in the military so he became really chummy with us and started buying us shots. Really cool dude, but this guys confidence was through the roof. He was trying to hook me up and all the bros with random girls all night. I would follow him around the club, he would literally grab girls hair and rub their head and half of them would be like wtf, and the other half would dig it. Fucking Amazing!!! I just learned a great deal from that experience...

Also I got two numbers, talked to shit load of girls and overall I feel 180 from what I was feeling earlier today. I just want to say thank you for giving me some tough love and making me realize that game all starts from within. It happens because we make a conscious decision to do it. I feel some much better I really want to build on this. On top of that, since I had these experiences tonight my text game has also improved and I took chances with couple girls I met on match and got a very good feedback. One can't wait to meet me!

I foking love the game!