We all know the deal about oneitis. "Its just a short term emotional reaction" , "There was just aspect x that you liked about her" , "There's plenty more girls like her".
But now lets look at this example:
You've been going out for several years. Dated perhaps a couple dozen of girls. Eventually you meet one girl that is just.., so fun to be with. You generally have the time of your life with her even though you are fully aware how psychology and emotions on the short term work. Compared to her, every other girl you have ever met just seems so ridiculously boring and uninteresting. And youve guessed it, it doesnt work out.

We can try to cheer eachother up all we want but statistically seen (after several years and a couple dozen of girls youve dated). We can safely conclude that you might not ever meet someone you like as much as her again.

How are we supposed to mentally deal with this harsh truth? Are we supposed to lower our standards and settle with someone we dont really like in order to ever have a normal life besides going out several nights a week when we are 40+, trying to "pick-up" women ? Are we supposed to stay single for the rest of our lifes?

You should have the time of your life before you meet the girl that you consider your oneitis. You sound like someone who needs a women in his life to be happy

What you say is irrelevant. My example also applies to people who are perfectly happy before meeting a girl. Wether you are happy or not has nothing to do with the fact that you can like some girls more than others.

We could also actually argue that we humans ARE infact preprogrammed to be happier while having a partner.

Liking certain girls more than others is not the same as irrationally putting a girl on a pedestal.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Sounds like someone is in love with their ex. Well, welcome to my club.
My ex and I broke it off a month or so ago after 1.5 years. I wanted her to move in with me, so that should tell you how much I cared for this chick.
Now, it feels like other girls are trivial, boring. Even the one I f-closed last night didn't give me anything emotionally. After the deed, I resented her a bit for not being my ex..

Do I believe I am never ever gonna meet any girl like J? Probably true. Whatever my ex and I had will be impossible to repeat exactly. It wouldn't be the same exactly even if I and her met again for the first time tonight. Each relationship is unique in so many ways, and for so many reasons..

But that does not mean you will not meet another girl who, in a different way, you will love as much.
She will be special to you for different reasons. It won't be her eyes, but it will be her lips. It won't be her laughter, but maybe her freckles...
You and her will have different inner jokes, different shared tastes. You will partake in different couple activities. But, at the end of the day, the pride and joy in taking her home and falling asleep next to her will be the same, if not greater.

You will never meet an exact replica of your oneitis, former girlfriend.
But you will meet another specimen of woman, equally worth of your love and respect.
That's how you deal with it.

Hope this helps.

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nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

First off, that wasn't statistical, nor was it truth. Your "statistics" were based on hypothetical dates after a hypothetical breakup. Dude, if you're having a rough time, just say so.

In fact, that was just a matter of perception. There are tons of amazing women out there. There isn't one A+ and a bunch of Bs, so to speak. When you get dumped, your ego is bruised, and as a result your left wondering what is wrong with you. It's smarter to think about what is wrong with her. Clearly you two weren't meant to be, but you don't forget about her flaws, her mistakes, and her problems. That is a nice way of saying you put the pussy on a pedestal. That ex now becomes a Beatrice. She's imagined as perfect, which isn't true, and as a result every flaw you see in other women is magnified by comparison.

My advice? Well I'm dealing with a bad breakup with a girl who might be having my kid. I'm not happy, so I already have a plan. I'm looking for a new job to boost my pay, and saving some extra cash to go on a road trip in a few months. Ever gone more than a hundred miles from home? Do it, call a buddy and go somewhere. I personally recommend going to the closest party school.

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These hos ain't loyal