I feel like i've lost my way in PUA. I started off strong, had a lot going on and more than a few women going on but after the first two weeks back into PU i've been stuck in a rut. I got really drunk one of the nights, sent random messages to some of the women in my phone book and came off as needy. Needless to say I burnt those bridges and basically had to start off from scratch... I also sent some needy messages over FB to some ex's I was working on.

Since I went down in a flaming ball of fire i've found it incredibly hard to remember even the bare basics of PU and apply them to real life scenarios. I've found I can still approach but there's nothing in it for me... I just end up getting oneitise with some random girl that caught my eye and failing to approach even if i'm getting proximity or IOIs. I end up approaching women friends want me to talk to or just random women I really don't give a damn about or even want to close on.

Any suggestions? I think I just snapped and got needy and it's been effecting my game. I can't really pick anyone up because of it.

Ups and downs dude..

Thats life for you - I've been doing this for years and there are still moments when I'll get like this. But it'll only last for one night or so, because im experienced enough to yank my mind out of the fairy tale and get back into reality. The truth is; being good at picking up women is all in your own head. Women are responding to your thoughts, your feelings about your ownself and nothing more. It has nothing to do with what you are saying to them or how you are approaching them honestly. Me and you could go with the same approach and say the same exact thing, but they'll respond to me, because i know that they should.

Its time to dust yourself off and pick yourself back up. Your thoughts, become your words, your words, become your actions, your actions become you habits, your habits become you character, and your character becomes you destiny.

Rewire the mind. Start correcting these thoughts that are making you feel inadequate with ones that verify your kingship. You'll be find man..But more importantly, keep going out, and keep putting yourself in positions to be successful. All the self correcting in the world can't help if you don't get around women.

Try this.. For the next 3 weeks; everytime you see and attractive woman say to yourself " I'm better than you". Do it until it becomes second nature. You'll begin sending the women an energy that they aren't used to. They'll be nervous around you.

Stay strong bro

Joey

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Thanks Joey!

Guess I just need to get back into it and, as you said, rewire myself to just get in the frame of mind of a PUA and not an AFC. Before I would approach anyone and close... now i'm back to my sticking point before I got into a relationship almost a year ago: No plan when I enter a set, no intention of closing or seeing where I want it to go.

It's good though. Now that I think about it I can look back and see how little interest I had in the sets I opened and how you could tell it wasn't going anywhere. There was no passion there or interest in my eyes. In a set with no interest in it it was clear I was just talking for the sake of it yet when I look back on sets with interest it's quite clear I had the passion and interest to progress past simple pleasantries.

I feel a more clairvoyant in my thoughts now. My recent sets I approached needy but no interest in the sets. I did no favours for myself where I should have simply conveyed no interest at all and make them work for my attention. As for those I liked and never approached I was placing on a pedestal which was a big mistake.

Still, I do feel like my mind is all over the place. All I can think of is direct openers and that's it. It's like my mind is a bucket with a massive, gaping hole at the bottom of it. I think I need a crash course.

Stop drinking. It causes those emotional highs and lows and ruins your sex life. Get some exercise. Trust me, it works. You won't notice an instant change but over the long run nothing works better.

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~Hi, do you work here?

This is the path to mastery in anything.

You start off not knowing, then you gain knowledge with enthusiasm, you start to get good...eventually you hit a steady and lose that passion...then you performance becomes to suffer, and as a result of that, it affects you internally ruining what you thought of as former glory.

Peaks and valleys.

Take it as a blessing in disguised. You know can take a step back and reevaluate the situation with newer found perspective.

I found after a while of stop being a pua, and getting back into I have a new found sense of perspective that wasn't there when I was doing pua materials because we can't see the entire forest being in the forest.

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That's a good point, Loopster.

When I started back I started working out as well as picking up. My confidence was at an all time high then I started drinking and getting hung over. I couldn't work out the morning after -- I was usually dying -- and of course going out drinking four times a week left me with no time in the week to work out. I'd say that's a big reason for my down right now.

Gabriel has a good point also. You want to make sure you are doing things to advance you as a person. I took up surfing and met lots of girls because of that but I didn't take up surfing to meet girls, I had just always wanted to do it.

I took up running to get in shape but as a result I have met lots of girls.

I will start working towards my pilots license in the spring just because I have always wanted to fly but I am sure that it will be a major factor in meeting birds.

Another cool thing you can try is changing up your vocab. Read a book and find something you like about it and use it. Run various exercises to see what works and what doesn't. I tried talking all day in an English accent to see if it made a difference. I got three numbers and an F-close within 24hrs. I started listening to rap music so I can talk ghetto to girls.

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~Hi, do you work here?

I've swung back into it since starting this thread.

I just focused on my old style and regained my confidence in it. Polished up on my learned material and reframed myself to not give a damn. It's worked really well. I don't put women on pedestals, i'll still find a girl I like and be able to talk to her and run my game on her. I've even become more confident than before and more daring in how I assert myself to situations.

Also, yeah, Gabriel was right. What he said is essentially what has happened to me I feel.

Yep. I've been there. Recently, in fact - I'm just getting out of that funk now.

Feeling like, "Oh, I'm such a badass!" and then going back into the game and you're NOT that same badass is jarring. But it also makes you really analyze your game and internalize it more, as you become awesome again.

For a while, I could barely approach girls again. Now I'm approaching pretty regularly sober, and starting to do regular escalation again.

I'd go back into irrational beliefs that are obviously not true about women.

It takes a while - just keep going out, and flirting with girls.

One thing I tried was going to the classy club with the hottest girls in my area, and teasing them. At one point I called four cute ones "my bitches" - it was great.

You just have to get used to treating them like they're nothing special again.

GameSN,

Brother you are basically going through very similar emotions as I am after my break up with my girlfriend. I think what it boils down to is when we are in a relationship we get our basic emotional needs met such as validation from our significant other. After a break up we are sort of in fog of war where we are not 100% up in the self-assurance department. We lack the confidence because we have not been directly responsible for making sure that we are good to go when we are in a relationship. So I guess one analogy that I think is pretty accurate to describe the feeling after a break up is when someone says "it's like someone pulled the rug under you"

With that said, I have feelings of ups and down all the time. I've been single for the past month and I've had some pretty down days and I've also ha some really good. I've only been with one girl, I have another that is pretty interested but she is kind of chubby and I have a third girl that is going out on a date this Sunday. I still don't feel like I have taken care of myself 100% in this whole ordeal. I have thought about this more outwardly and not inwardly that we should both be doing at the moment. It takes time to heal and I frankly don't have the patience. I think based on my last break up which was after a 10 yr marriage, it took me a few months to be good to go.

One important thing I have to say is very beneficial is to have good friends that support you and don't bring you don't when you are already feeling like shit. I have a friend he is a great guy I've known him for some time now. But I went to his house the other day his gf and him invited a single friend over to their house whom i know. We were eating dinner together had a nice time. I was friendly with the single lady and nothing came from it because I didn't try to hit on her or do anything that was other than friendly banther. Well come to find out both of them thought I was hitting on her even though she made physical contact with me as she was talking and I also caught her checking me out. Either way it didn't feel great when I find out that both my friend and his gf thought I was hitting on her hard. They weren't being supportive because they made me feel desperate. Despite them being good friends, they are not being the friends I need at the moment.

Anyways brother if you want to ask me anything specific about what I am going through send me a PM. Good luck man and it will just take some time to sort your emotions, get you head right and you will come back stronger than you were prior to dealing with this.