I've posted a couple of threads recently which reveal that I am not exactly a wizard at game at this point, and that in particular I am prone to trying too hard to convert chicks to becoming interested in me who aren't and probably won't be! But it's because I am not naturally that at ease with socialising (I have been described in an honest conversation with the guy who introduced me to PUA as "socially awkward") and therefore it feels a lot easier to try and convert girls I already know than approach ones I don't!

I have done a few approaches, at pubs and in the street, and I tried the "newbie challenge". But my social awkwardness always seems to overcome my good intentions. One time I was chatting to a girl in the street who seemed to be giving me the eye and walking along with her, but I just found it too awkward so I kept walking away from her without saying anything. Another time I did a really crap approach which resulted in the girl taking a full step away from me, looking visibly freaked out. I did the newbie challenge and it seemed that just saying "hi" to girls was a challenge. I did three but became demoralised because it just felt so weird and they were picking up on that.

In pubs I find this easier, in fact I have done some fairly shameless approaches. But none of them really went anywhere because I didn't find it easy to build on the initial approach. I wouldn't call myself an introvert by any means, but I find creative and intellectual pursuits that I can do on my own very rewarding, and interacting with others, especially those who I don't know, to be pretty taxing. So yeah, I can write interesting posts on the forum because there is no time pressure or pressure of being around lots of other people who seem to be in their element. But people will say shit to me and I will be thrown by it. It's not because I'm not bright enough to come up with a good answer, but because I find the situation and my lack of ease with it pressurising. In fact, the first incident that made me want to get serious about becoming better with women was a year or two ago. I was stood next to a woman and a guy nearby mistook us for a couple. The woman said that we weren't together, but didn't seem particularly closed to what we might call a reframing of the situation. But I just said "yeah, we're not together". That was the moment that made me think "fuck, I can't just keep being useless like this".

I know that you guys always say "approach, approach, approach". And maybe that is the only answer to dealing with social awkwardness. But that does mean that the process is going to pretty painful for me. If that's the case then so be it. I thought to myself the other day that I don't HAVE to do this. But I'm 110% certain that I want to. I would just like to hear any thoughts people have on how to overcome the awkwardness and see yourself as a social person. I'm 34 which isn't old but means I have built up some habits and it seems to take some real effort to break out of them. Plus there's the awareness that I'm not particularly in demand socially among those who already know me, and yeah that hurts. I don't think anyone doubts my intelligence, my creativity, my basically decent nature, but when they're looking to kick back and have a laugh, for some reason it doesn't seem to be me that they think of!

As far as the rest of game goes, I'm not sure how much of a problem it should really be, if the social thing should be solved. In particular, I'm a natural kino escalator, so pulling chicks left and right shouldn't be a challenge if I can just be around them without seeming like I would rather be somewhere else! (Which is obviously not the case)

Any help or feedback you guys can give me will be much appreciated!

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

I think you are just expecting things to come naturally and clearly they will not. I used to be extremely socially awkward. I had to consciously change the way I interact. I had to consciously make eye contact, consciously kino, consciously look for IOIs and IODs and then change the direction of conversation etc. etc. until it became second nature. You are just expecting that you can go out there and just talk and talk to girls and somehow get better just by doing it. For some it works, but for many of us it clearly does not. If you are really as smart as you think you are it should be easy as shit to get good at conversation. Intelligence was my only redeeming quality when I started actually consciously improving my game and despite making improvements in my social skills, looks (where possible), etc. conversation skills are by far my most valuable asset. But, you have to learn how to use your natural ability, you can't just expect to mindlessly approach and hope it will just click one day.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

The way I look at it is this: when someone gives me an essay, something along the lines of "Aristotle says X, how do think this applies to Y situation", I rub my hands with glee, like thinking about a thousand different ways I might answer the question and creativity immediately in full flow.

When I'm at a bar and someone mistakes me and a girl for being a couple, I just stand there like a lemon and think "um...um...shit." I'm guessing there are plenty of people for whom this situation is completely reversed, who would be completely thrown and intimidated by a complicated exam question, but who encounter situations like the one I had in the bar and think "awesome! There are so many cool things I could say here! Which to choose..."

So Fury, it's good to know that you've been in my shoes. When you say that you "consciously" act and observe and that it's against your natural inclinations etc, are you suggesting that something like Mystery Method is good in order to take away from the uncertainty and give you a framework? How specifically did you overcome the social awkwardness and learn to harness your natural abilities?

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

You don't necessarily need canned routines etc. but you should probably have a plan. How I fixed things personally? My first step was eye contact. Just being able to look at women was a huge positive. The second was getting better at showing excitement about things that I don't really care about and complementing on things that I did not find impressive. I also started to really listen more and then figure out what topics of conversation the person would think are interesting and go down that path. etc. etc. Then with practice I got better at reading IOIs and IODs which allowed me to calibrate what I'm talking about, what I'm doing, whether it is time to kino/physically escalate/bounce or time to "push" etc.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

I'll jump in this convo.

Infield during daygame, you'll realize that direct game techniques like 60 YoC's eye fuck or a Stelar "I want to fuck you right now and give you 10 orgasms" will not work in most situations. It's like it won't work 80% of the time. I just pulled the Pareto figure from my ass, btw, but I think that figure is close.

Nonverbal cues will tell you that the situation and the girl or set of girls require a fun, playful convo (dancing monkey act) rather than a verbal and nonverbal direct statement of sexual intent from 60 YoC or Stelar. Unlike in an essay though where you have time to write down your thoughts, face-to-face interactions require rapid responses within a few seconds.

This is where convo techniques or social game comes in when seductive game has to go out because they simply wouldn't work for the particulars at hand.

The Mystery Method popularized the concept of stacking and illustrated this with verbal examples which the PUA community now terms as canned routines.

Stacking 5 to 10 fun responses is like having a CRM database on how to handle technical complaints from customers. Troubleshooting processes for commonly asked or frequently reported issues can be resolved by a lowly skilled call center agent simply by accessing the database on how to troubleshoot technical problems from A to E which have been prepared by higher skilled engineers.

The problem with Mystery's examples (canned routines) is that most of those are not specific to my sarging environment's culture. So I have to create several stacks of 3 to 5 fun responses for each possible convo branch or scenario. However, before I stack a newly created canned response into my 'troubleshooting' database, I test it first on 5 to 10 instances. If the responses are good, I retain the routines in my mental database for reuse in several dozen other sarges.

So how do I create stacked responses?

I write them down. Proofread. Polish. Edit. Proofread some more and edit some more until it comes out as smoothly as possible. So when I'm out sarging on field and I get the same girlie question which is baiting me to qualify myself to the girl, I pull out my stacked response to flip the script.

I make the girl qualify herself to me instead.

An example is my Red-Pink Horse routine. At the high point of the routine, I ask the girl, "Do you prefer small cocks or big cocks?"

Most girls will answer that with, "I dunno." or "Duh. Yuck, you're so creepy and gross."

When she answers, "I dunno" I now pull out my qualifier neg, "Are you a dyke or something?" The girl will always say, "No way. I'm 100% girl through and through." (Wink.) That's how I get an f-close.

When she answers, "Yuck, you're so creepy and gross." I retort back with, "Yakity-yakity-yuck... Don't tell me you're a dyke who prefers wet pussy rather than a rock hard throbbing cock. You're so creepy and gross." If the girl doesn't retort back with, "No way. I'm 100% girl through and through." I eject from the sarge and lie low for several days and then sarge the girl again-- this time with another routine that I have paraphrased or created until I get to bang her pussy.

The point is: If you love writing essays for complex problems, then write scripts for the common sarging scenarios that happen infield so you can rapidly give out a response or responses that always lead to the f-close.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

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