Right, I'll try and keep this short.

I got out of a really shitty LTR and within a week or so I dated a couple of girls. The first one I went out with I really liked. Like genuinely, this wasn't just me wanting to like her. We really clicked. Anyway, we were both not looking for anything serious and said we were happy just dating/seeing other people/whatever.

This is totally my fault, but it started getting more serious. I really fell for her, I started saying shit like I was going to marry her and have kids with her and I NEVER do that. It's usually the other way around, I date a girl and within a week she's talking about moving in together and I'm like '.....'

So yeah, it got to the point where we weren't really seeing anyone else but still technically single, and we were saying i love you and all of the other relationship stuff. I got jealous and needy and started questioning her about shit, like telling her I'd noticed she was online on pof. You know, stupid shit.

Anyway, she goes away with a female friend for a couple of days. She's texting me on the Tuesday night saying she loves me and she misses me. And by wednesday afternoon she's telling me she doesn't know if it's a good idea to keep seeing each other. Her reason's being 'our future plans don't match at all.' She has 2 kids and doesn't want more. I do want kids. She's planning on moving away when she finishes her degree, and I have no plans to move anywhere. Plus she said she didn't like me getting jealous. She said it's best to end it now, rather than in a year's time when inevitably we disagree about having kids or her moving or whatever.

Now, she's said she needs some space to think about it and will let me know if she still wants to see me. I said okay. I sent her a few messages within 3 days, first one quite annoyed and having a go about the way she did it. Second one saying I understood why I'd upset her. And another one saying
'I'm sorry things got so crazy. I think getting space was a good idea for both of us. I guess we both got a bit carried away. I still think you're awesome. Hope your weekend's going well. /hugs x'

Now, after not really seeing her for a few days, I've just realised what a complete fucking AFC douche I've been. I don't want to stop seeing this girl. I know I totally messed this up but someone please tell me this is recoverable?

Thanks.

Somehow, you triggered the girl's logical part of her mind when she felt the suffocating signs of neediness from your end. Nobody likes their freedom being taken away from them most especially when they are not that well invested into the person.

In general terms, try to trigger the emotional part of her mind again with positive, masculine traits. Let those masculine traits of yours that make her horny dominate once more. Stay away from needy actions, insecure mindsets, and feminine behavior like text nagging or face-to-face whining. When you show feminine behavior towards a woman, the woman reacts in masculine ways. This is gender role reversal and feminine women don't find effeminate men attractive.

Moreover, stop doing nice things for her. Let her do nice things for you instead so she is more invested.

When you have done those, the emotional part of her brain will again dominate and bring you back to where you once before; hopefully.

These are just general terms. If you want the details on how to execute things, you have to read a lot of PUA materials on compliance strategies and testosterone (masculine) showmanship.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Alright man, thanks for the advice. Only problem is she's said leave her alone for the time being. So what if she does turn around in a couple of days and say 'yeah it's not working out' and I don't even get a chance to do that stuff?

I presume you're both in the same university. Go no contact with your texting and phone calls for awhile. In the meantime, get a new haircut, get a couple of blood red shirts, and sarge other girls where she can see them.

When you see each other face-to-face, act like nothing happened and just say, "Hi". The less things you say, the better.

She's running away from you because you're chasing her. The more you chase her, the farther and farther you'll drive her away.

When she initiates the texting, wait 30 minutes to one hour before you reply. Keep your replies short. Let her initiate a meet up. Don't initiate.

It will be very difficult to recover from this situation. But if you play your cards right and properly project the indifferent, masculine devil-may-care attitude, then you might get another chance at attracting her back.

Keep your masculinity at all times and eventually (hopefully) she'll chase you back. There are no guarantees because you scared her too much with your neediness.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

We don't go to the same uni and unfortunately there's no chance for run ins in person. I'll just have to go no contact for a while and hopefully she'll get in touch. I did actually text her before asking for a fuck, but I'll leave it now. I think to an extent it's good that I reframed as FBs so at least she knows if she does get in touch that's all I'm interested in for the time being.

Deadstar,

You ended up where you were because you followed the typical remedy pattern given on this board. The problem is that it's not always good advice. Sarging is good to remind you that you are high value, you won't be alone forever, and despite whatever loss you realized in your ended relationship, you will find others.

But, you are in no shape for a relationship. None. This girl isn't that good. You're just that bad right now. It's a waste of your time to even focus on her. Focus on you. Fuck some other chicks. Get your house in order. And when you know damn well you're over your last relationship, then you can be open to making one of your FWB or someone else a gf. Why? Because you won't be an AFC pussy.

You're acting like this because you're vulnerable, you suffered the loss of a LTR. Get that shit out of your system before you worry about your next gf. How long would you stay with a chick when you were suspicious she needed you or wanted you out of a fear of being alone?????

Dude, appreciate the advice. I actually came to a lot of these conclusions today. I've read a lot on here about getting comfortable with yourself before starting anything with a girl. It's definitely crossed my mind to just not even date anybody for a while and not have to seek validation from females. But she is actually awesome. Honestly like I said, I haven't fell for someone so hard since I was 16. And I've dived straight from LTR to LTR before. Which was also really bad for me. But yeah, I do need to sort myself out and appreciate that.