I haven't been on these forums in ages, had to make a new account. I got into a LD/LTR with a girl for the last 3 years. I owe everything I've accomplished since around 2009 to various forms of the game, including this forum.

I'll try and keep this short and sweet, forgive my lingo, i'm rusty.

long term / long distance relationship. lots of real-life time together (bi weekly visits) for the entirety of it. she wanted me to move in, i never did for various reasons, that's the root of all the trouble

we started arguing after about a year, things escilated and got really bad.

the "final meeting" went poorly, i didn't have my gameface on.

realized that, realized if theres any shot at getting her to come back i have to fix the last meeting.

Got suited up, surprise visit to see her, said what i need to say, came out strong, no tears, no anger, no crazy. I was met very poorly (if you want to know her reactions lmk, dont know if its a factor in any of this), but overall i think I came out strong.

problem: In order to get her to at least hear me out i told her i was staying in town for 4-5 days, but didn't know where i'd be at (since i couldnt stay with her / dont know anyone else in her city, this isn't true though, i went back home right after)

the entire conversation was pretty rough, she was a cold bitch (best way i can put it), but i stayed as cool as I could, I think i played it out pretty well all in all.

anyway, sure as shit. this morning she unblocked my phone and sent me a message

"I have a shirt and a pair of your socks if you want them"

now, the issue is i told her i'd be in her town for a few days, which im not, so i cant just go meet her adn initiate conversation. so, what do i do?

I spoke to her from 10:30 - 11:30 last night. she sent me the message at 8am this morning, so obviously what i did had some form of lasting impression for her to even bother sending htat.

I have two goals im wanting to accomplish:
-get her back
-get her back in the future

I'm stable in my emotions for the time being, I know what not controlling yourself and playing these things wrong can do, i'm fine with moving my life on and maybe she'll come back in the future, but I want to know that I play this out properly. I did damage control with the surprise trip and it looks like it worked, so now what.

some input today woudl be useful, i'm not sure how long to let the message sit without an answer

I think you're reading too much into this, especially her unblocking you. She basically only did that to say "you left some of your shit here, come get it and get lost". Trying to impress her with your best suit just makes it look like you're trying to please her and you put her on a pedestal, like she is the prize to be won, you are trying too hard to "win" her back. You said she was being a cold bitch, why did you let her get away with treating you like shit. She doesnt respect you bro. Doesn't matter how "cool" and unaffected you thought you seemed, bottom line is you were the one who drove all that way to see her (she didn't make the effort to come see you), you were the one who got all suited up (she didn't) and you were the one trying to resolve (she was being a cold bitch). She is in the driving seat, she is in control and you are just desperately trying to cling onto something, even though you know what's up.

Best thing you can do is next her and go no contact. Stop calling her, stop texting, stop emailing, go ZERO contact. Fuck as many girls as you can then ask yourself if you still care about this cold bitch. Do not reward bitchy behaviour with compromises. Ignore bitchiness until they are nice to you, until they do shit for you, until they suck your dick. If they don't do what you want, get rid of them and find a woman who respects you.

I agree with what you said, but the original "last talk" was horrible as a memory of me. I didn't go out strong, there was no way it would play favor to me in the future.

I realize I looked clingy desperate etc, but I had to repair the last talk somehow, and that was the best I could come up with. In the long run I think I looked a lot better.

With that said, what's done is done. And yes, I'm goign full no-contact from this point forward, no need to give me that advice. Point is, she is contacting me to get stuff with those messages. What do I respond with. She thinks I'm still in town but im not. I realize there's no move to make that will instantly have her back in my arms, I just want to make sure to respond as properly as I can for any form of "maybe in the future things work out betwene us"

also, she just sent another message. Much angrier this time.

"You need to tell me if you still want the damn thing or not before I throw it away"

again, yes shes a bitch right now, no I don't want to reward it. No i'm not going to be cahsing her, yes I'm going to go no-contact. but what do I do about these messages

I was thinking something along the lines of "I'm not in your area, but I could use them. Maybe after you get back from dallas" and then just go cold, i dont really care about the clothes, but perhaps she'll contact me after shes back then, she'll have had time to think and calm down etc

(shes leaving for a month trip on the 15th)

Just reply saying "I don't care about the clothes, do what you want with them. I won't be contacting you again, all the best for the future."

wouldn't that be skipping out on a potential chance of future contact?

Op I've replied to your other thread. You mentioned that the root problem was you didn't want to move in.

Well you've got to decide. You want the girl and more commitment ? Yes then move in. No, then leave her alone and don't waste each others time. Not sure if it isn't late now though.

No it's takeaway psychology. If she thinks she'll never see you again she will worry she might miss you and question her decision to end it. Women want what they can't have. ← Tattoo this in your brain and you wont go far wrong