So 2 weekends ago I met this girl at a bar, we hit it off. I got her number, left to hang out with my friends and hit on more girls, randomly came back and made out with her for like 2 hours. Her friends loved me, she clearly liked me. I did everything right, text her after that night wishing her luck in her volleyball game... she ate it up.

last week i tried to set something up. telling her I was going to pick her up on this day... She is very busy, so I understand not being available. but overall she seemed pumped to hang out with me. she had mentioned hanging out Thursday earlier in the week, so Wednesday I called and left a hilarious voice mail about our impending "date". I argued with myself weather to call it a date or not, but I thought, she needs to know what I think it is.... no accidentally friendzoning myself.


Anyway she had a volleyball game that night and one of her players broke her ankle so she had to cancel so we rescheduled for labor day.

On labor day she text me and said "I don't think we should hang out tonight". She explained it that she was a mess and doesn't think i'd want to hang out if I knew the extent of it.

Honestly, I don't care the extent, since she doesn't have kids, past is past. But apparently she had got dumped, not sure when.

but apparently I freaked her out when I called it a date cause she doesn't like stuff like that. So I told her I have never been on a stereotypical "date" before and that I call everything like that a date. she felt better, I made her laugh and all was ok.

How do i go about actually hanging out with this girl? Obviously I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket but she was fun. I'm thinking about not texting her for a few days and then tell her we are going to get those drinks she owes me on tuesday. (She doesn't actually owe me drinks)

Any thoughts?

Hey mate I wasa in a similar situation a while ago only difference my girl was full of shit. Anyway I played it cool when she flaked I just no prob my friends are leaving for Vegas and they're twisting my arm pretty hard to go with them. She txts me back she was clearly surprised by my reply and txtd me through the night until I got sick of talking to her and stopped answering. After some minor bullshit the next day I decided to freeze her out. Worked perfectly she came back to me. Point of that story is to tell you what worked for me. Personally I'd say freeze her out for a few days maybe a week and let her contact you it sounds like you've done all the contacting so far if you keep going like that you're gonna end up looking needy. Anyway that's my 2 cents hope it helps good luck.

That's honestly what I was considering, I was not going to initiate anything until at the earliest sunday. then try for a meetup on tuesday.

Why would you leave a voice message? That's needy... You only leave voice messages if it's something important. Otherwise try call her the day before and if it goes to voice mail try again two hours later. If you don't get through just drop a text saying you couldn't get through and tell her where you're going to meet her... Although I wouldn't be calling someone the day before...

I leave voicemails because most other guys won't even call or much less leave a voicemail. I leave funny voicemails because I think it's hilarious. i don't think it is needy at all. There's been many times when girls keep my voicemails on their phone because they think they're funny also. on top of that the voicemail was not in any way close to being needy.

Yet she flaked on you after you left her a voice mail...

My best advice?

Ask her out and get a definitive answer about whether or not she actually likes you. Also in the meantime, focus on gaming other women.

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Ask her out when? does timing even matter?

good news,

I ignored her all of yesterday, so last night she texted me. I still haven't responded and probably won't until lunch time, or even after work today. Trying to get a meetup with her on tuesday.

Hey man,

This all boils down to a case of " Why buy cow if you can get the milk for free". Women thrive off of male attention, and from your post you are still giving her adequate amounts of attention despite her being "too busy " to hang out with you. If I know anything about women, I know they always make time for the things that they want to do.

So the most effective method would be to cut off the flow of attention, until she beings to pursue you a bit. And when she does begin to peruse you behave as if you have other things to do, but you may hang out with her because you feel bad for him.

Insanity is doing the same thing over & over an expecting a different result. So cut off the flow of attention. If you checked you bank account an in was empty you would pursue the fuck out of your bank.

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You guys are right,

I don't know why I try to constantly talk to them, putting myself closer and closer into the friend zone even though I had a great start.

My roommate has had amazing success ignoring girls for long periods of time. Should have taken his advice. Thanks!