Ok so here is where I am at this point.... in a freeze out. How should I exit this?

Here is what I did to this girl... I realized I have been a bit to nice. A bit to predictable and a bit to little a challenge. I have been doing a lot of push pull. But I would say 75% pull and 25% push. I have decided to switch that this weekend to the opposite.

We had a date planned for yesterday. She messages me Sunday morning says how was your night last night?

I said " Top 5 all year " Oh listen something came up for tomorrow and were gonna have to reschedule our date. Don't be mad. "

She said: No problem about tmrw. I'm happy you had a great night! I hope everything is ok.

Then the next night she messages me at 10:36 pm and says Having another awesome night ?

I said: Wonderful.

*** No messages since then. So I am doing a little freeze out right now.

Last week we had two amazing dates where both were very passionate and SHOULD HAVE HAD SEX I KNOW. Then Friday she tells me she just finished masturbating and then Saturday she is on a date with some guy all day. So I was fed up and decided to change things up a bit to make her jealous and guess a bit and make myself a bit unpredictable.

Where to go from here? When do I stop the freeze out ? What type of compliance test should I do ? Should I continue for a full week? Or will she start to forget me? Or should I wait for her to message some more and reach out. I want HER to ask me out on a date and make plans. I want her to work for me.

thoughts?

I'm not huge on the freezeout to be honest, but then again, I don't get into these situations as I almost always f-close by the 3rd date if it's going to happen and usually 1st or 2nd. Don't let your ego get involved and start with the I am the prize bullshit waiting for a girl to ask you out. Just see if she wants to hang out, AT YOUR PLACE at some point. Do not accept any date that is not at a sex location but don't be too needy/pushy aggressive about it. If you kinda back yourself against a wall where it just makes no sense for you to say no to some date that isn't at your place, say sure and then cancel the day of.

_________________
http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Hey mate,
first of all, no problem, my pleasure. we are here to help.
secondly, respect for what you have been through, only few can really understand what exactly you went through.

Now, back to business:

STOP whatever you are doing, right there. You are making it worse.
1) you are way too much emotionally involved in this situation. Detach yourself. You do that by being ruthlessly honest to yourself and be man enough to accept whatever is coming.
2) she is not emotionally involved in this situation. This puts you in a hell of a disadvantage.
2) Being unpredictable is all good and well, but it will go all wrong when you do it to have a certain effect. It is the same with trying to make her jealous. you are emotionally involved in this, she has been at the verge of blatantly honest with you. At this time, you freezing out and do totally the opposite of what you have been doing will not make her wonder what it going on. She will not get jealous. She will get curious and she will pick up on the fact that you do all this to have an effect on her. She will see right through it and know that you cant stand the fact that you cannot have her in a long lasting relationship. She doesnt want a relationship at this point, so the only thing you will get out of this playing games tactic is her getting more distant and you will lose her.

Not all is lost. Stop your freeze out as soon as possible and as normal as possible. Do you usually send a text in the morning? well if it is evening now, stop you freeze out next morning. How do you stop it? You pretend as if nothing happend at all. She will understand, we all have our dips.

this is what i think you should do. If you have the balls for it, as it is quite balsy.
You say you wimped out too much, pulled too much but not pushed enough. You talk about tests and other shit, about make her chase you. at this time, you don't need all this jibberish. All you need is your humongous cock and a set of balls of steel to back it up.

ok, here we go. When you normally contact her, you contact her. You ask her out on a date, like you normally would. If she flakes, too bad, try one more time if you feel like she flaked for a good reason ( being with another date is a good reason if she planned it before hand btw, so your jealousy doesnt count as a bad reason). At this point also btw, i dont agree with the advice of TheFury. Sorry mate, but i think any date will do and cancelling a date because it starts at a non sexy location would be a missed opportunity.

Any date will do, as on this date, you take the lead. On this date, you will start out with a great time, but soon (pref sooner then later) you take the lead and turn up the sexual tension. Any means is good, by kino, dancing or (as i prefer by) conversation. And you turn it up good, first by going all fluffy sexy, nice sexy, romantic sexy. Then go more and more nasty, but still subtly. Kino, escalate, whatever, but dont touch her titties nor her cunt, nor her ass. just her back, belly, shoulders, outer tighs, whatever makes a blast on her excitement. If she actually sticks around and you see her get excited (its not hard to see, its the same as you saw in the previous dates), you didnt do to much damage with the freeze out. if you get her there again, believe me, its on.

You finish it off with heavy, straightforward caveman flirting. Examples:
- Darn, i am so horny, i would fuck you hard on the bar here if it werent for all these people.
- If i werent this thirsty, i would lick you from boobs to bellybutton, down and down, right till you feel my breath there where you want it the most... and then back to your nipple.
- Damn, my cock is soo hard right now, i am not sure if i would be able to put it in ballsdeep.

Stuff like that. i assume you know how to flirt, well, this is the time to go less subtle, but still hit an obvious bullshit barrier. Warning though, dont take hard-to-remove barriers like: "shit, if i wasnt this drunk, i would do you good." Chances are you have succesfully cockblocked yourself then. Then take her to your home or her home, whatever. Just dont cancel the date because you start at the park or theatre or whatever non-sexy location. The point is that you make it sexy. You are in charge. you build up the unbearable tension.

This is your all or nothing situation. She either gets excited and will go with you or she will not. If she doesnt get excited, dont bother trying hard sexual flirting, as you will embarras yourself. You want to be unpredictable? Go caveman on this one if she gets excited. She hasnt seen you do that. Be positive unpredictable, so she can join in on it. Dont be negative predictable as a punishment as you will alienate her.

one last tip perhaps: With this girl, see sex as a mutual investment. Make her clear that you see it this way. You cant give good sex alone, you need somebody willing to receive. It is not the question wether she is good or bad in bed, the real question is how good you are TOGETHER in bed. She seems to have doubts about her sexuality, so make her feel like a real woman, like a sexual venus trapped behind steel bars of society. Probably her ex or one of her exes made a remark about her sexuality and it stuck around in her head. Make her feel sexy and she will rock your world.

As true as it is that you cannot inflict good sex onto somebody, you darn well can do a bad performance. Some believe that being high on drugs or alcohol is a good way for having great sex, i dont. Dont think about giving good sex, as you cannot do that alone. Just relax, be sober and be in the moment. Make her feel sexy, counter her doubts about her sexual self. If you do it good, if you can truly make her feel like a sexual diva, it will not matter that much if she gets an orgasm or not. Just show her (really show her, as in actions, not words) how she turns you on and then tell her. Showing her is prove, telling her is then a compliment to a proven fact. you will be her hero and she might turn sex buddy thing into something lasting. Mark my words.

If you have any questions, shoot! but dont think to much, just act.

hope it helped and i wish you luck!

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you

as the above poster said you are in a pernicious situation. You have done a good job of raising the buying temperature by being coy and adding scarcity but the facts are she told you she is often with other guys, thus she is lacking respect/and or commitment. Thus the overall scenario isn't favorable so remember any advice is to be considered in light of a mediocre situation which may or may not be salvageable. The main thing like people are saying, is stay positive, be fun, push pull, and stay as unconcerned with the outcome as you can; or at least pretend to.

You should ping her with some fun and/or sexy texts rather then continued a pro-longed freeze out. Prolonged freeze outs are hail Marys, and I dont think you are quite there yet.

At the end of the day you should only return as much sincerity and affection as a woman offers you, usually a little less is best. Whether this situation is going downhill or it is just continuing on its normal trajectory dont place more value on it then it deserves, and it seems to deserve much less value than you are ascribing to it in its current form relative to her half-ass behavior.

finally I see many posters are focusing on the "just fuck her already" angle. I haven't addressed this because I think that goes without saying.

Ok guys were back on! Friday night date.

I think this slight freeze out worked. Spoke to her tonight for an hour and then I had to take my dog
for a walk and told her she should come for another half hour. She was so much more attentive and
wanting to do stuff for me and get my approval on things.

I picked up the sexual tension talk right away, her words were " that's so very fifty shades of grey " of
you. Went to her apartment she has all 3 books in plain site

Friday it's F - close night ... tonight I was cool, laid back, dominant, fun and building sexual tension,
these few days off also reset my head which was needed as I was getting way to into this girl.

Thanks for everyones notes and contributions. Friday night will be a memorable night I am going to
do this girl like she has not been done, going to make her head spin around can't wait.

Cheers

So Friday night I discussed going to a bar and seeing a live show somewhere. But I was thinking maybe I should have a few drinks at my condo first and escalate right away to sex and then go out? That way she will be more fresh and clean too.

The sexual tension is high. I picked up right where I left off. she told me " that's so fifty shares of you " then I said... I've had practice, lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. Won't accept nothing less. everyone else is boring. But of course must be built on mutual respect. After that is established then it's just one big playful adventure. And who doesn't want that ?

She said .... Totally agree.

Then I said ok lets setup a date... booty shorts ( my company ) and sweaters ( she bought one today and wants me to see ) ... I think that would look totally hot on you. Would be a fall fashion show. Fall in Paris with booty shorts with the most lovely mickey mouse sweather on the beautiful Kimberly.

Then she said how about Thursday or Friday.

I picked Friday as will be our first weekend date.

She asked me like 3 times how my weekend was. SO SO SO wants to know why I blew her off and what I did Saturday for it to be my top 5 all year. I played it so cool.... was amazing

good work man, I would suggest a couple of shortcuts apropos to your situation.

First dont take her to a comfort or rapport building location, you have enough of that as it is, dont take her to some big production/dinner, it sets the wrong frame. All you want to do at this point is raise her sexual interest and nail her, a local lounge is my ideal spot to finish off compliant chicks. Once you have this level of compliance your objective is to hold a consistent and strong frame and not fuck up. I dont recommend asking her straight to your house, its too transparent, let her earn it a little, even though her "earning it" is actually you seducing her.

Second, work that shades of grey theme via text, if I pick up on a girl havering a submissive fantasy I play that shit to the hilt, its an easy sexual in. Text her shit like

"Hey if you dress cute Friday I may hold your hair back when you throw up, i'm a sweetie"

or

"have you ever been tied up or blindfolded ? - just wondering" act coy depending on her answer.

search the web for other obvious Shades of Grey sexual scenarios you can allude to

This will set the sexual frame nicely.

As detox said. Have her over right away. Do not even bother to take the risk of not starting at a sex location.

_________________
http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

She says repeatedly "What if I am bad in bed."

The best answer I give in that situation is "Then I will whip your ass into shape. You'll be a fucking rock star in bed in no time."

Project that you are not worried one bit how good or bad she is in bed, just that you are sick and tired of you both not being there. The longer this takes, the worse shape you're going to be in. 5 dates is a fucking joke at that age. She'd be fucking you, not saying I do. Get the fucking game on.