Hey guys!
I dont know if you can help me but i hope you have some good advice.
So there is this girl. She knows that i love her and i know she really really likes me too and we actually should be in a relationship. Unfortunately she wants ME to make the first step. A kiss of course. But i just can not kiss her! I know she wants it and i know i want it too but i cant! Its going to be my first kiss ever (she does not know of course!) but i dont know what im scared of. I know how its done, i know i wont get rejected i know she will like it. But i just fucking can not do it! Its like a huge block inside my head and i cant get over it. And the thing is i cant tell you why!
Please dont say things like "man the fuck up" or "JUST DO IT" because I KNOW IT! I just think this could be a bigger or deeper cause here, why i cant do it. I just cant find the answer...
Any advice?

How comfortable are you with touching her ?

I remember I was like this. I was terrified. The way it happened is that we hugged with our face close and then I just looked in her eyes and there was no going back.

You are a pussy btw. She will dump you for someone else that has some balls.

+1 on this. I assume you hug her goodbye sometimes? Well next time, make it last extra long pull your upper body backward while still holding her close at the waist you'll be in a good position. If you still lack balls at this stage just pec her on the cheek first. She'll either kiss you or look at you ready for it.

I'm going to give you the advice I had given a guy on a more complicated issue in the past.

At the end of the day "just do it's" are no good, because if it were that easy you would of done it already. So there is where you have to realize that there is a power out there that is greater than you that can help you through these situations. As long as you keep trying to do it on your "own" you'll run into the same issue over and over; so ask for help.


If you're a Buddhist meditate on kissing the girl, if you're a christian/Newage pray and ask god/universe to help free you from the shackles that are holding you back. With consistency, faith, and belief you will see the things you want come fruition.

Life becomes a lot easier when we stop trying to control everything. Put your faith in something else - something greater.

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Of course we hug. We actually hug quite passionately. We´ve been flirting, talking touching back and forth since 1 year now. I can touch her where ever i want! We are very very comfortable with each other. The crazy thing is im not scared of anything beyond the first fucking kiss. Like undressing her or whatever that would not be a Problem.
She said (not directly of course ,but in a unmistakeable way) that all i need to do is a first step and we could become a couple, and that she is actually waiting for me to kiss her.
I was actually thinking about talking to her about this problem but i guess that would make me look even more like a faggot...

I'm trying to route out what may be the cause of this block.
Do you manage to hold her eye contact, like is one of you quite shy or submissive (either of you look away to break eye prolonged contact or act slightly nervous around one another)?
Or is it more of the build up to the kiss, like waiting in line for a rollercoaster (feeling of butterflies in your stomach)?

If it something more like the first, get her to comply with a small trust test, but ensure you're both in a comfortable environment and tell her to close her eyes and that you have a surprise for her, you can also ask her to hold out her hands like you're going to give her something and take both of her hands softly.
This way you can get in real close and you don't have they prolonged eye contact before you both close your eyes and go in for the kiss and her hands are otherwise busy. (this is where that awkward moment of rejection would normally happen if she hadn't closed her eyes)
Try for a peck on the lips first and stop briefly, if she's willing she will most likely not want you to stop there, so now you've got this this far, enjoy the rest of the ride

Hope this helps

Dude! Thanks a lot!
Its very true. I have to admit that i am the one who cant hold eye contact for too long. When i talk to her, its no problem for me to keep eye contact, but when it gets silent and we just sit/stand there without saying anything i get kind of nervous and break. Probably because i know i SHOULD take action now but cant because of this block...

I will definitely try what you suggested! Should be easier for me, since i KNOW she WILL accept the kiss.

I do think you need to just pull the trigger and do it.. But I also think that there is something more to this. It's your first kiss? Why don't you go out and make out with a bunch of other girls then kiss her? It's just a kiss man... It really is no big deal. I think you are making a big deal about it because it's your first kiss and you want it to go "perfect." I'll be honest with you man, it probably won't be perfect. Nothing is ever perfect the first time you do it. But once you are kissing her/try to kiss her, you can fix it from there. It seems like you are creating problems that don't even exist yet inside your head.

Okay so i need to bring this post back up because i need some advice again...

So after a few more dates with this girl i still have not kissed her. I just cant do it. Im scared as fuck, its going to be my first kiss and this girl is quite experienced (shes not a slut but she had like 4 boyfriends or some)...anyways...
At our last date things got serious...The situation was right, i stroked her hair, pulled her a bit closer to me looked her in the eyes but then...i get afraid and just cant do it. I want it but i cant!! She obviously knew what was wrong so she said "Hey whats up? You just looked like you expected something from me" At this point i knew i had to do something...

So i did what quite some people here recommended me to do in worst case... I talked to her about my problem! It was a huge overcoming for me (since your basically saying this girl your not a fucking man) but this was kind of like my last rescue...

I talked to her about my problem!! And and first she didnt say anything. Then the first thing she said was "But you had a girlfriend before did you?!" At this point, i lied to her but i said "Yes i did but it was all different" (I never had a girlfriend before...)

She: " You know...The thing is...I dont know this situation! I never had to do anything at all. I never had to take action or initiate anything, because the guy always did it. And i understand your problem but i just cant and wont be THAT forthcoming for you, even though i HAVE FEELINGS for you. I never ever dated any guy who wanted me, but didnt do anything after 3 dates at the very most. We are dating since over 1 year now and you always say that you want me but your words dont match your actions. You never touch me in a way i get the feeling you want me to be more than friends. You dont hug me like you want me. Dont get me wrong, but you want me to feel the same for you, that you feel for me but it just gets boring for me, if you dont escalate you know... I dont want to hurt you with this but i dont want somebody who i need to show what a real guy has to do. I mean your touching and everything got better but its just so gentle and clumsy i think. Only thing thats missing is that you ask me for permission to do anything"

WOW that hit me hard but i do know that she is right. I cant and i dont blame her.

After we kept talking and shit...I said "Look this conversation was meant to help both of us. I was just being honest. I hope everything is still alright and we can go on now." She was like "Yeah sure. Everything is alright. No worries"
I took her home and she kept asking questions like "If we where a couple...Are you a jealous type of guy?" or "If we where a couple what would you do...."
When i left i tried to hug her different and longer somehow to "show that i want her" and she was like "Hey are you practicing already how to hug me right? (smiling)" I was like "Yeah sure..."
Everything seems to be good right now. I see her at work every day. She is VERY happy and friendly when she sees me, we text nearly every day. Sending kiss and heart smilies and all that shit...Next date should be someday soon...

So here are my questions:

1. How should i touch her (i mean IN PUBLIC since we are in public most of the time!) in a way she feels wanted or whatever. I didnt really get what she means by that. Because in my opinion i touch her like i would do if she was my girlfriend. I put my arm around her, i try to pull her in sometimes, i grab her hips and pull her in...I dont really know.
How do i hug her? How do i grab and touch her? I thought you cant do anything wrong with that but seems like i was wrong...

2. About that huge kissing problem. I know you cant give me any advice and that one but "JUST DO IT" But maybe tell me something from your experience? Again its going to be MY first kiss and i know she expects something. Im just scared she will hate my "kissing"...

3. Besides "MAN THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE BITCH THIS GIRL WANTS TO GET FUCKED" any other tips or advice?

Please dont write any hater shit. Its a huge problem for me so i would really appreciate some help. Thanks guys for helping me!

Ok, literally, the next time you see her, just put your face into hers.

Just say you're going to try to kiss her. Don't stop.

Just keep moving that face closer.

She wants you to show you want her.

Just keep moving that face closer.

Its all good son, we all remember 4th grade.

To take the edge off, try to play a game and the loser has to kiss the other one on the cheek or something. I think tic-tac-toe used to be popular in grade school.

I just want to point out here, if any man in the history of man kind had the go ahead to be playful about the kiss in any way its you.

meaning a routine of sorts.

1. when your alone pull her aside and whatever you where talking about continue to talk about it, look at her left or right cheek, look into her eyes, run a finger along her cheek parallel to her eyes and mouth, with the finger follow with your own eyes and lean in and go for the kiss. the entire time talking about what it is you where talking about. smiling as you lean in to kiss.

Whatever you do do not verbally say im going to kiss you. shes already told you shes never had a guy wait, or have to ask. the finger and looking at her mouth while smiling will let her know whats going on. and the way it sounds she has already given you the GREENLIGHT, she can't be any more clearer.

A year of "dating" and no kiss? Dude, you may need serious psychological help that I doubt anyone on this forum is qualified to give you, myself included.

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Well, we have no idea how young he is.

If he's like, 12 or even 14 (possibly 16, but that's pushing it), it's more understandable.

If he's 25, well, yeah. That's a huge ass problem.

I don't even remember who initiated my first kiss. I think it was the girl.

It was some random girl from the internet that came over for "tutoring" (which was actually sex).

Read the post and the writing .. I highly doubt he is 12, or 14, or even 16 I don't think.

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