I forget which talk show she was on but Heidi Fleiss (Google her) said that if any man wants the most incredible blow job of his life, just put $200 (or was it $300?) on his girl’s bed stand.

Yep, the lady is a former hooker turned madam, turned jailbird, turned low level entrepreneur. The radio show hosts chuckled and told her something to the effect of, "Not every woman in the World is a prostitute!" . . . and yet Heidi Fleiss continued to push her agenda; “Hey, you want the best blowjob of your life? Just put your money down.” She knew it worked. The hosts seemed to believe it . . . but nobody could explain exactly what was going on.

In the 2 common mistakes thread, I asked members to offer their experiences of the times when they had sex with their super turned on girlfriends but didn't at all talk about sex prior to the event. The few who shared their experiences mentioned, “emotional bonds”, “demonstration of emotions” . . . but still nobody could express what happened in a tangible, identifiable way. After reading this, I am willing to bet that everybody will be able to identify and classify their previous experiences . . . and with some thought, hopefully will be able to repeat the process in the future for both pick-up and relationships.

Everybody in this forum seems to ‘know’ that women’s attraction to us and their sexual appetite + expressions for us are emotionally triggered. Yet, very few people seem to know what this really means. Because if you KNOW ^this. . . then why attempt to trigger her emotions logically? “I like you. You like me. I like sex. You like sex. You are hot. I want to bang you.” - Sure . . . some emotions will be stirred in this decision making process but the proposition itself is a logical questionnaire. Still don’t understand what I am getting at?

If you want to see a guy get completely drunk, how do you entice him? Do you tell him, “I have a bottle of 25 year old Scotch. It’s absolutely delicious. My uncle bought it in Europe.” - I suppose if the guy really loves Scotch, he’ll drink . . . but this is still a logical process isn't it? If you want to see him get blitzed, why not just offer his girlfriend $100 for a prank to tell him that she’s dumping him? You wouldn't have to mention anything about drinking alcohol, but there’s a good chance that he’ll hit the local bar and drink his ass off. . . THIS IS AN EMOTIONAL trigger.

Want to see a girl binge out on cake? Again. . . why would you sit there telling her, “Hmm. . . Look at this cake. Doesn't it look so good? I know you want it. . . “ - No, just make her feel shitty about her body no matter how much she works out, leave a fat cake in the fridge. . .and walk away. It won’t be there when you return. THIS IS AN EMOTIONAL trigger.

Still need more examples? How would you guarantee yourself a fight? Would you walk into a rowdy bar and go, “I know you like to fight. I like to fight. You look like a fighter. You want to fight me don’t you? Yeah, I know you like to fight. Let’s go chicken! Let’s fight!” - No . . . you just walk up to some big ass insecure looking guy and tell him that his mother sucks a mean cock and get ready for flying fists. No need to mention fighting at all. . . THIS IS AN EMOTIONAL trigger.

From the examples given above, can we at least agree that there are a whole lot of ways to trigger emotions for something than by merely by talking about that topic? And from the examples above, is it possible that NOT talking about sex but enticing her emotions for sex in other ways might even be a more powerful way to trigger her desires? I am sure there will be push back on this but try to keep an open mind, read this post all the way through, and give it a shot.

I. The Common Denominator

This is the goal. For all the mysterious things/reasons/happenings that we couldn’t explain every time we got laid like crazy but didn’t even try to game. . . here’s what happened. You could have done it a thousand different ways but it always came down to one thing, whether you realized it or not:

*You expressed your love for the girl. . . and she understood it.

That’s right . . . and that’s all. Accept this reality and not only will your PU stats improve but so will all your relationships, social, professional, family, sexual, etc . . . The truth is that beyond the chatter, sex, hobbies, work, travel, dates, money . . . women need to be loved. Make women(or men for that matter) feel loved and they will feel emotionally charged to express their love back to you. . . and how is it that most guys here would like beautiful women to express their LOVE to us? . . .Must I spell it out? . . . and do you or do not think women know this 100%? In fact . . . I will tell you that they are hardwired for this. It’s automatic. This is an emotional trigger.

II. So let’s express our love . . . so to speak

For those of you who contributed your personal experiences, I think you already have an idea for what happened during those moments with your girlfriends/wives. There was a sense of love. The event(s) of the day/night did made her feel special and loved. . . but what were those pieces? Can we create it and control it when we want to? We can. . .

III. 5 languages

Apologies to the author and creator of this program who seems to be religious a leader looking to help married couples; I’ve butchered up his program to fit my selfish needs but boy, this guy has it right.

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Again, I am reaching out to the guys who’ve been in relationships. On the days/nights that you had crazy sex for no apparent reason that you could recognize at the time, I am willing to be that your interaction with your girlfriend included at least one, probably more of the 5 languages of love in the above program. You offered one or a combination of 1. Words of affirmation. 2. Acts of Service. 3. Offer Gifts. 4. Spend Quality Time. 5. Physical Touch.

Can any of you think of ANY OTHER possible way to express your love to another?

IV. Dialing in her “language”

Go ahead and read through the website I linked and get an idea for the ‘languages’. Not everybody gets turned on by the same ‘language’. Think about Heidi Fleiss’ language. . . can anybody guess how she perceives “love”? Yeah. . . I know many guys will call her a gold digger, whore, fake, etc . . but this is who she is to the core. Meaning . . . she physically and emotionally gets turned on by gifts. That is her language. Tough to believe?

Anybody here who has had lots of experience with various girls will know the “older sibling responsible type”. Ever spend a few days with girls like this? Go ahead and do your romantic talk to her all you want. Buy her flowers, read her poetry, or even the horny boy act . . . are you kidding? Instead . . . after she wakes up at 6am to get to work early, go ahead and do her dishes. . . clean her kitchen, change the sheets on her bed. Then just go to work. . . don’t mention anything. . . wait for it. . . wait for it. . . ring, ring. . . and guess what her ‘emotional response’ will be?

Anybody ever spend time with the baby of the family? Would you ever do ^this for her? She wouldn’t notice the difference between a clean kitchen from a street vendor’s coal pit in Vietnam. No. . . this girl always got spoiled. By the time she was born, her father had been working for a while. The family had some money (relative to the older siblings). They traveled. They offered her gifts. They offered her adventure. So how would you express your love for her?

V. Wait a minute, but I am not married

Yes . . .and this is not an advice column for married couples. What I’ve always suggested in this forum is to treat women like you’re already a married couple. Treat them as if sex is an obvious reality. There’s no need to ask for it or sell the idea. But what do you do for somebody you love?. . . That’s right, you express it. . . and you demonstrate it. When I got lucky, (most of you know that I am a KJ who got lucky once in awhile) all I ever did was THIS and that’s all. I only discovered the 5 language thing few years ago but in hindsight, I realize that every time that I got “lucky”, I figured out her language and dished it out to her. I mean. . .

The super tall girl who kept on asking and asking for what I did; I didn’t want to talk about work, was tired, and wanted to drink with my buddies but I gave away and told her that I was a “low, low level entrepreneur.” - Short conversation later, she gave me her card and her website. And I took a look and gave her a number to call for an interview. Shortly after that, SHE paid for a room across the street.

The older sibling but still a party animal (Maybe the rules don’t always apply) Any how, the girl wanted adventure. She wanted out of her little town. She wanted to hear stories of diving in vietnam and eating bugs in Cambodia. . . and of course I told her, “That will be our fantasy trip. . .” maybe this one is not fair because a 46 yacht at a marina bar will turn on any girl . . . other than maybe the one who’s boyfriend owns the 60 foot yacht.

The girl who walked back to the boat with me but figured out that the water system didn’t work. (I forgot to turn it on) So she then gave me the, “I don’t know you. We just met, etc . . “ - Of course I didn’t know that her change of attitude was due to the water situation but I told her, “Oh, OK. . . I’ll walk you home.” - and I had no idea. I just thought that I’d better walk her home as it was late. She replied “Really? You’d do that?” - Which language is her language? Which language did she speak to express her love back to me that night?

And the language I didn’t even “speak” but the girl must have inferred. After hopping a few bars together, the girl invited me back to her house for rum and coke. She made me one then unbuckled my pants. Afterward. . . she told me, “Hey, so I know you’re a businessman.” (Never did I mention any kind of business or work to her) “I’m looking to get into escorting. So if you have any friends from overseas visit you. . . “ - What’s her language?

VI. How to Do it

If you read my posts, you might have read V= PB/P. But until I came upon the 5 languages of love, I couldn't write down specifically how to give. I couldn't write down exactly what to give. So I asked others to figure out their value proposition and give.I just knew that I gave. . . and I knew I got something in return. Treat her like you've been going out with her for 2 years. She already knows you. You already know her. You do not need to tell her that you are this and you are that. You do not need to tell her that you are horny and you have a boner. If she feels loved, and the logistics are set, you will fuck. You haven’t hit the lottery. And the truth is that you haven’t gotten ‘lucky’, These things are all a matter of fact between two adults who are emotionally intimate.(EMOTION, being the key word) Throughout the conversation, express your love for her.(Read the website again and think about what this really means.) Be honest. Be sincere. Bring condoms.

I`m here to share my best sex experience and how it worked out for me.

I was at this job interview to work for my gobernment, and this girl comes and sit next to me.
I hated her at that interview, she just couldn`t stop talking to me; I was trying to stay focused on the task at hand, and she was my competition. She was cute thou. Really cute.

Anyway, at the end of the interview she says goodbye to me and I don`t have the balls to ask for her number, boy I regreted that step.

As I go down in the elevator, she was casually waiting there and I meet with her again, ask for her name and add her on face. After that number close, and from texts to sex. I challenged her about being only words and no balls at all, she told me to meet at a hotel and we both see. I agreed.

That same day I couldn`t believe what I was doing, I`m not that comfty laying strangers; so as I arrive I say to her: listen, I like you a lot, but we are not sleeping together today.

For some odd reason I had the girl pulling my hand into the hotel door and fucking the brains outta me. Best sex I ever had, clearly she knew what I was doing, but I never got to understand what was the messege I gave to her that day, but by saying I wasn`t there only for sex made her horny as fuck, and to fuck me like no other girl had (and I was in a year and a half relationship).

I like where this topic is going, after giving it some thought Imma push for some more information kasabi, and now I`m damn sure this is the language I`d like to use with girls. I`d like to show I care and love and see what triggers different girls.

Act of service
This one's a little tough, but surely has to be quality time? But I can't seem to rule out words of affirmation or physical touch. But as the author of the site said it's not uncommon to have 2 languages
Act of service
Act of service and a little quality time (the walking home)
Quality time with the bar hoping, but then to take it further act of service (with the introducing business friends)
Well Kasabi, this post really made me realise exactly what I had done and why there was two times that I got my brains fucked out by my girlfriend. Both times where when we went away together not even big holidays, it was just that the quality time we spent together was her emotional trigger, I remember a time when I drove us 2-3 hours to a hotel by the beach by the time we'd checked in and put our bags down, she was already dragging me into the bed. In fact every night was like that we were away that holiday.
With this^ statement, do you think there is a danger of logically looking for her love language to trigger her emotions, I can't work out if this is a good thing or a bad thing currently? I know you're suggesting that the whole point of this post is to find out what gets her going, but is it possible to get so caught up on it? Because from a personal side I have a strong tendency to be overly logical.

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My Journal is thoughts on life game and approaches: artful-roger-journal-vt148980.html

^This is #2 from that other thread. You denied her sex. You made yourself less available. This is fun . . . but it's not the topic of this thread.

Ask a nine year old to buy his mother a birthday gift and he will buy his mother robot toy. She will say she doesn't need it. He will then take it back and play with it. A nine year old sees the World only through the prism of his own ego. This isn't really about being logical or not logical but more about being egotistical or open minded. You don't need to LOOK for anything. Just shut your mouth and listen. She will tell you everything.

I like the idea of the love languages, and it's something I really want to explore a bit further. How do you know you know "when" to introduce it, because the way I'm reading it it feels a bit like a technique that would be used (which I'm not against). Do you just do it from the off, because I personally see it as not being able to work until you have an understanding of the girl and a little trial and error of what she responds too. Also is it wise to make assumptions with it like as you described here:
In this case acts of service would seem to hold no value because of the being spoiled/overly treated, so quality time seems the high chance of response in the list. Are assumptions bad with this?

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My Journal is thoughts on life game and approaches: artful-roger-journal-vt148980.html

^This is it.

Hey, I know many of us had difficult childhoods, screwy family relationships, and our own issues to deal with . . . but is it really so difficult to express love? Is it really so difficult to step forward first and GIVE? Think about what is actually involved in these languages. And think about how you'd express them in a PU situation. . . Pretty simple really . . .

Of course, it's much easier to give when you have an abundance of things to give. Those who lack love are less likely to give it. But that's the catch 22 right? Those who give love receive love. Those who do not give are less likely to receive. So will you start off the cycle of loe or will you wait for others to begin the cycle? Look at the posts in this forum and ask yourself how well the later strategy works out for most people. Then read Hobbit's experiences in his post. It's one or the other . . . usually, most people live out their entire lives doing one or the other.

great post kasabi. I wanna add to the discussion and hear your thoughts.

So different women speak different language... the spoilt girl... flowers. the mature girl... check her car engine, clean her dishes etc etc.

What about for us men?

If I was to fall into a category I too would unfortunately be the 'spoilt kid.' If a girl packs my work lunch, cleans up for me, and gives me bowjobs regularly... Well I like the type of girl that looks after me in those ways; to me that speaks love.

So sometimes I speak a much different language than some women I meet and it just doesnt work out.

I recently have been dating a business chick who wakes up at 5.30am every day of the week. gets home at 6pm exhausted... has little time for me. We have been simply dating, fucking, going to dinners, I stay at her place on weekends, very structured and organised. Recently I tried to throw in some light flirting and kinkiness to her by text to sort of steer things to a more fun relationship rather than this up tight arrangement we had going. She told me it was 'immature.' I honestly cant see myself being with a woman who I cant flirt light heartedly, and have fun with. To me, that would be an incredibly boring relationship.

So I think we all have our own language too. You can mix it up a bit for different women to get them to fuck you, but for it to truly work out you gotta find someone who speaks it the same as you.

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I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he

Errr I'm so confused lol. I see what you mean K-Sab, but I don't want to be going out of my way to be doing these extra things for a girl b/c then it seems like I'm chasing her...

If you saw my last thread it was about being the buyer and not the seller. I feel like if you're doing all these extra things like you 2 are married is as if you're selling you're services too her... and if she buys that's great... but she also has the option not to buy.

I feel like if she has earned the right for my services (E.g., she must've done something good. She must've sold me something I valued first) Then I would give her a positive emotional response. However, NOW I would never just trigger positive emotional responses from her (Whenever I saw the oppurtunity for it) b/c I feel like that's putting her on a pedastool.

And the reason I put NOW in caps is b/c I feel like, over the last few weeks, I was constantly trying to get positive emotional responses from my oneitis. Everything was good at first, but after a few weeks of dating everything went severely downhill lol. </3 #FuckingBitch!

There is nothing wrong with being a good person... If you care about someone why wouldn't you want to make them feel like theyre on a pedastool? Im not saying all the time, but theres nothing wrong with it.
this and the name, oh god.

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I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he

First Quote:
Certain people I do not mind putting on a pedastool. For example... your mom. She better be on the highest pedastool any girl in your life is ever on. Just my opinion.

But a girl you like? That is in no way shape or form related to you?

Pass.

It's easy to come off as thirsty by being a "Good person" without reasoning for being a good person.

So don't do it. For some, these things aren't "out of the way" or "extra things".

Use your imagination people. Expressing your love for a girl in a bar/club for pick up purposes is whole lot different than the way you'd treat a wife of 5 years at home; it would be more like the way you'd treat your wife of 5 years at a bar/club. What did you think? . . . that you'd need to mow the lawn, vacuum her house, buy her a gift, tell her you love her 100 times, spend 100 hours with her, and touch her all over her body in order to get laid?

All these "EXTRA" things? Haven't you kids ever taken a girlfriend out to a bar or a restaurant? Did you talk about sex the whole time? did you have to tell her you love her 100 times in order to get your cock sucked later on? Did you have to wash her car in the parking lot? Come on. . . this can't be so difficult. . .

I guess my question, and maybe it's the wrong question, is how do you dial in on a girl's "language?"

Either in a bar setting (where you might only have a few minutes) or with a girl who's a friend?

Listen, take a good guess, act, listen, take a good guess, act, listen, take a good guess, act.