So I have this mental issue that keeps on fucking with my head.

My gf (6months together) is a very social person, and she is also ridiculously hot. A friend of mine proclaimed she was one of the hottest girls he's ever seen, and I personally rate her at 10. She gets hit on all the time. She is all relatively social, and will talk to people - and while she may not think much bout it, they are hitting on her big time. I haven't made any fuzz about it to her, cuz I wanna project confidence.

While I am tall, reasonably fit and good looking, I'm not brad Pitt. I also by no means a master PUA. So whenever she is out, let's say for drinks, I keep getting all nervous that some master pua will sweep her of her feet and steal her.

Don't get me wrong, I completely trust her, but i do just have some self confidence issues that ruins it for me. I loose sleep over this. The only way I have been able to handle it so far, is that whenever she goes out, I always try to go out with my mates. That way I can atleast meet her later, in som club. But I know that sooner or later this strategy will not work, because I will have to work etc, or no friends wanna go out.

Any ideas on how to solve this mindset?

I have some questions to people that have gf's that are super hot, and that you know have lots of orbiters and generally gets hit on everyday. How do you feel when she's out at a party or similar without you? How do you deal with her getting hit on all the time? Also how does hot girls react to getting hit on?

STOP putting her on a pedestal, If you have placed her on a pedestal and she knows it, she also knows that she has the upper hand and can manipulate you. Come to the reality that she is expendable. You got her, what makes you can't get another just like, or even better?
Make her wonder what YOU are up too when YOU are out. Stop thinking she has six dicks in her the moment she steps out the door. Trust in you ability to fuck her stupid, and DO that!

Follow that mind set, and she will be to concerned about you, to notice barely notice the lame fucktards trying to hit on her.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Heywood is right.

What is it that you have to be insecure about? If you treat her well and give her everything a good woman should get from a relationship, what do you have to worry about?

Let's just say you are fucking her as well as anyone ever could. Let's just say she cheats on you anyways, or dumps you. Would you want to stay with someone under those circumstances? Or would it be smarter to realize that if what you gave her wasn't good enough, nothing will be, and feel sorry for the poor fuck she screws over next?

This is nothing more than a problem of your creation, out of insecurity. Don't worry about what she's doing, worry about this item on your inner game. If you get that under control, you have nothing to worry about, because as Heywood said, if you got her, you can get another one like her.

She knows you "go out" with your friend's too to just keep an eye on her. This is not good.

You have trust issue's , past girlfriend cheat on you i take it?

As soon as you think this, this will rot away at your relationship and in fact it may happen one day for real if you keep thinking like this.

My girlfriend goes out, and im glad top get rid of her to be honest haha, she gets back and i ask her if anybody hit on her and then she tells me a mini field report lol , I kinda like when people come onto her actually.

My relationship is not perfect but her going out with her girlie's without me is not even an issue with me.

Maybe my attitude is: why the fuck would she want bacon, when she can have a whey protein shake at home?

_________________
USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

You are all at risk to have your illusions shattered in drop of a hat. Not saying it isn't possible to be social and not cheat. But the OP said he's not really a chick magnet, while she's 10. Its a dangerous illusion to pretend otherwise, and to think you can get more girls than she can get guys, which is a PUA community dogma equal to wishful thinking. Such girls can get gangbanged whenever they feel like it, while guy like OP or me probably won't be able to get FFM threesome in a lifetime.

My girl is about 9, and I'm also not like one of her tv rockstars she admires.
If you add the fact that girls looking hot look even hotter in certain cloths (not for slutty motives, but they're gonna be percieved as easy targets by all rangs of predators), alcohol, shady friends and situations, even if she doesn't cheat, we tend to be anxious because these are hookup environments unhealthy for relationships.

I had a situation where she got drunk with her single gf, and bragged how some junkie orbiters approached them, and as she reacted annoyed by their stupidity, they walked away. But as she didn't get any detailed responses from me, she bragged and bragged how irritated by them she was. So I had this "why are you telling me this, you are drunk, shut the fuck up" look on my face, and she told me "nothing happened", and "I'd be jealous too if some girls were hitting on you". Which still sounds weird to me, and I had to warn her that even unconscious desire to see me jealous is a deal-breaker.

You think that girls won't put some stinky lowlife above you when cornered by circumstances, then you are not secure, but easily give trust away(stupid construct, trust). Women cheat under the threat of death guided by their impulses, ie. islam, now re-think in terms of western memplexes. Just because you are fucking her, doesn't mean she suddenly has sexual tunnel-vision.

And I understand you're having constant mind fucks. You won't 'solve' any mindset. She will have to be the one to do it, to prove trustworthy, and trust can only be established by insight. If she doesn't understand dynamics behind social situations in a hookup culture, then you'll have these doubts about her.

Girls claim one thing, do another, she might say "I got so drunk I won't drink anymore", typical illusion of alcoholic. If she doesn't understand how it works, and thinks she'll avoid any temptation no matter what kind of situation she puts herself into, then this is not truth nor lie, its gambling out of ignorance.

Add also, I MYSELF feel edgy when going out 'partying' with single friends, its certain instinct in relationship, that I can't just do anything without letting the other side know. If they take it for granted, beware.

I have never seen anybody saying that in this thread nor on these forums.

Stephen B.

What you have is inner game issues. The idea isn't that I can get more pussy than she can get dick. The issue simply is that my life does not revolve around her. She is a part of mine, and that she is replaceable. People come into and go out of our lives all the time.

Just because some chick is hot, she's better than me? I think not. In fact, I generally will only fuck women who think this way, and will avoid a relationship with them on purpose. The truth is that without trust, without conquering jealousy, you cannot have a sustainable relationship. The OP does not give examples of how his girl is behaving oddly. In fact, it sounds as if when he checks up on her things check out fine. She sounds like a good girl who is not looking for anything else. The OP just needs to conquer his limiting beliefs, jealousy, or idea that she nabbed someone "out of his league" and realize that she is in his league, that's why he got her in the first place, and that he has nothing to worry about. Should she come home and tell a tale of cheating or act fishy, he can deal with that at that time, and if that happens, he can then decide if HE is OUT OF HER LEAGUE.

quote cheezdoodles
Any ideas on how to solve this mindset?

no, no ideas for you

jealousy is essential part of ltr. either suck it up bitch, or go single.

your confidence will go weaker and weaker until you go jealous and she will laugh at it and make fun of you with your friends.

don’t wanna be jealousy don’t get ltr. you want both, suck it up.

Speak for yourself mate...No it isn't. Not in my relationship anyway.

I'm sure I'm not the only one either.

_________________
USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Ditch her. You obviously can't handle her.

I'm serious, it's only been six months. That's usually the make or break point when things start settling in and you know how the rest of the relationship will be. If you're losing sleep over her going out things will only get worse. Save face, end it with her and move on. Don't get into a relationship with anyone you feel uncomfortable with and can't trust.

Go out, play the field, get as many closes as possible while improving your game and realise how valuable a man you are. Once you do that you'll gain unshakable confidence and then you can be with a HB10 without having to worry about her.

It sucks man. Why does she go out to clubs though all the time without you? That is kinda weird. The only way to get over this is to just accept it and get over it, or to even hint to her that you are uncomfortable when she goes out clubbing all the time. You need to think of a good indirect way to express this to her. She will not be offended, I doubt. You cannot bottle up jealousy/insecurity issues forever in a relationship, you need to somehow get it out there so at least it is in her mind that you don't love when she goes out to clubs with her friends and maybe it will make her go out to more bars instead of clubs etc.

_________________
http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

But if she likes clubbing then why should she give it up for her bf ?

It's probably how they met in the 1st place.

I don't agree that people should change who they are as soon as they in a LTR

clubbing isn't all about pulling, my gf and her sisters go out all the time and they all have bf's and I encourage her to go out more.

_________________
USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Speak for yourself mate...No it isn't. Not in my relationship anyway.

I'm sure I'm not the only one either.

ye ye, why wouldn’t you be jealous? and if you aren’t why don’t you teach everyone here. ha? if you can’t then your words have no meaning in real life application. there are many like that here and everywhere else. just saying.
teach us how you do it not to get jealous and you are fine.
besides if you aren’t jealous it doesn’t mean you won’t later. also this needs to be checked later than no one will.
never the less i’m not saying this is not true. i am saying show us how. may be it is possible. i’ve met loads of pua who are only good on words but not on actually do it. too many like that, may be more than half. puas aren’t coaches. so learning from a pua... you get idea.

are you more worried about her cheating on you in a randomer/1 night stand scenario or leaving you in general for somebody else?

personally, i laugh at guys trying to hit on her, knowing how pointless and ineffectual their advances are. but i guess that stems from confidence.


in your situation i'd think about her past relationships, i.e. how many, how often, etc because if she has a strong history of fidelity then this will help put your mind at ease. moreover, how did you meet her? if she cheated on some dude with you then left him for you, she could do it again on you this time - likelihood depending on how much work it took to get her in the 1st place.
conversely if you met her in the library when she was single for a bit, she'll be just fine.


going forward, it behooves you to ensure she gets everything a woman could want in a man - excitement, spontaneity, a friend, a companion, regular good rodgerings, fun, love, thoughtful gifts (on occasion) and all that shite - so she doesn't look for it elsewhere. just be careful not to get needy or dependent.

and without wanting to sound like a marriage counselor, communication is the key here mmmmkay people?
keep the lines of communication open and brutally honest, and most importantly non-judgemental. if she has any probs with your relationship or if she's being hit on a lot by a guy who could steal her, she'll more be more likely to let you know.
this will also help identify if and when she did cheat, as you will notice a disturbance in the force lol


as has been said, if you got her, you can get another - hence what you have may be just a case of one-itis induced paranoia and you have nothing to worry about.

_________________
If its got tits or wheels, it will give you nothing but trouble