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I suddenly feel filthy, disgusted and sick to death, ripped off my very dignity, by 'bonding' with a girl who sucked dick to one guy and gave her virginity to another (now me doing oral to her), in time-span of one night, maybe about 4 months before we started dating, so much that I would like to cut my bloody lips off. Its pathological but I can't help it. The facts that saliva restores, and there are no physical traces left (except in case of stretching vagina, so even if monkey or dog took her virginity - he would be more valuable than me) - doesn't help, it feels more like energy. I feel like cuckold sucking some stranger, and as I can't know if she recieved some cum on the face or mouth, its making it worse. Also the same about licking her fucked up cunt. It sounds funny, but when you think about it, even though you own the girl now, and she was wasted by some random encounter, then you are cuckold beta. Thus its making me sick and I am feeling violated now that its done. I am a very nature/universe hating person, and I don't like the thought of being in direct or indirect connection with rest of the human/animal world, so its bothering me a lot. Any similar thoughts?
EDIT: if you think I'm insane, then consider a vegetarian who refuses to eat animal's meat, conscious about suffering of animal even though he didn't kill it by his own hands - past, present, and future are all the same. (and no, I am not one, its just some analogy). Btw I would invest in her without bothersome thoughts if there weren't these embarassing facts that I suck someone elses dong whenever we kiss or she bullshits about "loving me".
This is the natural jealousy men have. The best solution is to just not think about it. You take it a little too far. You aren't sucking someone else dong when you kiss her, come on, that is retarded.
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