End Of Summer Night Dream
Intro
Hello everyone. I'm a 21 year old from Utah that's looking to lose my virginity. Things have been tough but I honestly don't know why I have not lost it already. I've made it a long way from where I was, but I can't seem to reach this next milestone. My theory is that it's a combination of a few different problems in my social behavior that have kept me from getting there (I'll go into the details a bit later).
The Challenge
In order to better help me focus and be more determined I have made a bet with my bestfriend that if I don't lose my V card by the end of summer I will give him a $100. This bet started July 2nd. As of now it's been 30 days. I have 50 days to go.
Why Am I Writing This.
I'm writing this because I know that there is value to be found in what you guys have to say. I've been lurking here for awhile and think this community is really great. I've been wanting to get more involved and decided to start by writing this request for help.
Bio
A bit about myself, I live in Provo Utah. I live in student housing, though I'm not a student. I work full time and make decent money. I'm an exMormon atheist. My personality could be summarized with Myers Briggs typology, I'm an ENTP. Basically I'm an outgoing and creative intellectual.
My Sticking Points
1. Logistics
For years my logistics were really, really bad. I did not have a car and I did not really have a place to take a girl or throw events. When I got my job I moved to the other side of the valley and out of my parents house; this made things a lot better. However, I still have some work to do: I still need a car and driver’s license.
2. Taking things to the next level.
I was home schooled for a majority of my school career. Though my parents thankfully were very active in making sure that I was social. I was in a lot of clubs which helped develop my social skills. Though I did grow up talking to girls in these groups, it did not lead to any meaningful interaction. So all my friends growing up outside of these clubs were guys that I met in church, scouts, or homeschooling. I would just hang out with guy friends, which were all nerdy, not good with women, and all have little or no female friends. Because of these restraints, I’ve had difficulty escalating things beyond conversation and obtaining phone numbers.
As I mentioned before I'm an ex Mormon. I grew up in the church and was very active for a long time. I was not interested in dating for a long time because I was told to date for marriage and that I should only consider marriage after a mission, so why date before a mission? For this reason I was not interested in seeking relations with women for a long time.
This combination of reasons caused a time in my life where I did not have any meaningful interactions with women. This has lead me to play catch up in my social skills with women. For this reason I'm still working on the skill of taking things to that level of relationship or sexual interaction. I'm quite reserved and conservative in moving things forward.
3. Losing interest
As part of my personality, I tend to move from one thing to another quickly. I have a hard time being proactive in even trying to move things forward. An example of this in action is when I get a girls number I tend to have less interest on continuing non face-to-face interactions than what I'm working on in that moment. I'll have something going for me with a girl and although I want to take action on that opportunity I tend to be lackluster in my attempts to do so. And yes I'm straight...
What I Have Going For Me
The thing about it that's the most frustrating is that I'm in a situation to have tons of success. I have almost everything going for me, I'm smart, funny, confident, talented, and good looking. I just feel like I should be having more success than I am. I have tons of talents that I can exploit to get things going. I'm not saying this to toot my own horn, I just want you guys to know that besides my problems I have somethings going for me that we can exploit.
My experiences
I've had two makeouts, both at dance clubs with random girls I never saw again.
I've had several 2+ hour conversations with attractive women I've met just walking around on the street.
I once just walked around town and campus and got 25 numbers in a day. Also I got 10 numbers when I was at a party.
What I Know
When it comes to dating science I know a lot. I read the game when I was very young and started consuming massive amounts of information on the subject. I took my action when I could but the biggest thing holding me back was the logistics. I don't consider myself a pua, and took a step back from study though still I’m working on my social life. Right now I follow Adam Lyons philosophies almost exclusively. I'm willing to learn new things as always, but any advice needs to mesh with or be better than what I'm already doing.
What I'm Doing Now
I'm taking a lot of action. I put a lot of study into psychology and dating science, working on perfecting my social mannerisms. I've been a lurker on here for years stopping by every once and awhile. Mostly my study takes place on my lonesome - this is my first time doing something like this.
Around three months ago I started the challenge that I was going to talk to 3 people every day for 4 weeks. I did it and continued to do it after the completion with only missing a few days. I stopped around 3 weeks ago out of a productivity crash and putting more focus on online dating. On average, in that last few months I've been really active in putting myself out there and getting in my practice. I've had a lot of initial successful interactions but none really went anywhere. I've also been trying my hand with online dating. Mostly on Okcupid and Tinder.
Conclusion
I know that it's kinda long but I wanted to give you guys as much initial information as possible. I'll be active in participating on the thread, so feel free to ask any questions. Any help would be much appreciated, and would not go to waste.
3 years ago I came on here and announced that I got my first kiss. In less than 50 days I will come on here and announce that I lost my virginity.
CHAT
