Quick update

Went out earlier this week with the same crowd i hung with in the last post (Entry 24). And well, as always when it gets to the girls i like, the one i set my sights on is in a relationship. And actually is, and they're living together. So yeah, let's move on to other people to sarge, the thing is, even though i like this girl, i will be moving out of town next month and i wouldn't want to destroy a couple just for a one night stand, if i'd do it i'd do it for the sake of getting my own relationship. So not this one. But the girl is really nice, i like her and just because i can't close her doesn't mean i can't hang out with her. Which i'll do next week as we set up a date(ish).


Going to training in half an hour, haven't danced in ages (in a training sense not club) and i am very anxious to get to the floor. Can't wait.


Maybe going out tonight as well, if not then tomorrow for certain. And, as i need to save all the cash i can at the moment for the semester i won't be drinking right now. Again, clear my head.

Til next time (soon).

Entry 25

Went out again last night with my wing. And i discovered a sticking point: i'm not entirely comfortable with wingman'ing. Maybe it's the king of lone wolf mentality or depending only on myself but this is mainly what i have done all this time and sarging by two is kind of new and unfamiliar territory.

So, before going out i (re)read a lot of Stormy's stuff on ineer game (in the Beliefs and Confidence section in the forum) and how good energy and vibe creates positive SPAM for sarging. So i took a lot to notice from there and it helped me immensely. Why have i not thought about this before.

Sticky

The problem/concern with the night was that me, my wing, and two of our friends (a couple) were all having a good time and every time i wanted to go and talk to some girls my wing wanted to go with the whole group. I told him that sarging would be harder with the whole group along but he kept disagreeing. The second thing was every time i got him to open a set, i saw how good he did and how he instantly got hooked in the set but he kept coming away the instant i left or gave him room or he found some buddies to talk to. This kept happening and happening and in the end my energy was so depleted on him that i just was exhausted and soon enough we all left for home.

I did end up convincing my wing that we need to sarge with the intention of sarging because i'm tired of all the nice but ultimately empty talks which lead to nowhere. I want to start closing. So next time.

Thoughts

Now i'm not very comfortable with sarging with a wing (yet). Maybe i'm doing it wrong or i just haven't done it enough but i feel a need to sarge with the intent of closing in the end. If a conversation doesn't lead to anywhere, i eject and seek a new target.


So, anyone, have you got any thoughts on wingmaning or tips on what could i do to improve? Or your own escapades to compare?

Entry 26

People always say the first step is to stop lying to yourself. So this is it. Evaluation of the goals i set myself at the start of the summer. Previous page, Entry 22.

- start closing: no closing. not a single time. more of it later
- start going out more: accomplished. but pointless because of the last part
- start training: no training. a couple of times but again, as all summers go, no consistency
- start writing more: more or less. not nearly how much i wanted but a bit still
- keep a journal: nope.

Summary: no progress. Damn. And noone to blame except myself.

The reason i've not written a single report since the 3rd of Aug is that nothing has been going on. I go out and i do not sarge. I mean nothing. And it's frustrating. Last week i did want to sarge, but everything i've taught myself of opening was gone out of the window. I could not open. I stood there, in the bar, frozen with a million little thoughts inside my head and could not muster the strength for a simple "hey, how have you been". Until this week.

The report

Went out this wednesday. And voila, i opened. I opened a bunch of different sets during the night. Most of them i just spoke to for a few minutes and then moved on, a bit of kino thrown in the mix, an occasional dhv but i had not sarged for so long i forgot a lot of stuff about my body control and vibe. These encounters did not go anywhere but at least it's a step forward again. Or just a step to start building from again.

Thoughts

I need to get out of the AA mentality in general life. I lack inner confidence and this shows on the outside. I need to be confident.

Now, the one thing that has changed drastically in my life is that come this semester i am moving abroad to spend a semester as an exchange student in a completely different university. This whole summer has been a bit of a nerve wracking as i am, well lets say it, very nervous and eager. This has been in my mind all the time, i can't wait and i do not know what to expect. At the same time i know it is a new start and an opportunity to meet a whole bunch of people. I am also a lot more confident speaking in english than in my own language, maybe this will make it better as well.

I was advised in this forum to take confidence from the things i accomplish, and this is by far the biggest accomplishment in my life so far. It is something i have been working for this past year. I know this will help me immensely to overcome the AA mentality as well.

If you guys have any comments or suggestions please let me know.

Quick update

Three months has passed. Hope i won't get crucified for continuing my journal.


The reason i have not written for three months is first and foremost, as the last entry said, i moved abroad. Just for one term. Now the term is starting to wrap up, i only have a couple of weeks left and i thought it would be a good time to continue.

I haven't done a whole lot of sarging but there are a couple of areas i have learned to handle or at least improve. The first one is fear of approaching. This is a trait i picked up in the past six months (prior to autumn) and i believe i have made a few steps in direction of rooting this problem out. Not completely, but to some extent. Moving to a new country and knowing absolutely noone has a great effect.

The second thing is the "get it done" mentality. Back home i rarely attended classes at uni but here i have pretty much never been absent. What has it got to do with sarging - i found an area in life which i completely see through. This has given me a much-needed injection boost of motivation and confidence.

Yes, it is true that i have not sarged or approached as much as i would have liked, nor closed for that matter. But i do think i am a stronger person and with a stronger mentality than before the summer. In addition, i have also been going to the gym (which is free) and well, having a better shape is always great.


I have laid out some goals for myself, some to accomplish before going back home, and some starting from just before the new year. But more of that later. For now, i live abroad and take every opportunity i can before it's over.