IN inspiration to many of the journals that I have seen along the way while browsing here, I have decided to keep my own to record my progress along this long journey.

I want to start a phoenix style rebirth as I have needed to change for a long time and this is my chance. Its time for the Death of me and rebirth of a new confident Hero

In this first little segment I want to:

Write a bit about my back story, aka Who am I
Explain why I want to delve into the PU society
What stage I'm currently at and my attitude and behavior toward women.
What I want to take from this experience.

So lets begin this
First Question, Who am I

I am 22 and live in Coventry in the west midlands, I grew up being a video game junkie/geek and because of that alienated myself from absolutely everyone I knew as video games were everything. Through primary school I was bullied because of my weight ( Looking back damn I was a bit of a fatty) and I wouldn't stand up for myself. Secondary school hit and the subject of girls was circling around in my mind. Because of all the stuff that had happened in primary school I didn't think I would ever get a girlfriend let alone have sex with one. By 13 I had a girlfriend, however it was my first GF so i was very innocent when it came to everything ( We didn't kiss for 5 months) which eventually caused her to break up with me for a more alpha guy. I then didn't get my next girlfriend since just before I was 16 and learning from my mistakes of the last relationship I did things a lot differently, I was on holiday for a week came back and we hit things off very very quickly. We were together for years and lost my virginity to her on my 16th birthday and I thought she was the one. Long story short while getting prepared to propose to her I found out she cheated on me with 4 people boom game over.

My next and last girlfriend was one who I didn't even want to get into a relationship with, I was fucking devastated with what had happened with my ex and she was there for me at the time so it just happened. A month in I knew this wasn't going to work but it was the case where everyone absolutely loved her so I would seem like the bad guy if we broke up which I didn't want. She wasn't exactly good looking but she was so damn manipulative with everything, her friends my friends my parents everyone and when i started to realize she was manipulating me I could do nothing but roll with the punches until I could somehow get her to break up with me. a year later I made a plan so she would hate me and break up with me and it worked.

And here I am a month later.

Why do I want to become a PUA?

I've sat in bars watching guys do there thing and they aren't even good looking guys and they just seem to have girls following them left right and center. My friends have always been naturals when it comes to picking up women, but when it comes to me? I can happily talk to girls all day long but I just can't create the attraction needed for them to be like "I like you" I just end up being "that guy there" and For that reason I want women to notice who I am, I want men to notice "Damn that guys good" because after reading all the material I have so far( the game by style particularly) It mentions how much his life had changed after learning PU and I need that change.

So what Stage am I at now?

O.K.So I can talk to girls but I can't create any attraction between them and me, I can never get them really interested in what I want to say. I'm not a virgin so I'm not exactly desperate but sometimes I get the feeling after what has happened, I will stay on my own for some time and because Of my nerd-style and previous girlfriends, my social circle is practically non existent anymore I only actually socialize with one other person and that was my roommate. So all in all, my confidence isn't exactly high but its not low either. I guess that would make me an AFC

What do i want to take from this experience?

Well obviously I want to pick up girls however, At the same time I just want to improve my quality of life, I want to be able to talk and be able to converse in topics that make things seem interesting to other people not just women. Basically I want to man the fuck up. And starting today I'm making the change I need to for my own health.

Where am I starting?
I'm starting off with the newbie mission. What I'm planning to do is I'm going to into a public place (maybe the city center where I live) for the next 3 days and just say Hi to every female I walk past, if they stop to reply then so will I just to pass the time of day, I'm not looking to close anything at the moment just to get my confidence to the point where I can just talk casually with random strangers and move it up to the point where I can open sets.
Ill post field reports of everything I do as a record of myself.

Day 1
Today's Mission:
To say to hello to every single female that walks past me
Field For Objective: Market
Field Report
Well You could count todays mission as a success, In a way.
My first objective was to say Hi and start a conversation with every single female that I walked past. I did that with flying colors talking to women has never ever been my downfall I had no AA I brought up conversation with ease that flowed and then I ejected. So i thought I would challenge myself, Instead of my original objective I changed it
New Objective, Number close
I decided I would try to number close 1 person, a lot harder than i thought.
When I changed my objective that was when the AA started to kick in, I saw a 3 set looking at some Perfumes but chickened out at the last minute, it seems when I'm actually trying to attract someone my body just freezes and I choke. I then plucked up the courage to talk to a 2 set, HB7 & HB8. This is how the conversation went
M = Me, O = Obstacle, T = target
M: I see your looking at some perfumes there, whats your favourite?
T: Beyonces new one, she's like my idol
O:I thought you liked that new FCUK one?
T:That was last week, my ex boyfriend bought me that one so fuck him
O: (Says something)
T:(Says something)
and thats basically how the conversation continued
Did not take a lead on the conversation at all, I said one line and they basically shut me out, I froze and didn't know what to say
I wanted to attempt a Neg straight away by saying "Too bad you'll never be like beyonce" but I thought that would be a bit too harsh and instantly they would hate on me, Do you think I should have just said it?

Overview from today
Talking to women, fine. When it comes to in my mind trying to actually Close in some form, I fucked absolutely everything Up, my composure went to shit, my BL went all over the place and I just choked, overanalyzed my responses.

I guess my next goal would be to talk to some more women, strike up conversations with women and just naturally teach myself to stop overanalysing my responses.

Also out of curiosity, what do you guys think about an opener I thought up "Hey there, I need a womans perspective on something. Im buying a present for my sister for her birthday and thinking of getting her a handbag, I can see you have some form of style so do you know a good place for hangbags? I don't really know about this sort of thing" I just don't quite know how I would lead on from there though.

Looks like you've got a nice start.... at least your getting out and talking to girls right! Thats step 1!!

From the last post IDK if I'm wrong or not but you made reference to not knowing how to lead the conversation after making your initial opener. I have a few theories on that!

1) Are you using canned openers that you've found somewhere? Although they can be a good tool for people just starting out because they have been proven to work they also are limiting. They limit you because you "may not have be buying your sister a handbag" or whatever the opener may be...it may not relate to you and/or something you are trying to do. For instance if you ask the "who lies more guys or girls" line, you are limited in where to go after their response unless you've used it a lot and have discovered ways to keep the conversation going.

2) I personally like to look at things in or around my life for openers. They don't have to be situational but just drawn from "my" life that way I can relate to them and maybe keep a discussion going. For instance I love being active and trying new things. So I may go up to a woman or group and say "Hey I'm looking for something new and exciting, what's the most interesting thing you've done this summer?" From there if they haven't done much you can tease them about how you need someone exciting (keep it playful though) Or if they have done something that you want to do but haven't yet you can ask them about it. For instance say she says I went scuba diving in the bahamas about a month ago. (I personally want to scuba dive at some point) so say "No way that sounds fun! Did you get pictures?" Or "I couldn't see you in a big scuba suit, but I bet it was cool tell me about it!" Thats just two things about scuba diving. You can also ask about the Bahama's as well. See how it opens up multiple options. You've got to analyze their responses for things and you can find something to talk about within them. A opener like the hand bag one limits you because you probably don't know about hand bags and so once she starts talking about it you'll get lost. Or in a real life example the perfume one you used....your probably not interested in perfume...unless its the one the girl you having sex with is wearing

(I think one of the most important things in talking to someone you don't know, whether its a guy/girl, is to find a common interest. Thats where you can have a legitimate conversation that both sides put a lot into. Girls love talking about themselves or how they feel. So if you can find something that she is interested in and you then BINGO you'll be talking all night. After that its a matter of can you escalate physically and make her value you enough to want to take things further. But in general if a woman can have an educated conversation with you about something she likes and you like then that will set you apart from a lot of guys who just come up and make small talk or conversation about something they don't even care about)

So try and find inspiration for openers from your life that may interest another woman. If you can find common ground then the conversation will take off and you will be much more successful!

Good job though

Keep up the work man! The first step is actually getting out and doing it. So your on the right track. Just keep your mind open and try to understand the concept/theory behind why PUA's do what they do and don't think of them as guidelines you HAVE to follow because every situation is different and if you know the theory behind it then you'll be able to adjust accordingly!

The perfume question wasn't a canned opener that I picked up, it was just what they were looking for at the time so I just thought If I opened with that then I would be able to just roll a conversation based on that topic alone, but when it happened they just continued to talk amongst themselves like I wasn't there, it was like I said one line then I didn't even have a chance to lead the conversation.
This is where my biggest problem lies, my main issue is if I find something to talk about I talk.....I talk... and I talk some more and it just doesn't seem to interest women, I usually converse in facts so I don't really bring anything like humor onto the table just conversation. My issue isn't that I can't talk to females its just I can't make interesting conversation with females, or anyone really I just......talk

Hmmm okay, that poses a little different circumstance. You seem to recognize your issue, maybe next time you get out and begin talking to a woman and you do bring up a topic of common interest (since you know that you usually talk) try and get her to give more input and rather then discussing what you like about certain things let the woman find interest in it and discuss things first. Maybe then after she has her input you can throw a little bit of yours but then find something in what she found interesting that you can make her elaborate on.