Hello,

I am a 33 year old guy and have only ever had sex with a prostitute. I am not happy about this
at all. I have dated women and done most things except have sex with them. And now even getting dates
is almost impossible for me. I want to have a woman want to have sex with me, not just because I paid her.
I am not fat, I don't think I am that terrible looking.. I am average like most men looks wise. I am very socially
stupid when it comes to women and especially sex.

Am I fucked or can I change this? I need to get this sorted out by the end of the year for my own sakes.
I have tried dating sites but I even have trouble meeting women there. And picking up a random girl in public?
Never have done that.. I would not know where to begin. All the women I have dated have been someone I knew or
online. I need to change this before I get really old (much older than I am now of course.) Even though I am not technically a virgin I feel like it because I want a woman to want me. And I have had situations where the woman has wanted me but I messed it up. I need to fix this... help me out!!

Why is you feel that you so urgently NEED to have sex?

Well I feel pretty worthless that no woman has ever truly wanted to be with me.
At my age, I should have had sex with a girl who has wanted to have sex with me.

I feel like if I get much older and still haven't, well I will be an even bigger loser than I am right now.
I just don't feel "normal" with my situation, like the rest of the population having normal and healthy
sexual relationships. I was hoping this would be the place where someone could help me turn that around..
doesn't have to be overnight but sometime before this year is over, yes for sure.

So from what you're telling me I'm getting that your worth as a person is dependent on how others view you, specifically your worth as a man.

Thats how I feel right now. It's not normal for someone to be my age and
have such little sexual experience to show for it, especially since the few times
has been paid for, which, I honestly didn't enjoy because the woman really didn't want me.
I am honestly pathetic, but I want to change into a man that can find a woman that wants to be
with me in an intimate way, a sexual way and eventually in a relationship. I am not sure why you
are questioning what I am looking for, it's what any man looks for... I have just been terrible at it.
And I figured this would be a place I could figure out how to change that about me.

I mean, be honest, when you saw my message you probably had a judgement that I was a loser too.
It's pretty natural for people to think that about someone in my situation.

I think you have to start playing by the numbers..Pua can work for any age since you cn just talk to people your age on the street. But with PUA you can really learn systems and routines and what to do when yur talking to a girl on the street and getting her number. If you then manage to get 50 numbers in a month and you then start text gaming well sex should not be a issue after a date.

The thing is of course going on the street, talking to woman and get their numbers.

What I would do if I was you would be stop whining to myself and thinking I'm phatetic but to go on youtube and this forum, buy some books and study PUA like crazy. Read everybook about it, watch all the infield videos.

And slowley start on the street. What I do is everytime I see a girl I'd like to talk to is just walk up to her and simply say:'' excuse me do you know where I can find bla bla bla? I say thanks and walk away. Just start doing that MANY TIMES. And in the meantime spend all your freetime studying pua!

Oh yea and stop going to the hookers. Save up your money untill you have enough and go to a pua bootcamp. Seriously dude they will help you get over your approach anxiety(How you spell that?) and teach you to do your first approaches.

And something else that really helps is. I don't know how you look but a good makeover with new clothes and a great new style always helps! And don't just buy a jeans or a shirt. Buy sets of clothes. Things that match!

How do I get the confidence to approach women on the street? I am an average at best looking man. Im not rich, etc. Women want a good looking man with lots of money and experience sexually and relationships. I have none. Do I have to fake confidence? Women just don't show much interest in me at all.

It comes from within.
you shouldn't have to fake your way our of feeling depressed, you should solve the problems at their source.

self esteem problems are projected from fears. They can be looked at as a defensive mechanism our mind uses to distance ourselves from a situation. I would suggest starting a project; confronting fears with reasonable intention. The objective is to gain your confidence from the things which are destroying it.
To complete this project you have to stop letting your self confidence be destroyed by your own fears.

let me know how it goes.

Hi mate where do you live? If I were you.. I would save up some money. And do something like this. They are all over the place.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBfMqUQw ... LSJKT13_XQ

I think a weekend like this would be your best boost because you aint doing it alone and their are other students aswell that start from scratch. If you watch these guys in the introduction and in the end....

I really think this would be your answer to everything!

Hey auxman12 we all know that horrible feeling of being unwanted. I've watched with my own eyes guys uglier than me getting all the pretty girls and the feeling SUCKS. It all boils down to our social skills and the way we present ourselves.

There's definitely hope in your situation, all you need is the willpower and motivation to change (I prefer to say improve) yourself. In fact all good Pickup Artist used to be at the rock bottom where no girls wanted them, until they decide enough is enough and push themselves to learn how to attract and seduce women. There are many help available out there, you just need to know where to look for it.

Of course one of the option is to go for boot camp trainings under qualified master Pickup Artists, you can have a vast improvement in a short time but that will cost a lot.

What I would recommend you is start reading some books that will teach you how to improve yourself and how to attract women. Here are some of the books I would recommend:

*The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss. An entertaining book about how Neil transform from an unwanted man to the world greatest pickup artist. You can't really learn a lot from this book but it will give you a good overview of how the seduction community.
*The Pickup Artist (a reality TV show on VH1) hosted by Mystery (one of the greatest Pickup Artist out there). A really entertaining must watch reality TV show, and it's really inspiring too. You can watch and learn how 8 men who are really bad with women try to transform their lives under Mystery's coaching.
*Rules of the Game by Neil Strauss. This is a how-to book that I am currently reading now. You can do the 30-day challenge that will build up a great foundation of social life for yourself. Not to mention the 30-day challenge that can be really difficult. It sure can push you to give your social life a big improvement.

And there are so much more books out there to help you out which I have not mentioned. You'll have to do your own exploration and start building up from ground zero.

Hope this helps, and best of luck. We are all on the same boat.

Hey don't get too down on yourself, I think everyone on this forum has felt that way about themselves at one point or another.

I lost my virginity only after learning pick up. I had only kissed and rubbed up against a few girls in my entire life. I am 21 years old, and I lost my virginity about 4 months ago.

In the 4 months since then, I have had sex with three other very attractive girls, and have kissed a handful more, while also getting many numbers along the way.

My point is that once you turn it on, and the flip switches, it will really switch for you!

The best advice I can give you is this- take it one step at a time. Don't be concerned about having sex with a girl yet- you need to be concerned about yourself.

Here is how I focused on my development, I learned each step along the way- this can take months by the way, but the key is to achieve a certain level of success.

1. Learn the fundamentals. Looks, posture, walking, movements, voice.

You can improve this with little feedback from girls. Look at what the other attractive guys wear these days, look through magazines, look at celebrities. You should always look your best.

A big change for me was changing from a size large shirt to a size medium. It fits a lot better on my body, and shows off my physique. You will look sharper in a more fitted size. Make sure you have a nice pair of shoes as well- girls love shoes themselves, and it is often one of the first things they notice about guys. The key is to develop your own sense of style that stands out from the crowd, but is not too crazy.

I like shopping at Macy's, Guess, Calvin Klein, etc. Learn to love shopping, it will do you some good.

If you aren't working out at least a few times a week, you should get into a habit of that.

You can easily change your posture, do the wall exercise- make sure your heels, butt, shoulders, and back of your head are all touching the wall, and have your chin up and chest out. Get used to walking like this, and keep your legs shoulder length a part. Also start walking slower, confident alphas walk slowly. Slow all of your other movements down too from hand gestures to simply reaching for a glass.

Practice vocal exercised and clearly speak words, again, slow down your voice, there is no need to rush your words.

2. Learn to approach. You should be feeling great about yourself after you have your looks, voice, and posture down, you are a long way to becoming the man you want to be, now it's time to test the waters.

Start talking to strangers, all of them you run into, just be a more social person in general. Just make small talk- weather, sports, news, etc.

Once you do that, you can start going after the good looking girls. Get some pre made opinion openers and then try them out.

3. Learn to attract. This really means being tough to get, you should be a good looking, confident guy at this point, and you have to act like it. Learn how to neg a girl.

4. Build rapport- learn how to have a nice conversation and make an emotional connection with the girl. Use training wheels if you have to- memorize a few questions you want to ask a girl. Mine are always, are you an adventurous person? Do you like to travel? Etc.

5. Learn to close. Either a number or a kiss, depending on your interests. For the number, just say that you'd like to continue the conversation sometime. There are no magic closes that work every time, just do it, how you do it doesn't matter.

For a kiss, the "other three second rule" is a good bit. If you look into her eyes for three seconds, and she holds constant eye contact, she wants to be kissed.

6. Date and Sex. Ask a girl on a simple date, a movie at your place, a dinner beforehand, something simple where you can get to know each other. Keep it low key, you don't need a crazy or expensive date. The important thing is to build more rapport with her.

For sex, just go for it. Start kissing her on her neck, brushing up against her spots, and be like the guy women love in the movies. Be very gentle at first, and then get more passionate as it goes along.


My point is that you should not be worried about having sex with women yet. You should be worried about these things one step at a time. Master these things one by one, and you will get there. It got me there, and it will get you there too, just be patient.

hey auxman12, first of all it's never too late and it doesn't matter when you learn it.
It's good that you admit that you have a problem, and now you are willing to solve that. Anyway, what I would recommend is not studying pickup like crazy.. Just get the basics in by either reading a book or 2 or just asking help from one of your friends that is really good with women. When you seek for help from those kind of guys, most of the time they will help you if you explain your situation. Now, if my assumption is correct, the main reason you are not getting laid is because there is no abundance of women in your life, and you're not doing activities where you get the chance to meet women. Instead of wasting loads of money on boot camps, and seminars I would recommend investing that money in something that would benefit your social life instead. For example, get a membership at the gym, learn a foreign language( loads of girls here), dance classes(also), cooking classes, go to coffee shops more often, etc..

Personally I haven't done many of those things but I'm at university at the time and I have abundance of women I interact with. For you, at your age maybe this is not as possible as it for me so you have to make that happen. Pick up has too many details to be learnt before you master it, but the basics should be there before you start learning the stupid routines( hell i don't even do this shit), openers, etc.. Main thing about pick up is being confident!! You have to step out of your comfort zone, and try things that you haven't done in the past 33 years of your life. The more you try, the less you will feel uncomfortable. I've been rejected 100s of times, and i think that's the reason why i keep improving over time. So take those as lessons. Now, another tip i can give you is going out a looooooooooot! I'm talking almost everyday for a week or 2. If you ask most of the guys who became good with women in a short period, they will tell you they did that!

No matter what we tell you here, none of this will affect you unless you decide to take action. Don't wait until your prada suit gets shipped to you, or until you get a perfect body, etc.. Instead start working on this asap. If you have any questions or need tips about pickup and attracting women later, don't be shy and just drop me a PM. I will try to help you as much as i can.

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In this world, you don't get what you deserve but what you fight for!

How can I get over my low confidence that I have never been with a woman that I haven't paid for? It even wasn't many times and I am still completely inexperienced with sex. Do I have to fake that I am good with all of that? When the time came she would tell right?

Confidence is something you have to build up. You can't simply just be confident, go out and expect to succeed. If you go out tonight to a club and expect to get a girl's number, tell me how confident will you feel. If you sit for a Quantum Mechanics exam paper without even knowing what the hell it is, tell me how confident will you feel.

Instead focus on small successes; like getting some new clothes, improve your posture, talking to a few random strangers and try out some openers. You will start to feel your social skills improving bit by bit and confidence level going up, and that's how you gain confidence. Treat it like a journey, and your goal is getting yourself a date and ultimately a girlfriend; you have to do it step by step.

And NEVER fake confidence, it's very very easy to see through and will make you appear like a try-hard.

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You only have 2 choices; either you cry and accept who you are, or get your ass out there and try to change yourself.