When asked what is going on with me and her by a coworker, she kind of tells me with a smile that she just says "I don't know" in playful manner instead of saying she is my girlfriend.

We haven't really had "the talk" except one time (she brought it up) about 6 months in when I said things are going great and soon for exclusivity. But we have met all of each others family, each other's closest friends, been on vaca together, have sex all the time with her initiating, ect.

To each other, she has said "you are mine" and she beginning to care for me. I don't call her my girlfriend to other people either, but I don't tell her stories like that when people ask me.

Can I just say "you should have told him you are my girlfriend" or is this too needy? Is it better for me to introduce her as my girlfriend when it comes up?

Should I wait for her to become comfortable with the label and use it or take the lead now? I know this is usually female territory but she is NOT feeling the need apparently!

Her ex still texts her and she has orbiters and AFC guys numbers all the time, but she ignores the ex and is cordial (i've seen her phone once) so she is exclusive in all but name

I don't think I would take the hard line of "hey you should told him you'll my girlfriend" especially now so much time has passed from the actual event. She will know that you have been thinking about it and that it bothers you. Usually I let the girl bring up "what are we talk" but if it hasn't happened after a year she probably is never going to bring it up. It sounds like you two are exclusive all but in title.

If it bothers you that much I would probably bring it up after sex and be straight forward....you have known her for a year! No need to worry about neediness I don't think. If she isn't going to put a title on the relationship after the talk and a year of togetherness then she probably never will. It's up for you to decide if your ok with this. Hope this helps and keep up posted as the events unfold.

This is probably a hint: she want you to ask her.

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One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

sounds like you gotta have the talk and decide what exactly you want to label as - and if you're not 'together' officially then what are the rules? are you both required to be exclusive? if not, whats the point in not saying you're going out, when everything seems to say you are

but hey, don't knock open relationships if you can get them. greatest thing on earth. but you need to figure out exactly what going on