Actual thread title since the subject space is so small:

MPUA: I want to quit posting, live life, and change for good. Will you help me for the final time?




MPUA members and mods.

We are going to to do this thread differently, I will let replies go on for 1 page before I even say anything. I am serious about changing. Since this post will be long, on my 2nd post I will post a thread summary.

I am depressed right now. I suffer from a major issue dealing with race and dating that has consumed my life for the past 2 years or so but I feel that there is no way I can ever get any help for it. Some of you have helped but I have ended up in arguments with people which I have hated. I wish that I could like just post here and peacefully chat with you guys and make the last step towards improvement and finally leave this forum (in good conscience rather than being banned) and most PUA forums.

I have been on this forum since 2011 and even though I have shown some progress I have still made some posts about race and it has become my identity. Reflected today and I know that I cannot go on anymore posting on this forum obsessively about being Indian and dating attractive girls of other races (mainly White). If I called that topic a dead horse it would be an understatement. I want to finally stop posting on the forums and just go out there and live the kind of life I want.

You see, I love talking about race and dating on forums because I would never do this in real life, on the forums I can do this more. Growing up in the south, it is fucking tough as a foreign looking guy, if you don't fucking believe it then see it for yourself.

I envision a future where I am happy and living the kind of life I want and having the kind of dating life I want rather than spending my freetime on this forum or other forums. I want to permanently stop and will do whatever it takes to get that life now, I am serious. I know happiness takes hard work, I have worked hard to get to where I am today (losing weight, looking good, having done over 100 approaches, etc.). I want to close the coffin and fucking live.

My story and how I developed:

I am not culturally Indian but life decided to curse me with black hair, brown eyes, and light brown skin ( a lot of people say its olive) so guess no matter how American I become on the inside a lot of women will see me as an Indian. I am 6 ft tall, I lift, I dress well, and I got into Beautifulpeople.com without any issues but apparently all that doesn't mean shit to all the girls in my area (deep south) who are White because I am Indian. I just wonder why I had to be born with this so called curse as the idea seems to be in the PUA community.

I had a messed up emotionally empty childhood. My family moved around too much, never had any childhood friends because of it, and I spent most of my teenage years in poor ghetto schools where most kids sold drugs and got into fights. High school which had no sports and no attractive girls, almost all of the girls were Black and we had no variety, I left a virgin.

I had always been attracted to girls who were White but growing up most of the ones I would meet were pretty but cliquish southern girls. If I would talk to one, some guy would tell me to stay with my own kind and all that nonsense. If I was to kiss a White girl in high school, it would cause an earthquake. It is how it was, people stuck to their own down south. I see less of it now but I still see a lot of it.

After high school, I fell for a girl the first time in my life (Lebanese girl) but failed hard with her so I came on here. Started looking for advice but there were so many posts on the internet about how women hate Indian men that eventually they came into my mind and made me insecure. I started to think in my head how much women would hate me because I am Indian and never even give me a chance because of it. I would see endless stories about how women hate Indian guys and talk lowly about them and talk about not wanting to touch one and how Indian men are treated like crap worldwide by women and it just fucked my mind up.

I went from being a virgin at 18 to having over 10 lays under my belt. I have been with 1 White girl and the rest of the lays were mixed girls (asian/white or latin/white), Latinas, or other (native american, etc.). Even though I had those lays, I felt depressed sometimes because I never hooked up with the kind of girls I wanted (White and American or White and European). I knew that when I was having success with girls of ALL minority groups but failing with White girls, something was up......

Then I would go out, see a lot of attractive girls who were White and it would kill me on the inside that I would never have a shot with them, I did approach some but that ended up in a failure even when I felt confident because the south is pretty segregated and foreign looking men are not considered dating material. I have never in my life seen an Indian guy outside of with a White girl, like ever, and we have shitloads of Indians and Whites where I live. I have seen and met Indian guys with Black girls, Asian girls, Latina girls, and even Pakistani girls but never ever have I seen anything close to an Indian guy dating a White girl which makes me even more insecure and depressed. Sure, I have seen pictures but I have never known a couple like that ever in real life.

I know you all would think I am a hypocrite when I tell you this, but I have no interest in hooking up with Asian, Black, or Brown girls (Indian or Middle Eastern). I have hooked up with a lot of Latina and mixed girls and I am bored of them. My interest is now in hooking up with girls who are White (and preferably American). I am just attracted to them and ideally those are the kind of women I want to be with and even marry if I get the chance, if you find that ridiculous you won't want to be on this thread. I have my preference, it isn't going to change, and I know you will say "if you don't give black girls and asian girls a chance how can you expect white girls to give you a chance?", I don't care, I just want to date the kind of girls I like period and yes right now I am falling for girls who are White.

Most of the girls I was around growing up were Black and Asian and I have no interest in dating either group, I have had more than enough exposure, I am just not attracted to them and not like it matters, I know Indian guys who have dated and married both groups. Haven't known one in real life that has been with a White woman.

You see, I come on forums as an escape. I can talk to people here about race and dating and get an idea of how life is like in NYC or bigger cities, how life is like outside of the deep south. I can get an idea in my mind that maybe there are better places out there, maybe not.....

I cancelled my trip to Europe with my two friends because I heard European women hate men of my color and don't care about how I act or how I present myself, I will not score and it would have sucked to see my 2 friends score (they are both white) while I ended up being lonely and even more depressed.

I want to live a good life, date and be in relationships with the kind of women I want, but I feel that my skin color and heritage alone will stop me. I always feel that because I am not a White male, I won't get the chance to date that beautiful Blonde woman no matter how much game I learn, how hard I work, and what I bring to the table. I get depressed over this shit and I know people tell me stories about Indian men they happen to know in their imaginations who date White girls but I have been around a lot of Indian men and have yet to meet one that has had success with White women down here.

The culture down south is different than that in other areas, not many PUAs here and it is very segregated.

I have no idea where in the world I can go to get the kind of dating life I want and as a result I have moments I end up depressed and start posting on the forums. It is not like I haven't made an effort, I have done everything to try and improve but I feel so discouraged. Right now, I am deeply depressed knowing that because of my ethnicity alone, I cannot be that guy who is dating a beautiful girl that happens to be White.....

I know you guys think the world is this nice place where if you put your best foot forward you will succeed, well brother I have seen good looking Indian doctors here fail with White women and I fucking know its the south, I just fucking know it. I just want to know why everyone in here thinks the south is a progressive utopia and it is my fault I am not scoring with the good looking girls here.

Like I don't know why people don't believe me when I say the south is racist and think that this deep red bible belt state I live in is the same as NYC or California. I have seen so much racism here and it is so segregated yet I feel that there is no place in the world that can offer me the kind of life I want. I feel hopeless at times and as a result I come on the forums to ease my worries.

I feel that even if I become a doctor (I am already good looking, I know it) and do all that to fix myself, I will never end up with a good looking woman who happens to be White while a White guy who isn't as successful will easily get her.

Like I just want to know either how I can succeed in an area like the deep south (bible belt, SEC states) where a man of my color dating a White woman is unheard of or where in the world I can go to where a good looking, confident, and financially well off Indian guy can date attractive White women. I want to know how to be that Indian guy that dates attractive White girls.

_________________
I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.

Summary:

- I want to quit posting on forums in general and just live my life

- I come on the forums to talk about stuff I would not dare talk about in real life

- Indian by appearance only, American in everything else. Some people say I look more Middle Eastern than Indian due to my olive skin tone but whatever.

- Feel like my condition sucks and there is not really any cure for it out there at all and no one can help me, aka I feel hopeless

- Had a fucked up childhood that involved a lot of moving around so I never had any childhood friends

- Spent most of my teenage years in crappy high schools with urban kids who fought and talked in slangs and sold drugs

- Went to a high school that had no sports and no attractive girls

- Left high school a virgin

- Had my first crush after high school (cute lebanese girl)

- Failed with her and joined this forum

- Had found so much stuff over the web about how women hate Indian men, talk bad about them, view them as jokes, and it just made me insane aka giving me the race identity I have right now

- was an 18 year old virgin

- Changed my life and got laid over 10 times

- Most of my lays were from mixed girls or Latinas with 1 being from a White girl (who was from california)

- Knew something was up when I was having success with non-White girls but not having any with White girls

- Bored of being with latina and mixed girls, not into Black or Asian girls (most women I knew growing up were of these races), and can't get anywhere with White girls (living in the deep south definitely has something to do with it)

- People will say how can I expect for white girls to date me when I am not open minded, well I am not going to date an asian or black girl and if that makes me a hypocrite then so be it, I want to date girls who are White and that is that and I want advice on how to be that one in 10 million Indian guy that hooks up with an attractive White girl, those are the kind of girls I like end of story

- Most attractive girls I would go out and are White and I feel depressed on the inside knowing that I cannot date them or be in a relationship with them because I am Indian

- I have never personally in real life seen Indian men date or hookup with White women (have seen Indian men date and hookup with Latina, Asian, and Black women though, even met some that dated Pakistani girls)

- Feel hopeless because I am good looking, fit, dress well, and well spoken but I feel that no matter how good I get I never be able to be in a relationship with a girl who is White because I am Indian and nothing else

- Feel depressed at times that a White guy can date attractive White girls and attractive ethnic girls but I cannot date an attractive White girl even if I make the best with what I am

- Feel depressed that I will never get the kind of life I want (dating girls who are White and attractive) because of something I cannot change (being Indian)

- Come on forums to get an idea of how life is like socially outside of the deep south

- I am serious about improving this time and improving so well that I permanently leave the forums and can finally live life to the fullest

- I know living in the deep south is a disadvantage if you are foreign looking but get frustrated with why others do not realize it

- Want to seriously know how I can thrive in this racist place and date girls who are attractive and White and if not here then where in the world can a good looking and confident Indian guy date attractive White girls if he brings things to the table

_________________
I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.

I think you have low self-esteem. I've read a psychological study (a real study with scientists)
about what physical traits attract women. Men generally like breasts, ass or legs. Women, ass. And you know what? In general, white women love brown men. Be proud of who you are. Be proud you have black hair. Be proud you are brown. Remember, this a psychological study. It's subconscious. It's what they REALLY like.

If you really want to move to an other country. Maybe you should live somewhere in Europe. Maybe the UK will suit you. Maybe where I live? Belgium. For me it's not unusual to see non-native men in a relationship with white women. Actually, I know several Asians who are together with white girls.

But trust me, you first have to work on your self-esteem and self-confidence.
You have to stop making generalizations. I live in Europe and there are women who don't like brown men and there are women who love brown men. I highly doubt this would only be in Europe.

What could also be a problem is that maybe you have too much muscles. White women generally tend to go with skinny guys. Skinny like Zac Efron. Little muscles, but good abs.

Alright you've said a lot of so I'll try to respond to each section.

Now full disclosure: You may discount my advice because of it, but I'm a 29 yr old, married female who identifies as a feminist. I find this site fascinating and I've never even thought to post a response before but I've read several of your posts and you keep getting in your own way. So feel free to stop reading if you're not interested.

My advice is as follows:

-STOP SAYING YOU'RE CURSED. You're tall, dark and handsome and you're complaining? Bitch Please. Women love that shit.

-It's tough letting go of a messed up childhood, I'm not going to pretend that I can relate because we all go through different shit. What I can tell you is that you have to deal with these issues NOW. You cannot continue to carry them around with you. At 18 people are sympathetic, 25 you'll get a little understanding, at 30 you'll get a bunch of eye rolls. There comes a point when you need to own your shit and stop projecting it because no woman is going to want to deal with it. It's unhealthy for everyone.

-I believe you about the racism (cough. Paula Deen. cough.) . Unfortunately, its alive in well in the US esp. the south. I've been living here for about a year and I was shocked with how openly people displayed it. I'm sorry for what you've been through. But I guess the question is: What's holding you here? It's not like this everywhere. If you're unhappy, leave.

-So your first love didn't work out? Most don't. And we should all be thankful for that! I can't imagine if I actually married the first guy I loved. I'd probably be divorced or an alcoholic. Also, losing your virginity at 18 ain't no thing. I think its about average so what are you so worried about? You think women can tell by looking at you? We can't. And even it we could we wouldn't give a shit. Guys seem to care much more about the number of sexual partners and experience than women.

-What the hell website were you looking at that said women hate Indian men!? That's batshit crazy and I've been to boycott American women website. You think I internalized everything I read there? Absolutely not! I had a good laugh, emailed it to some friends and moved on. Don't let a ridiculous website define you. It's the internet, I bet you could google "Indian men fetishes" and get a million hits on why women covet you. My point: Stop with the fucking internet.

-Why are you so hung up on the race of the women you've been with? I find this strange. Is there a particular reason white women are on a pedestal? Also, I'm guessing your in your mid-twenties? 10 is not so bad.

-I'm about to get anecdotal on your ass. I know two couples that are a white woman and an Indian man. Both married. One of them met and began dating in (get ready to clutch your pearls)...North Carolina. No one gave a shit, because THEY didn't give a shit. And if your friends do, why are you hanging out with a bunch or racists?

-The reality is you can't help who you're attracted to. What's concerning is that you're lumping all these women together because you've hooked up with 1 or 2 women of a certain race. Why are you not judging women on a case by case basis? Are you really saying you find ALL white, blonde women attractive? That's asinine and you know it. So why cross off all other races? It seems so limiting. I'm NOT saying, "don't go after white girls." But why not take a breath, go out and meet some girls and see who you have chemistry with. It could be a chick with blonde hair, it could be an African American or maybe a Latina. My point is keep your eyes open and don't be so quick to dismiss someone based on race. (Especially when you're specifically complaining that that's what white women do to you).

-There's nothing wrong with having an escape and exploring your options. Bigger cities are much more diverse and race isn't as big of a deal. I've lived in major cities most of my adult life and know many bi-racial couples and no one even blinks, because that's the way it should be. So maybe you need to seriously consider expanding your horizons and move someplace new.

-Why in the hell would you cancel a trip to Europe!? Who is telling you this nonsense and better yet, why the fuck are you believing them? Why not go to Europe and take hooking up off the table? Why not go for the experience of seeing something new and exploring and if you happen to hook up, awesome! But if not, you just had a fucking amazing time in Europe! AND now have some great stories to tell. STOP revolving your life around hooking up with women, becoming obsessive about anything isn't healthy.

-If you want to live a good life the first thing you have to do is be happy with yourself. Start out with your job. Do you like what you're doing? What are your goals? Find an area you want to live that you like and is good for your career(actually go to these places and check them out!). You wanna date a different kind of woman? Expand your social circle if you want to meet new people (especially women). Most major cities have a kickball team which is basically an excuse for people 22-35 to get drunk and hook up. There's also volunteer work. Get involved with things that you actually want to do so you can try to connect with someone who may actually have similar interests. And if they want nothing to do with you because of the color of your skin then feel good about writing them off. Why the hell would you want to date a racist?

- Don't become a doctor unless you actually want to be a doctor. I know multiple and its a LONG and EXPENSIVE road.

- If you don't like where you live, then get the fuck out!

-You want to know what the real difference between white blonde women and other women? We need to buy moisturizer with sunscreen in it and if we spend to much time in the pool our hair turns green-ish. (Yep, I'm a blonde, blue eyed, white woman)

-Last bit of advice: If you can't get past this, its time to talk to a professional. Seriously. It's better to go to therapy now than find yourself at 40 sitting across the table from a woman who's pretending to nod sympathetically while you unload on her while she's discreetly checking her watch and planning to delete her OKcupid account as soon as she gets out of there. If you have issues the most manly thing to do is deal with them. You'll be a better and happier person if you do and you deserve to be happy.

Good luck!

even though I said I won't reply

I am not open to the whole be open minded advice, not for me. I am not going to date girls who are Asian or Black, no attraction to them and not going to force myself to date them. My goal is to date the kind of girls I am attracted to and not deviate from that. I cannot see myself being sexually attracted to a girl who is Asian or Black so I won't even bother. Latinas, Brown girls, and mixed girls are a yes but I prefer to date girls who are White.

As for the PMs sent to me, I will reply to those soon.

_________________
I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.

That's fine. Only you know who you're attracted to. But I think you missed most of my points, so I'm going to simplify.

-If you honestly do not believe you can be successful with the women that you're attracted to in your area, why are you still there?

-Cities will give you better odds in general because there's more people

-If your not meeting the type of women your attracted to, expand your social circle by getting involved with different things. Bonus, it will also give you something in common with the Nordic goddess you are seeking.

-Go to Europe, work on your career, improve your social life. All these things make you more attractive to women in general.

-Make sure that when you do meet this woman that you like that you at MINIMUM can pretend that your interested in more than her appearance because we can tell and its a turn off when we're looking for more than a one night thing. It's like when you go on a date with a girl and you can tell she's on the prowl for a husband and as long as he's "perfect on paper" she doesn't actually care who he is as a person. It's just creepy.

-If you are really struggling with your self-esteem because of your race than its time to talk to a professional. You want your shit tight when you meet your dream girl.

Best of luck to you.

thank you and I am very grateful

_________________
I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.

bumped and getting to all PMs soon

_________________
I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.