For most of us, we discover the community in the same way, by googling "How to meet women". This is how I discovered DYD and then MASF almost ten years ago. I was feeling frustrated by my lack of success, and finding the seduction material lifted the veil off my head.

I realize now that the most important thing I got out of that discovery was that I started actively talking to women. At the time I thought that the routines, "Cocky funny", and all that other stuff was the magic pill I needed to crack open the secret of the pussy. But in reality, the times when they worked is when I accidentally came across as naturally funny and confident.

That's not to say routines, etc. are bad. That initial period (few months to a few years, depending on the individual) is a trial-and-error, fake-it-till-you-make-it phase. I would read stuff, try it, and keep what worked. A lot of it didn't work. Over time I became naturally more confident, funny, and expressive. However, I didn't really understand that it was ME that women were attracted too, so I would often try too hard. I was also more competitive, and would often piss guys off (via AMOGing, etc.). Nowadays, I'm equally joyful with everyone.

One thing that I see sometimes among newbies, which I luckily didn't experience much of personally, is information overload. This is a guy who just consumes more and more PU literature without ever putting it to the test. And when he does talk to a woman, he gets frustrated, because he thinks "I know all this stuff, and none of it works." That's because the single most important thing you need to get better with women is practice and experience. And that's something you can get with a bare minimum of reading.

The advice "just be yourself" can be annoying to hear for a guy who's unsuccessful with women. But in the long run that's the best advice. You have to improve who "yourself" is however. If you're afraid of approaching women, that's not "you." That's "you" plus "fear". If you remove the pointless fear, the "you" that's left will be much happier and more successful. We're no longer hunted by sabertooth tigers, and we don't live in small packs, so once useful emotions like fear and jealousy are now just plain harmful. Evolution just hasn't caught up to our fast growth yet.

All of the experienced community guys I have met were all normal. They were funny, confident, interesting, and successful, but they were still "normal". If you didn't know they were in the community, you'd just think they were regular guys who were naturally cool. I've hung out with Johnny, Joseph, Maj, Kwag, 60, Jazzy.... And in all those cases we just hung out, laughed, had some drinks, etc. The times we talked about game was almost compulsory, like "well, guess we should talk shop." It's just not something experienced guys have to think about consciously anymore, and in fact they're too busy with friends, hobbies, and LIFE to be thinking about that stuff anymore.

Part of the challenge in developing yourself as a man, and this is something I experienced, is that our culture no longer produces men. We remain children until we're 30, sometimes longer. We have no goals, no prospects, no careers, just an ill-defined thought of trying to find what will make us "happy." The community is one of the very few places were you can get training in how to be a man anymore, but it's a very narrow slice of the pie. You have to fearlessly pursue everything, and keep in your life that which makes you happy.

These days, the times I fuck up with women is when I try to live up to an expectation, or meet some kind of quota. As a seduction guru, or PUA, or whatever label, you sometimes may feel like you have to live up to that. Right after I got out of my LTR a couple years ago, I fucked a bunch of chicks pretty quickly, went on a bunch of dates, posted a bunch of reports, and so on. The last few months I've slowed down a lot though. And I thought, "oh shit, what's wrong with me?" I was still trying to live up to an image, rather than just being myself and doing what I wanted to.

Just a couple days ago, I fucked an amazingly beautiful woman next to a waterfall at night. It was the single most amazing experience she'd ever had, and I was the one to give her that. It wasn't the result of me trying to meet women or running game or anything like that. It just happened very very naturally. The extent of game I used was a couple minutes of logistics. I didn't even need to do any state-amping or LMR-busting or any of that junk. It just happened, magically and beautifully, and it reminded me that was how I enjoyed it the most. Stressing about meeting X women or getting Y lays was just a waste of energy.

Usually I post advice about Relationships and the like, because I feel the more important thing for guys to learn is to how to be emotionally centered. Learning how to meet women is pretty easy (I mean easy in the sense that if you put in the time, you will get results, like learning karate or playing guitar). But getting laid doesn't automatically make you happy or fulfill you. Learning how to manage your own emotions and desires, and to be a leader of yourself (nevermind others) is critical. I have natural friends who are very good at meeting women, but still get screwed up over them all the time.

My advice to guys is to read what's available in small bits, TRY IT OUT on real women, then come back and look for feedback, apply that advice, then read a little more. But don't take what's written too seriously, don't take women too seriously, and most of all, don't take yourself too seriously.